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Woman Livid After Boyfriend Tells Guy Flirting With Her She’s ‘Insecure’ Because She Got Fillers

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Cosmetic procedures like botox and fillers have become increasingly common over the years.

And with that increased popularity has come a lot of criticism from people who feel the procedures are a strange or even mentally unhealthy choice.

A woman on Reddit encountered this when she got lip filler injections, and her boyfriend to her she was insecure because of it.

She wasn’t sure about how she handled the comments, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.

The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the username dreamdoll30 on the site, asked:

“AITA for snapping at my boyfriend for telling a stranger that I got fillers?”

She explained:

“I (25F[emale]) recently got fillers to address a couple of insecurities of mine and I’m happy with the results.”

“Although I’ve been told that I’m attractive, I’m very insecure and suffer from a low self esteem. Fillers helped my mental health and I don’t regret them.”

“My bf has always been super against it. He always says that I’m perfect the way I am and even described me as ‘delusional’.”

“We had a couple of arguments but I made it clear that it’s my body, my choice.”

“A few days ago we went to the beach and I went off by myself to get some drinks. This guy started flirting with me aggressively and my bf approached us.”

“He jokingly told the guy that I’m ‘not worth the hassle’ and that I’m ‘insecure’ anyway. His example of my insecurity was that I got fillers recently.”

“I was shocked and started yelling at him. He told me to calm down and accused me of completely overreacting to a harmless joke. I decided to leave the beach and go over to my friends instead.”

“We’ve argued about this and he was mad that I ditched him. He said that it was just a harmless joke and that I’m too vain. So AITA?”

People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

And as you might guess, given the comments her boyfriend made, nearly everyone was firmly on OP’s side on this one.

“”If I’m not worth the hassle then I guess we shouldn’t be together” seems like a great thing to say to this dude. He literally called you insecure to a STRANGER. That’s trash. You’re NTA whatsoever.” –ZestyClose-Hour8614

“That’s not the kind of thing which can be salvaged. He’s crossing boundaries and demonstrating zero respect for OP.”

“He doesn’t even recognize how wrong he is and he’s trying to pin the blame on OP.”

“People who go there get much much worse if they get the chance. NTA” –doublestitch

“Exactly. THAT WAS NOT A JOKE!”

“It sounds like OP now feels more confident and this sad little man wants to chip away at her self esteem.”

“Again, this was not a joke. This guy told a random stranger about your insecurities and your personal medical procedures to hurt and belittle you + make you feel like you are unworthy, OP.” –Electrical-Date-3951

“This is not a harmless and it’s not a joke. This is him being rude to you and trying to embarrass you.”

“Sit him down and tell him that you’re sorry he is insecure and you’re sorry that guy was flirting with you but you were NOT flirting back, and what you wanted in that situation was for him to come up and like kiss you or be cute to assert your relationship.”

“The enemy was the man flirting with you. You were not the bad guy.”

“By insulting you to try to make you look like less of a catch, he’s telling you that’s how much he values you: that he thinks you’re an insecure burden.”

“He needs to really apologize and fix his behavior. Otherwise accept that he will put you down to keep you insecure enough to stay in a bad relationship” –Another-dumb-idiot

“This. OP, I suspect your BF thinks you’re too good for him, and he’s trying to do everything in his power to play on your insecurities and put you down so you ‘don’t figure it out.'”

“Have you ever wondered if his behavior is contributing to your low self-esteem?” –crystallz2000

“NTA If he’ll say that to a stranger, what is he saying about you to his friends?”

“Might be time to take a step back and decide if this is just an example of how he will behave if you don’t do what he wants in the future. Good luck.”

“(Sometimes you have to do things for you. I got my front gums trimmed because I was self-conscious of how much gum showed when I smiled. Sometimes you just need to take care of yourself.)” –del901

“NTA”

“Another immature jerk who thinks insults are OK as long as you claim, ‘Hey, it was a joke! You’re overreacting! You’re too sensitive! You misunderstood me—I was being FUNNY! Don’t you have a sense of humor?!'”

