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Woman Accused Of ‘Emasculating’ Friend’s Boyfriend By Beating Him Twice Playing Squash


Some people just can’t take a little competition.

I’ve seen card games become deadly.

Why are humans so touchy about losing during friendly combat?

It’s just a game. Right?

Case in point…

Redditor Forsaken-Treacle-654 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for “emasculating” a guy by winning against him in a game?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My husband and I have been playing squash for the last few months once or twice every week.”

“Recently, my friend ‘Rebecca’ and her boyfriend ‘Joe’ joined us too and yesterday was their 2nd time playing.”

“I played 2 games against Joe and won both of them, because I have been playing for much longer than he has.”

“I saw that he was starting to get a bit angry after the first game so I told him he is doing really good considering it’s only his 2nd time.”

“But didn’t let him win the second game either.”

“When he played with Rebecca after that, he acted really rude and belittling towards her because she wasn’t as good.”

“When we got home, I asked them if they wanted to join us on our evening dog walk and they said yes, but Joe seemed to be in a really bad mood.”

“We walked for about 1.5 hours, which is a usual evening walk for us.”

“During the walk, Joe was rude towards Rebecca, getting mad at her because she didn’t know where we were, etc.”

“Next day, Rebecca was all mad at me, saying that she had to deal with Joe’s bad mood because I not just won against him twice, but then I also ‘challenged’ him on a walk.”

“She said that I shouldn’t have emasculated him, because he took it out on her.”

“I told her that Joe is an a**hole and she should break up with him if he treats her badly.”

“Rebecca says that I had to know that Joe will react like this and I was deliberately trying to emasculate him because I don’t like him.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NTA. Men don’t get emasculated by a game and a dog walk. He just isn’t one.”  ~ tatasz

“Yes!! Like my husband used to say, if they think it’s my purse then I guess they know I don’t give a crap what they think!”

“You are the kind of man we moms and aunts want to influence our kids.”

“Boys and girls both need to know a real man is confident that he has nothing to prove.”

“It will help them avoid toxic relationships before they even start.”  ~ Island*itching

“That’s the difference between a healthy relationship with positive masculinity versus a destructive, immature relationship with toxic masculinity in a nutshell.”

“Healthy ideas of masculinity and positive role models of what it means to be a man aren’t easily threatened or challenged.”

“Because it’s only toxic masculinity’s definition of manhood that is like forced on very young boys to think oh you’re not a man if a girl can beat you at something (because women are weak).”  ~ badgersprite

“We’re living in 2022 while Joe is still stuck in 1822.”

“Honestly, that’s not emasculation, that’s being a sore loser and forcing it on someone who doesn’t need to be part of it.”  ~ Vegetto8701

“HAHA, he’s just a really crappy loser with a very small ego apparently.”

“If he can’t deal with losing to a girl and then verbally beating his girlfriend up as a way to make himself feel better.”

“Ugh… but then if it was me I’d challenge him again to see how big of a temper tantrum he pitches next time.”

“Because I guarantee next time there will be throwing of objects and a lot of cussing. Lol.”  ~ Chance-Ad-9952

“It’s not other people’s job to make you feel like a man.”

“You are one.”

“If you don’t feel like enough of one that’s a YOU problem and you need to unpack your toxic relationship with masculinity.”

“I need to destroy and dominate other people, especially women, to feel like a man.”

“And work towards embracing a healthy relationship with positive masculinity.”

“What makes me feel like a man is that I’m a good example to the younger men in my life and in my family, people trust me and feel safe and protected around me, just as an example.”  ~ badgersprite

“My wife beats my everlovinfu**in a** at Mario party every. single. time.”

“She shows no mercy and has said such.”

“It’s adorable watching her get all focused and excited on something she’s good at.”

“And then she leaves floating trees in my Minecraft world and I seriously consider divorce.”

“You said it perfectly, I just wanted to add my anecdote.”

“Def NTA.”  ~Dis4Wurk

“NTA – Joe is toxic AF.”

“It was a dog walk, not a double-dog dare.”

“And getting mad because he was beat by a girl and then taking it out on his gf?”

“What a prize. Be kind to your friend as much as you can.”

“Sounds like she is in an abusive relationship and she will really need a friend when she finally figures that out.”  ~ Seemoreifsandsorbuts

“Speaking as a family lawyer this sounds like the kind of guy who is going to come home from a bad day at work one day and think that justifies him throwing his dinner plate at his wife’s head.”

“Because he was in a bad mood due to something that happened at his job and she didn’t magically cook the dish that made all his bad feelings go away.”

“And therefore it’s HER fault that he’s angry.”

“And I know this seems like a horrible assumption to make about a person but like trust me a frighteningly high percentage of people and households are like this at least sometimes.”  ~ badgersprite

“NTA. Don’t play if you aren’t emotionally mature enough to handle losing.”

“Don’t associate with women if your fragile excuse for masculinity can’t handle them being good at things they do regularly.”  ~ Sk111W

“Joe is a walking red flag.”

“How long have he and Rebecca been together? Effing yikes.”

“I don’t know what your relationship is with Rebecca.”

“But if you want to say something to her about how this is NOT okay, I’d just ask her if she’s ready for Joe to mistreat her every time he’s upset.”

“Every time he has a bad day at work, every time he gets into traffic, for the rest of the relationship.”

“You’re just trying to play a game and have fun.”

“If something that benign sets him off so hard he mistreats his girl, why is she his girl?”

“NTA!”  ~ GoingPriceForHome

“NTA. Why is this even a question?”

“Joe lost two games of squash against a far more experienced player.”

“Evidently, in Joe’s world, the best female athlete is still worse than the worst male athlete.”

“Joe is being insecure and abusive.”

“And you were right to advise Rebecca to break up with him.”

“No one emasculated Joe, except Joe.”  ~ RighteousVengeance

“NTA. Obviously Joe is ridiculously fragile.”

“‘Rebecca says that I had to know that Joe will react like this’ – no to that.”

“Because no sensible adult behaves that way.”

“Rebecca is wrong and Joe’s an a**hole.”  ~ MadamMarshmallows

“Though I can totally hear Joe telling Rebecca 12 times a day that ‘you had to know that if you do X, I’ll explode, and you made me, so it’s your fault.'”

“If she’s truly unlucky, it’s not the first man in her life who makes women responsible for not being a mindreader AND keeping the world perfect around them.”

“NTA in the slightest, OP.”  ~ Ok-Painting4168

“Worse is that it’s only a small step from that into “I wouldn’t hit you if you didn’t make me so mad!/It’s your fault I hit you as you made me so mad'”

“Like. yikes. Joe is *not* safe with this attitude as its likely to escalate and OP should be concerned for her friend.”

“Though obviously joe is going to try and make Rebecca mad at OP so, R stops talking to OP!”

“It’s like straight out of the abusers playbook.”

“OP is definitely NTA. (Its definitely Joe!)” ~ Puzzled_Magpie

“You did your friend a favor by exposing in part the true nature of this guy. NTA.”

“Who the hell thinks a dog walk is a competition?!”

“I’ve never played squash, but I’ve played racquetball and tennis enough to know that it’s a finesse game.”

“This guy probably thought he could outplay you just by hitting the ball harder.”

“What a (sore) loser.”  ~ dasbeidler

“Got really nervous when the post started with ‘My husband’ lol.

“Anyway, NTA.”

“This dude sounds like his penis got called small once and he’s spent his whole life compensating for it.”  ~ aitabrowsermostly

It’s just a game. Why are people so serious?

OP it sounds like Reddit knows you’re in the right.

And Rebecca is probably gonna need you more sooner than later.

Keep playing strong.