Finding hair in a restaurant prepared meal is a common complaint and fictional plot device.
But is human hair inherently dangerous in food?
Human hair in food can be a health hazard because of:
- Pathogens: hair can carry bacteria like Staphylococcus or E. coli, which can cause foodborne illness
- Physical harm: swallowing hair can puncture mucous membrane
- Lack of sanitation: presence of hair in food could indicate a lack of attention to other food safety practices
However, a single strand of hair from a known clean source—like a family member—is unlikely to cause any more harm than the bodily fluids and skin to skin contact being made daily.
Hair is composed of keratin, an inactive protein that shouldn’t cause any issues if eaten. Ingested hair is typically not harmful and being undigestible passes through the body.
But even though it’s mostly harmless, that doesn’t mean someone wants to find even a family member’s hair in their food.
A husband upset about his wife’s hair in his foid turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Lohojok asked:
“AITA for asking my wife to wear a hairnet while cooking?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“So, here’s the situation. My wife loves to cook, and I truly appreciate her meals—they’re delicious.”
“However, her hair keeps getting in the food. It’s long and tends to shed a lot, so it’s almost a guarantee that I’ll find at least one strand in every meal.”
“I’ve tried to casually mention it a few times, saying stuff like, ‘Oh, looks like your hair wanted to join dinner’, but it hasn’t made much of a difference.”
“Finally, I decided to ask her to wear a hairnet while cooking. I figured it was a practical solution.”
“She got really upset, saying it’s embarrassing and that I’m making her feel like she’s gross. That wasn’t my intention—I just don’t love finding hair in my food.”
“She says I’m overreacting and should just deal with it since it’s not that big of a deal. I think it’s a simple request to improve both of our dining experience.”
“Now I’m second-guessing myself because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t think I’m being unreasonable.”
“AITA?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“The action I took was asking my wife to wear a hairnet while cooking because her hair keeps getting in the food.”
“I somewhat feel like an a**hole because she is in the comfort of her own home and wearing a hairnet is embarrassing and annoying.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The majority of Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole (YTA) for skipping obvious suggestions in favor of the most extreme option.
“I think a ponytail would probably suffice.” ~ nevermind2483
“Or a clip that just holds the hair back behind her shoulders. Doesn’t even need to be fully up, but having it all up would help a lot.” ~ cookorsew
“Yup. Some of my friends do this. I grew up in a household with multiple people with long hair.”
“Hair was spread all over the house, but rarely in our food and drinks because we paid attention around food and avoided touching our hair when we did food prepping.” ~ EggplantHuman6493
“YTA. A hair net? Are you serious? Do you pay her to make your meals?”
“That was dramatic and humiliating. You could simply ask her to put her hair up or wear a hat, but a hair net? What other ways do you treat her like she’s “the help” instead of your wife?”
“How much of the cooking do you do, and how much are you going to pay your wife to be your glorified lunch lady?”
“Get real, buddy. Next time you have a reasonable request, try asking it in a reasonable way.” ~ Leviosahhh
“This happens to me embarrassingly often since growing my hair long—no idea why but it seems like I’m especially prone to shedding. If I’m cooking for others I’ll put my hair in a braid or tight bun and that almost always does the trick.” ~ gaygirlboss
“My ma sheds a lot and she just puts a bandana on whenever she cooks. It’s never crossed my mind that it’s something to be ashamed of. It’s just the Cooking Bandana. It’s the same as an apron to me.” ~ Heavy-Macaron2004
“I would ask her kindly to find a solution to this issue and let her research something that works for her. Because of her hurt feelings, I think she will protest any suggestion coming from her husband.” ~ charismatictictic
“Yes. YTA. Everything in that house comes in or out of her. Unless you’re going to start cooking all of the meals you eat the dang hair and thank her for the extra amino acids.” ~ Longjumping-Plant617
“YTA…did your mom or grandma wear a hairnet?” ~ GenXrules69
“Or maybe you can cook.” ~ Available-Ad3581
“YTA. Never in my life have I heard of someone wearing a hairnet while cooking at home. Asking that of her is ridiculous.”
“Tying it together (which will keep the shedding hair from falling into the food too)—yes. But not a freaking hairnet.” ~ 02063
“YTA. You skipped over ‘maybe you could pull your hair back in a pony or hair clip’ and went straight to hair net like a lunch lady.” ~ raerae1991
“YTA. Do you find your wife unsavory or unhygienic?”
“Perhaps you should do the cooking instead? I’m sure, no matter how much she enjoys it, she’d rather be doing something else.”