“Ugh. Life is too short to share it with these ‘jokers.'” –HeartpineFloors

“NTA. This isn’t a joke. This is him bullying you and trying to shame and embarrass you. It’s only a joke if everyone’s laughing. It’s not a joke if it’s at someone’s expense.”

“This response from him is one of the most common I’ve seen from bullies. Your boyfriend is a bully and in my opinion you should dump him.”

“You don’t deserve to be with someone who insults you publicly or privately then tries to make YOU feel bad by saying it’s a joke.” –goddessofthecats

“NTA”

“Nothing wrong with getting fillers if you feel more confident with them! If your boyfriend doesn’t like it and is against that he could’ve just broken up with you?”

“It’s incredibly rude that he literally said to a stranger “You’re not worth the hassle” and that you’re ‘insecure’.” –KindlyAd-6089

“NTA, I’ve considered getting fillers in the future and my bf has been nothing but supportive. His only concern is of I’m doing it to make me happy and not to impress other people.”

“Its good that your bf found you attractive before you got the fillers but he should be supportive in you doing thing to make you happy.”

“Plus it’s not like it’s something extreme that major plastic surgery. It’s fillers not changing your whole face” –PandaKelsie

“he sounds like he has some sort of complex. you weren’t upset he said you had fillers to a stranger (that would be odd alone), its because he actively told a stranger he thinks less of you because of it.”

“extremely uncalled for, check that in immediately and have a long discussion on what his issue with them is. its obviously deeper than ‘you were perfect (to me) before'”

“NTA you couldn’t possibly be.” –NegativeMud-4821

“NTA. I would also question whether you want to stay with him.”

“I have facial piercings and coloured hair, both of which my boyfriend doesn’t hate, but they’re equally not something he was personally in to.”

“I kept getting piercings and colouring my hair all of the colours and he still makes a point to compliment me and has grown to actually like my hair coloured!”

“You’re not vain, it’s your face and he has no right to disrespect you and give out info like that. If it was me, he’d be my ex by now.” –Carrie_Mc

“You either way shouldn’t be with a guy who thinks you’re not ‘worth the hassle’ because you’re ‘insecure’.”

“But him repeatedly commenting on something that is completely your choice, doesn’t affect him in any shape or form and frankly, is no concern of his just because he doesn’t agree with it should be a deal breaker.”

“This man doesn’t respect you at all. If I were you, I’d dump his ass in the trash along with his ‘jokes’ and ‘opinions'”

“You’re one hundred percent NTA.” –adorable__cow

“NTA.”

“What’s the joke? Make him explain what the fu*king joke is.”

“Your boyfriend is an insensitive AH and you deserve better than him.”

“You should also seek out therapy, because you shouldn’t feel like you need to alter your appearance to love yourself. You are worthy of your own love and acceptance no matter what.” –theresbeans

“NTA”

“I notice you don’t joke to strangers about his ‘shortcomings’. I guess that’s because you are a decent human being!”

“Harmless joke my ass. If someone is left feeling embarassed and no one is laughing but the one telling ‘it’, it’s not a joke.”

“Dump this piece of trash. There’s no solution for this embarassment (him). He will remain a jerk.” –Educational-Food9471

“NTA – You want someone that lifts you up, not tears you down. That was definitely not a joke. The way he made that statement was definitely harmful and directly reflects the way he views and treats you.”

“He will take your personal issues and throw them back at your face to hurt you, embarrass you, or attempt tomake you undesirable to anyone else out of spite and jealousy. He has no class.”

“If he was a jealous individual he could of just went up to the dude and said thanks I think my girlfriend looks gorgeous too or whatever.” –StormingBlitz91

Hopefully OP’s boyfriend can learn to let his girlfriend make her own choices.

Written by John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.