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Woman Stunned After Boyfriend Says He Thinks It’s ‘Weird’ She Says ‘I Love You’ To Her Brother

Photo by Sander Sammy/Unsplash

Showing affection is a trait of many species.

It is a natural thing to express one’s feelings for another.

Three words that express so much joy.

Why is it those three words can also make people uneasy?

Even in the most innocent and natural situations.

Case in point…

Redditor TechnicianDue5587 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for telling my girlfriend that it’s weird that she says ‘I love you’ to her brother?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My (26 M[ale]) girlfriend (24 F[emale]) has a brother (19m) who goes to college only about an hour from where we live.”

“He sometimes visits my girlfriend, and whenever he leaves from the visit, my girlfriend says that she loves him.”

“And he usually returns a thumbs-up(which is kind of funny).”

“But I think it shows he’s a bit weirded out as well by her saying she loves him.”

“I understand saying ‘I love you’ to your parents or kids.”

“But it feels weird to say it to a sibling, since while I do love my brother, never in a million years would I say that to him.”

“I told my girlfriend this, and she seemed kind of weirded out by what I said.”

“She said that there was no problem with what she says, and that I was the one being weird.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“YTA. Expressing emotions is good, actually.”

“Don’t be the guy who, on his deathbed, wishes he’d told the people he loves how he felt.”

“You love your brother? Tell him!”

“You love your girlfriend? Tell her!”

“You love that bird that’s trying to steal crumbs from your lunch? TELL IT!”  ~ perfidious_snatch

“Every day when I leave work, I tell everyone I love them and I’ll see them tomorrow.”

“My brother is 25, I’m 28, and every time we talk on the phone we end it with a ‘love you, talk soon, bye.'”

“Like WHAT is OP on?!”  ~ stix-and-stones

“I never say it to my parents.”

“I didn’t grow up like that.”

“My mom doesn’t say it either but she signs with ‘Love mom’ and they show it with actions.”

“However I understand other families say it to all family members.”

“Frankly it’s really weird to single out ur sibling.”

“But who am I to judge?”

“I just don’t think OP is in a place to judge either.”

“YTA OP ur the one acting weird.”

“And that is OK but don’t make it ur girlfriend’s problem.”  ~ Happy-Investment

“Exactly, like her brother probably replies with a thumbs up because he could feel awkward saying it back.”

“But that’s because of the way society raises them.”

“You won’t blame OP for being emotionally stunted but it is something he should work on building.”  ~ Admirable_Pipe_5918

“I agree!”

“I (30 something female) had a rare phone call from my best friend (40 something male) this evening, and before saying goodbye, we both said ‘I love you.'”

“It’s completely normal! I cannot imagine ending a call from him without saying that.”

“Whenever my brother’s (late 20s) about to leave for work or something.’

“I make a point of saying ‘I love you’, just in case he never makes it home (he works nights, and has a 35km commute).”

“I know it sounds silly, but I really do worry about him travelling that far to/from work, especially now that it’s heading into winter.”

“We live in a rural area, and the roads can be fairly degraded in areas.”

“If you love someone, you should tell them, because one day, you won’t be able to.” ~ -clogwog-

“Exactly. My dad died last year, he was intubated in the hospital for several weeks because of plague.”

“Last time I spoke to him over face time I DIDN’T tell him I love him.”

“I told him, when they gave us the opportunity to say our last goodbyes in the hospital.”

“He wasn’t awake.”

“You bet I still hate myself for not saying it to him that one time.”

“I always ended our calls with “I love you dad”, but not that one time.”

“I will hate myself forever for not doing so. OP YTA.”  ~ MaiElorym

“I used to think other people did say ‘I love you’ to their siblings.”

“It’s just kind of sad to find out that it’s not true.”

“I told my brother ALL THE TIME Every time we said goodbye whether it be in person or over the phone we said it.”

“I’m grateful for the last phone call I had with him the day before he died.”

“And you betcha I told him I loved him before we hung up.”

“I didn’t know that was the last time I would get to talk to him.”

“Gone between one day and the next.”

“You just never know.”  ~ Peters_Wife

“My Dad (who I miss every day) was a big man… blue collar worker.”

“As manly as it gets.”

“My brother is the same way.”

“Although my brother’s vocabulary is considerably bluer than my Dad’s ever was.”

“Both men told/tell their people (including siblings) I love you.”

“I’m so glad to have been raised in a family where that was the norm.”  ~ MerelyWhelmed1

“I’ll give OP a little credit because realistically a lot of men are raised to be this way, repressing emotions is something we’re taught to do from a young age.”

“So expressing ourselves (including saying I love you to anyone but your SO or mother) is kinda difficult sometimes.”

“Poor guy probably doesn’t even realize that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and he’s the one being weird.” ~ Thefourthchosen

“YTA. If you felt a little weirded out and kept it to yourself, that would be one thing.”

“Why oh why would you tell her that?”

“You should always let the ones you love know it.”

“Your assumption that the brother’s thumbs up indicates he’s weirded out is way out of line”

“I hope you didn’t share that assumption with your GF.”

“That’s you projecting your insecurities on someone else.”  ~ ExSeaDog

“Well said. That’s a rule of thumb that makes more and more sense as you get older.”

“Always let people know you love them. Always.”

“Love you never know when they’ll be gone.”

“Or never know who’s struggling and needed to hear that.”

“Showing consistent appreciation makes things flourish.”  ~ suhseal

“It really does.”

“And it’s FREE!”

“That’s what’s so nice about saying I love you, or giving credit or praise to a team member or collaborator: you make someone feel nice.”

“It literally costs you nothing, while also feeling good about it. Wins all around!”  ~ BeatrixFarrand

“I hug my brother and tell him I love him every time I see him.”

“He is basically a human robot and will just shake my hand and nod.”

“He’s not uncomfortable with affection, he just doesn’t initiate it.”

“If my husband ever decided to tell me how someone I’ve known my whole life felt based on an opinion I’d be really annoyed.”  ~ MansonVixen

“YTA. I have 4 brothers. EVERYTIME, with out a fail, I tell my brothers ‘I love you.'”

“You never know when you’re going to lose someone.”

“Always say you love them before y’all depart.”

“You got some issues with showing affection.” ~ Space_Kitty69

“YTA. My husband’s family says I Love You to each other all the time.”

“And I frankly think it’s weird that my family doesn’t so I’ve tried to incorporate that into conversations.”

“Her brother is her family… I don’t understand how it’s weird.” ~ SHumbleRN

“My dad had 4 brothers.”

“He wasn’t close to the oldest so I don’t remember him saying I love you to him.”

“But he told the other three he loved them all the time whether it was on the phone or in person.”

“Two have them have passed away and he makes sure to always tell last remaining one.”

“He makes sure to always to tell his nieces and nephews too.”

“And he NEVER texts me without it starting with I love you. He’s 69.”

“So he was born in the manly men era.”

“In fact, one of my staff met him and told me she could see everyone one of my boyfriends (I’m a woman) being scared to death of him.”

“She’s right they were.”

“He’s a manly scary dude and he’s perfectly capable of telling his family he loves them.”  ~ Bonjovirls1

“YTA and you need to go to therapy.” ~ _ChipWhitley_

“YTA. Just because you’re insecure doesn’t mean the rest of the human race is.”

“Quit sexualizing your girlfriend’s perfectly normal and common relationship with her brother.”

“It makes you a creep.”  ~ DankyMcJangles

Well OP, it sounds like you may need a hug… from a sibling perhaps.

In this day and age finding love, of any kind, is a gift.

It’s always good to know when someone cares about you.

Maybe a little therapy could be helpful.