We’ve inevitably all had someone in our life who loved to be the center of attention, and we can all agree how painfully annoying their antics were… or are.
But their attention-seeking energy is especially frustrating when we’re in the middle of an important life event, like getting married or graduating from college, and all they can do is spin our success into attention for themselves, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor traumadump23 was sick of her sister’s attention-seeking behavior, but she was getting especially fed up with her while they were both pregnant and organizing baby showers.
When her sister kept stealing focus at her baby shower, the Original Poster (OP) decided to call her out in front of all the party guests.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for asking my sister if she’s had enough attention?”
The OP was tired of her sister’s attention-seeking behavior while they were both pregnant.
“My (30 Female) sister (36) is pregnant with her second child. Her first child, she didn’t find out the sex until she gave birth.”
“This time, she and her husband did but have decided not to tell anyone. We’ve all respected that. Like, it’s their business.”
“They have made a pretty big deal about it, constantly bringing it up and trying to bait people into asking, just so they can smile and say, ‘We know, but we’re not telling!'”
“Annoying, but we avoid talking about it.”
“They recently picked a name. As you can guess, they don’t want to tell anyone. Cool, their choice. But once again, they’re baiting for people to ask questions.”
Her attention-seeking continued even at the OP’s baby shower.
“I am also pregnant with my first. We’re not finding out the sex until birth, though we have two names picked out and have told people if they ask.”
“I had my baby shower last weekend.”
“My sister was there. She baited a few people that didn’t know her into asking her what she was having. I ignored it.”
When it was time to open gifts, the OP was done listening to her.
“Then, while opening gifts, I received two onesies. One had the name we picked out for a girl, and the other had the one for a boy.”
“My aunt explained I could hold onto the other one in case we had a second baby, or we could donate it (both are pretty common names). I thought it was so sweet.”
“My sister then said, ‘Oh, we’ve picked a name too!'”
“I already knew what would happen when a few asked what it was.”
“She smirked and said, ‘We’re not telling.'”
“I rolled my eyes and said, ‘Yeah, we know you’re not. Have you had enough attention for now?'”
“She turned red but didn’t say anything else.”
“We moved on.”
The OP’s mother lashed out at her for the comment.
“My mom later chastised me, saying I shouldn’t have called her out like that.”
“Apparently, my sister cried after.”
“I pointed out she already had her shower where she could annoy people with all that, and she doesn’t need to do it with mine.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some agreed with the OP that her sister’s behavior was incredibly annoying.
“NTA. And it doesn’t matter that it was your baby shower when it happened… you’re allowed to tell someone ENOUGH ALREADY! when they’re insufferable and immature, regardless of what’s going on at the time.”
“‘I have a secret!'”
“‘What is it?'”
“‘I’m not telling!'”
“This is a normal conversation to have… with a six-year-old… not a grown woman on her second kid. What the f**k?” – Maximum-Dealer-6208
“NTA. It was your baby shower. She had hers. It’s too bad she felt so bad about it, but it was rude to try and take the spotlight from you.”
“Also, it’s weird to mention how she has a name picked out just to say she isn’t telling. That’s… weirdly smug. And annoying. She needs to knock it off. You don’t want to tell? Stop mentioning it.” – Iggys1984
“NTA. Your sister’s behavior sounds exhausting to deal with. Isn’t it interesting how people like to turn themselves into victims when their inappropriate behaviors are called out? She’ll be alright. You did nothing wrong.” – DeeBarbs23
“NTA. Your shower is your time to go, ‘Look at me; I’m pregnant,’ and not hers. If she wants to do that, she can have another shower.”
“Based on your description of her, she sounds pretty annoying about this. Your mom should be thankful you didn’t yell at her about this.” – SockMaster9273
“NTA.”
“At your baby shower, it’s extra ‘ick’ for her to talk about her pregnancy. Your baby shower should be about you, your partner, and your baby. Not sister’s need to be seen as mysterious and special because she’s keeping the gender and name to herself. Actually, she should KEEP that to herself as well.” – sha_n0n
“NTA. You’re right that she is doing it for attention. It sounds like she is jealous you are pregnant with your first at the same time she is with the second.”
