Being a woman means we have to be skeptical about people. We need to protect ourselves from creeps and perverts.
Even if it makes us look bad.
So, when we see signs of a man being creepy or crossing personal boundaries, we must trust our gut and stay safe.
Redditor shameddogsmoocher encountered this very issue with her friend. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for calling a guy creepy for making a T-shirt using photos of me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I know this sounds like a very small issue but this ‘drama’ has flipped my entire gal circle upside down and I need to know if I’m being insensitive or on the right track:”
“Last year, pre-disaster, my boyfriend and I arranged this camping trip near our local mountain. We brought a couple of friends and they brought a couple of friends with them so it was about 10-12 people all together.”
“Most of the time everyone was with their boyfriend/girlfriend or best friend.”
“My boyfriend and I were just chilling in the mountain when my friend’s friend came over and asked us if we wanted some nice pictures. He had a nice camera and we thought we could make nice memories so we agreed.”
“He took multiple pictures of us together and told us he would send it to us, which he did.”
OP didn’t give it a second thought.
“That happened a while ago so I had forgotten until this recent event:”
“This guy DM’s me about the trip and at first I thought it was a nice nostalgic ‘hey remember the time when everything was okay’ kind of thing but it seemed like he was trying to get to a point. He told me that he made a couple of T-shirts to commemorate the event which he wanted to give to me.”
“This was a bit strange because 1. the trip wasn’t a big deal/event 2. We weren’t close and the main reason we even went together was because tickets were cheaper in bulk.”
“Anyway, I wanted to be polite and so I said cool, send a pic so I can see.”
“He sends me a picture and at first I thought it was customized shirt (it was not) because the T-shirt was like a collage, but it was 90% me with like some parts of my boyfriend’s hand near the edge of the frame.”
“I was hella creeped out because like that’s pretty far cross the ‘normal’ line and I asked him if he was serious.”
The guy did not understand OP’s confusion.
“He got offended that I didn’t appreciate his free work and he said that it was insulting that I jumped into conclusions about him being creepy.”
“He took photos of some of the other people but he didn’t include them at all and I called him a creep and told him to get rid of the shirt & to not use my photographs ever again, which led to a full blown (IMO) passive aggressive rant from him about how I used him for nice instagram pics.”
“I haven’t told my boyfriend yet but my friends are arguing between ‘he’s a creep’ and ‘she’s being an ass about pictures she was okay with him taking’ and I need some help distinguishing which side is right.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“As a guy, I find this creepy as all hell. NTA” ~ Portie_lover
“As a human, I also find this creepy af. NTA” ~ chiMcBenny