Body-shaming is a terrible thing to do and is completely unacceptable.
There’s rarely something so uncalled for, agreed many on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor PickleweaselNaeNae recently felt body-shamed by a member of her family and felt the need to stand up for herself.
But after receiving considerable backlash, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was wrong to retaliate.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for talking about my aunt’s watermelon a**?”
The OP recently shared a project her son had completed.
“My son and his friend put up a tire swing in the yard for my grandchild.”
“I posted a picture of me swinging in it on Facebook.”
The OP’s aunt made a surprising remark.
“My Aunt (Dad’s sister) commented on it, saying, ‘I hate skinny people.'”
“I’m not one for Facebook drama, so instead of commenting back, I called her.”
“I basically said that I don’t talk about her watermelon a**, so she shouldn’t be talking about my weight.”
The family didn’t respond well to the OP’s criticism.
“Now all my aunts, 5 of them, are mad at me because apparently skinny people can’t be body-shamed and that I should have told her first that I don’t like those comments instead of straight-out calling her out on her watermelon a** like I did.”
“I don’t think I’m the a**hole because it’s not like I told her that I’m skinny because my sisters and I have always exercised more, so we didn’t inherit the family watermelon a**, but skinny is also something I didn’t have to really work for. It’s just how I am.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the aunt and niece both handled themselves poorly, earning an ESH rating.
“The thing is, if you were to reverse the situation and anyone was to say ‘I hate fat people’ it would be a clearly unacceptable thing to say.”
“I was also underweight for a while due to a medication and I hated it. So many people commented on my body thinking I lost weight intentionally but I was struggling trying to gain weight. The comments made me even more insecure about it.”
“It’s gross to comment on other people’s bodies and if you do so in a demeaning way you get what’s coming. I feel like the only acceptable comment to make to someone about their body is a vague sort of ‘you look nice’” – Megsann1117
“I feel like what people are overlooking here is the intent behind some of these comments. To be clear: I think the aunt is an AH and I don’t agree with those sort of comments at all (I was underweight for a while and got a lot of shit for it and it sucked).”
“But I feel like there’s a difference between what they said to each other. Like I hear a lot of people say ‘I hate skinny people’ meaning ‘Ugh I wish I could do that/look like that, I kind of hate you lol.'”
“Again, I don’t condone it (people should just stop talking about each others bodies seriously wtf), but when OP said ‘your watermelon a**’ it obviously didn’t have that connotation at all and she even said that she avoided it because she ‘works out’ which is pretty judgmental.”
“The big difference between the two insults is ‘your body sucks, I wish I had it’ and ‘your body sucks, gross,’ which is (I assume) why the aunt was surprised. ESH for sure.” – solarisinka
“Aunt made an indirect remark about ‘people’ with an envious connotation – still not tactful or empathetic at all.”
“OP went for the big guns, insulting her a** in a passive-aggressive mode – pointing directly at a part of her body.”
“And being skinny IS a model and a societal plus, while being fat is not – at all.”
“ESH for me. Aunt could have said, ‘I wish I could do that too, you look like having fun,’ but OP is the rudest here…” – PattyPatata
Others said they thought the aunt was trying to make a compliment.
“I agree that it’s not an appropriate thing to say, and perhaps the aunt meant it as an insult from the beginning (though if she had, it was weird phrasing).”
“Personally, I have heard many many women say exactly ‘I hate skinny people’ and mean ‘I am jealous.’ In fact, many of them (especially older women) even seem to think they’re paying a compliment.”
“Either way, the correct response was ‘that hurt my feelings, why would you say that?’ and not ‘well here are some specific things about your body that I think are unattractive and reasons why I am superior for avoiding those features.'” – solarisink
“Honestly, I’ve been fat and skinny and I’ll tell you right now the harassment people get for being skinny is not the same. A majority of it is comments of people like what the aunt said which is basically code for ‘man I wish I looked like that.'”
“Is it appropriate? No, but the OP’s response was not on the same level. Theirs was much more ‘ewww, you’re gross’.”
“Fat people are denied for jobs, ignored in health care (was literally a news story a few weeks ago of women who was told to lose weight over and over for her issues and it turned out she has cancer) , and hell ignored in general (being the fat girl out with friends you will see it lol)”
“And saying ‘I hate skinny people’ might hurt that one person’s feelings it is not the same thing as a whole society treating you like shit for existing.”
“I think they should have confronted their aunt and let them know it made them uncomfortable but they were an a** about it. ESH in my opinion.” – foxesandflowers109
A few thought the OP was only defending herself.
“I disagree. Op is NTA. If the person with the watermelon a** can’t handle remarks about her body, then she shouldn’t be talking about anyone else’s.”
“Just because someone is skinny doesn’t mean people are allowed to be s**tty.” – liveandletdieax
“In my family, the women are thicker. And when they say something about someone being skinny, it’s not about their desire to be skinny, they’re just being judgy a**holes. This woman probably was too.” – Jdanielbarlow
After receiving ample replies, the OP replied:
“I accept my ESH verdict, but I’m going to take that to mean I suck and so do all 5 of my aunts.”
“If I’m going down, they’re going down with me.”
The subReddit agreed what a tough situation this was. A few understood where the OP was coming from, and a few understood where the aunt was coming from, but the overwhelming majority believed that both women were in the wrong.
After all, body-shaming is wrong no matter what, and women should not be tearing each other down.