“I am sure more people are paying attention to you since it’s your first, and they are excited for you. So she and her husband have found a way to keep attention on them and their new baby. Since she isn’t getting the same attention with the second this time around.” – gramsknows
“NTA! Your sister was attempting to take attention away from your day. Clearly, your mom is enabling this behavior. Maybe, but probably not, your sister will reflect on what you said, and realize what she is doing. However, she sounds like the kind that is always sought attention and she resents sharing the spotlight with you.” – Powerful_Ad_1239
“NTA. She sounds annoying as h**l. She sounds like those people on Facebook who post about feeling down or needing inspiration or feeling hurt by betrayal or whatever drama, and then people ask what is going on, and they say, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.'”
“You could always start throwing out ridiculous names. Craigothy. Jimiffer. Shlabethany. Stevory. Brangelina. Or exclusively names of your sister’s and brother-in-law’s worst exes!” – OIWantKenobi
“NTA. This day was about you and your husband. No need to be in the spotlight for your sister.”
“You might have been more considerate and told her in private without anyone listening, though; that was a bit rude, but she can’t expect your kindness while being rude herself.” – SirLunchALot1993
But others agreed with the OP’s mother and encouraged her not to make another scene.
“YTA. Why public shaming? You grinned and bore it for how many times and waited to say something until you had an audience. Your sister is definitely enjoying baiting people, but if you want her to stop, pull her aside. Don’t chastise sarcastically in front of an audience.” – Bootiebloot
“You get two judgments in one comment, one from me (no children) and one from my mom (obv has children).”
“Mom’s Opinion: YTA. You overreacted. A lot of the fun of pregnancy for some people is playing little games like that, and it hardly takes away from you. If you’re annoyed with your sister, you should speak to her privately.”
“My Opinion: ESH. Your sister for being annoying during your shower. You for making it into a bigger deal than it had to be and then doubling down about it.” – Ahumblethief
“YTA. But Only back to your sister. And only because she’s an AH. Don’t get me wrong, she can behave however she likes. Just within this context, it was wrong and obviously sibling-competitive to do it at Your baby shower.”
“If she’d been saying she’d picked out a new car, and when folks asked what model, she smirked, ‘I’m not telling,’ that’d be crazy, but somehow she thinks her line of baby name/sex baiting is okay and cutesy.”
“So to be clear, OP is NTA. But delivered an appropriate response to her AH-sister. Which is just balancing the scales, as far as I’m concerned.” – gordiesgoodies
“YTA. I have never understood this new trend of insulting women by saying they are ‘wanting attention.’ Even if she wants attention, who does that hurt?”
“You need to sort through your feelings here and figure out why your sister playing coy actually bothers you. Because her ‘wanting attention’ has no impact on you whatsoever unless you’re upset because you’re wanting attention that she has.” – No_Subject3053
“YTA and I can’t believe how many votes say otherwise. If this sub was ‘Am I the Annoying One?’ subReddit, then no, absolutely not. Your sister is being annoying as h**l. Rude, even. But she’s not ultimately hurting anyone and so publicly ridiculing her is really low and I’m not surprised she cried.”
“If you want to handle it like a grown adult, you privately talk to her calmly afterward, like, ‘Hey, I just need you to know I felt hurt when you…’ and you talk it out. Public derision isn’t the answer. So again, YTA.” – newamor
“YTA for disliking something your sister does and instead of addressing it, you snap when it’s too much. Mind you, people can be dense and it might be the first time she realized she was being annoying. Give the benefit of the doubt to people you love.” – GeorgesKoizumi
“I’m going to go with YTA. With the caveat that I don’t know the tone, etc.”
“It sounds like you are just generally annoyed with her at this point. Maybe that has been all your life, maybe it’s just because you are pregnant, who knows. But it sounds like it’s not shocking that people who didn’t know her, and saw a visibly pregnant woman would ask her questions.”
“What are you naming your children isn’t exactly something that you need to be baited into asking.”
“I fully acknowledge that it could be one of those situations where the tone and stuff makes all the difference, but how it’s written, it just sounds like you are being needlessly mean.” – cuervoguy2002
Everyone could agree that the OP’s sister was being incredibly annoying by drawing attention to herself and also baiting people to seek out information that she had no intention of providing them.
But some wondered if the OP was right to stoop to her sister’s level by calling her out in front of the baby shower. She was already annoyed that her sister was seeking attention, and all she did was place more attention on her, albeit negative and possibly judgmental.