“I can very much understand why your wife would be upset. In addition to you complaining about something that’s not her fault and making her feel like she’s untouchable, you’re taking her efforts to keep you fed for granted.” ~ Dunmordre
“Yes, you are the a**hole, YTA. Are you an adult? Then, cook for yourself if you don’t like it.” ~ DRMDTM
“Ask her to tie her hair in a ponytail or a braid or wear a head scarf/wrap. An occasional hair in the dish is embarrassing enough.”
“Now we have a cat and a cat hair at every meal is nearly a given, yet if it were my hair I would be mortified. Unlike cats, whose hair is fluffy and literally floats sometimes, a human being can and should control theirs.”
“However, WTF‽‽ Who wears a hairnet at home? That suggestion was just mean. YTA.” ~ Snakeinyourgarden
“Honestly? I’d be pretty offended if my boyfriend started by asking me to wear a hairnet. The hair in the food is obviously a problem, but why not be direct and start a conversation?”
“Why not start with asking her to tie up her hair? Deciding your partner should wear a hairnet as a solution without her input is, of course, going to upset her. YTA.” ~ worth_the_drive
“I don’t think you are an a**hole, but I do wish you had approached it differently. Why, oh why, do people think unilaterally deciding on their solution is better than asking the other person to collaboratively problem solve?”
“First, you hinted but never actually said, ‘Wife, I love your cooking, and I love your looks, but I don’t love looking at your hair in your cooking as I’m eating it. It seems to happen every meal, so this is something I would like to work with you to address.”
“Then, you just slapped down a solution that you came up with. Instead of her feeling insulted and defensive at you telling her what she should do to cook meals for you, she might have come up with her own solution and been willing to do it had you not already told her what you think she should do.”
“You could try apologizing for not letting her lead how she would solve this issue. It’s true she could still dismiss your complaint (still offended, just doesn’t care, embarrassed by her hair loss, or ???), but she might decide to put her hair in a ponytail or address her hair loss. And she might be more open to discussing it with you.” ~ swillshop
“YTA. I would never wear a hairnet in my own home. She’s not your personal lunch lady. Literally any other suggestion would’ve been acceptable.” ~ CodeAdorable1586
“ESH. Expecting her to keep her hair in a ponytail or similar to keep it contained would be fine. Asking her to wear a hairnet is an a**hole move—and you knew that when you said it, OP—as there’s definitely a stigma around hairnets.”
“It also sounds like you joke about the hair in your food rather than just calmly and clearly telling her that it (understandably) grosses you out. If she doesn’t realize that it really bothers you, she won’t go to the effort of correcting the problem.”
“That being said, I run a school kitchen and have long, shed-prone hair. It isn’t hard to put it up in a ponytail to keep it out of the food. I don’t know why your wife doesn’t get how icky it is to have her hair in the food she makes, but she needs to take it seriously and fix this.” ~ Winterwynd
“YTA. The way you approached it was kind of rude and I understand her feeling like she does.”
“Asking her to make sure not to have on long-sleeved shirts and to put her hair up into an elastic would have been a much better suggestion than a hair net.”
“As an ex-culinary student, that’s all they asked us to do, and we never had any issues with hair in food.” ~ DaughterOfCain
“Why didn’t you just ask her to put her hair up instead? Going straight to a hair net seems excessive.”
“Especially if it’s just one strand of hair. You could’ve brought it up by saying, ‘I don’t want your hair to get in the way of cooking. Would you want to put it up?’.” ~ FakeNameJessie
“YTA. It’s not an unreasonable ask to keep hair out of the food when she cooks, but I think it might have been an a**hole move to suggest the hair net first.”
“I also have long hair that sheds a lot, but I usually just throw my hair up in a quick bun to keep it from falling into the food.”
“Does she at least tie her hair up when she’s cooking, or is it down?” ~ tatertotbabe
“YTA: I did a lot of the cooking and have long hair. If my wife asked me to wear a hairnet or vice versa, there would be a pretty heated argument with consequences. You go do the cooking from now on or STFU.” ~ theBigDaddio
“It’s just a hair. You kiss your wife on the mouth right? That’s significantly less hygienic than washed hair.”
“In my opinion, it’s not that big a deal and easily one of those things you tolerate or ignore because you love her and her cooking.”
“I’m not going YTA, but I do think your approach was ill-conceived.” ~ Beneficial-Focus3702
While no one was enthusiastic about hair as a culinary condiment, the majority thought the OP’s suggestion was deliberately extreme to get a reaction from his wife.
And if it’s such an issue that he’s suggesting a hair net, cooking his own meals is a simple solution.