There are few feelings worse than thinking someone doesn’t or can’t trust you, or fearing that we aren’t able to trust someone close to us.
Even so, occasionally, something someone might have said or done might make others suspicious, and investigate if we were up to something.
Most of the time, their suspicions are entirely unfounded, but every now and again, they might discover that they had every right not to trust us.
Redditor lyingwifedog and their daughter were both distraught to hear from her husband that their beloved dog had run away.
Thankfully, their dog was eventually found, but the place where their dog was discovered led the original poster (OP) to suspect that her husband wasn’t being completely honest with her.
As a result, she did a little digging, making a shocking discovery about her husband.
When her husband scolded her for going behind his back, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for checking my husband’s dashcam footage on his car without his consent?”
The OP explained why she felt the need to check her husband’s dashcam footage after his story about their runaway dog didn’t quite add up.
“I (34 F[emale]) live with my husband (37 M[ale]) and daughter (7 F[emale]).”
“My daughter and I recently went on a short trip out of state while my husband stayed as he had work and was supposed to look after our dog.”
“On the last day of our trip we got a call from my husband who was acting distraught and said that our dog Ellie had run away and that he could not find her.”
“He claimed she just bolted away from him in the park, into some bushes and he could not find her.”
“Our dog is quite small, a mini poodle mix and almost 13 years old, she is still active but it is really unlike her to run away from us and I was suspicious but chose to believe my husband and me and my daughter were in grief but did not want to blame him.”
“When we came back home, he seemed surprisingly ok unlike us.”
“Ever since the pandemic, my husband started working from home and he has always been annoyed at how much attention we gave Ellie and hated how Ellie begged to sit on our laps and his while he worked.”
“A few days later we got a call from an animal rescue in a neighboring state quite far from us that she had been found.”
“I picked the phone and it was on our landline which we almost never use these days but was the contact on the microchip.”
“I told my husband and he just said ‘that is great, I am so happy’ but it felt kind of blunt and insincere.”
“I said it is strange that she got so far and he responded that someone must have stolen her and then abandoned her.”
“This made little sense to me as to why that would happen.”
“When he was out drinking with his buddies, I copied the videos from his dashcam for the days I was away and saw that he had indeed taken Ellie far out of state, and clearly dropped her in front of his car thrown a frisbee like object into a field, yelled fetch and drove off without her.”
“I was livid and confronted him and he just stupidly muttered how he dropped her there so she could find a farm and have a better life and then the next day got really angry at me for viewing his dashcam and called me an my daughter AHs.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for checking her husband’s dashcam footage.
Horrified by her husband’s actions, the Reddit community agreed that the OP’s husband also deserved to be driven out of state and abandoned, or at the very least, the OP had more than credible grounds for divorce.
“NTA.”
“It’s animal cruelty and if he called your 7 y/o an ah you need to start filing for divorce.”- Stunning-Evening-585
“NTA.”
“I personally would straight up divorce him.”
“My dogs are my family.”
“Then he turns around and gets mad and calls you names.”
“That’s the same tactic that cheaters use when their significant other finds something.” Trying the ol’ uno reverso on you.”- Janellewpg
“NTA.”
“Run.”
“Really, OP, I don’t know what else to say.”
“He drove out of state to dump your senior dog.”
“He called you and your seven-year-old daughter a**holes.”
“If your dog is still in the home with you, move her to a friend or family’s.”
“Like, tonight.”- JhihnX
“NTA.”
“Keep a copy of the footage as evidence.”- WhiteJadedButterfly
“Wow.”
“NTA.”
“You had a gut feeling and were absolutely right.”
“This is horrible.”
“What your husband did is SICK and cruel.”
“He left an innocent animal to die.”
“Obviously what you do now is up to you.”
“But if it were me, I would never be able to trust him again.”
“The entire relationship would be ruined.”
“He needs to seek therapy if he is so insecure that he is jealous of a dog.”
“Pathetic excuse for a man.”- Deep-Manner-4111
“Leave his a** immediately.”
“He abandons a 13-year-old dog in a field to fend for itself?”
“Unforgivable.”- angie50576
“NTA, he abandoned a family member.”
“My dad did this shit to us as a kid with one of our dogs he didn’t like, and I still haven’t forgiven him.”
“I hope he realizes how f*cked up this was.”
“All I’ll say is that someone with thar little empathy and willingness to lie might be doing more behind your back than you realize.”- Athenacosplay
“NTA.”
“This is a dealbreaker for me.”
“I would never look at him the same way again.”
“Nor would I trust him.”- stfrances2968
“Glad to see in the comments you’re getting a lawyer.”
“Make sure you have copies of that video saved in multiple places.”
“What an awful thing to do to a dog.”
“And you.”
“And your daughter.”
“NTA.”
“Obviously.”- Substantial_Home_257
“NTA.”
“Keep your dog and daughter and leave the husband in another state to find another family he’d have a better life with.”- GardenSafe8519
“He called a 7-year-old an ah?”
“What’s she got to do with any of this?”
“Is she his kid?”
“Cuz if not, you should probably rethink your relationship.”
“I call my kids ahs.”
“But not in the sense that they actually ARE.”
“They just do ah things sometimes cuz they’re feral.”
“Also, he’s jealous of a 13-year-old dog.”
“This guy super sucks.”
“NTA.”- Agitated-Jaguar3012
“NTA.”
“Your husband did something immensely cruel, and it sounds like he planned it — poorly– and now he’s deflecting by calling you and your [kid[ AHs.”
“My ex-brother-in-law did that to my dog over 40 years ago.”
“I haven’t forgiven him yet.”- sarpon6
“NTA.”
“What a horrible action, very scary stuff to be so abusive and callous toward a living creature, and then the elaborate lies.”
“You picked up on signs of deception and then confirmed with evidence.”
“Even if he were innocent, driving records hardly deserve as much privacy as phone records.”
“Absolutely NTA.”
“Husband is scary.”- heathenz
“Just FYI, pets that are dumped don’t find a nice little ranch to go live on.”
“They get hit by cars. They get attacked by other animals, they starve to death because they don’t know how to find food, they get shot by farmers who don’t want stray dogs on their property.”
“Your husband had a very good chance of killing that dog, and I am so glad everything turned out okay because it usually doesn’t.”
“Thank you for being smart and getting rid of him, obviously NTA.”- ReplacementOptimal15
‘To put this bluntly:”
“He lied.”
“He, as a human being, treated an animal with abhorrent cruelty.”
“He LIED.”
“He took a beloved pet not only of yours ( I mean 13 yr old pet – has some serious loving and attachment from those who love her and TO those who love her).”
“but, more importantly of your 7 yr old CHILD who has grown up with Ellie and would cause unimaginable pain to her by losing her”
“And DUMPED her in the middle of nowhere to die.”
“What father DOES this sh*t?”
“A narcissistic jerk of an excuse for a father.”
“5.. HE LIED!”
“The slimy weasel needs to be served and given his marching orders.”
“See a lawyer.”
“He clearly has zero morals, zero compassion, zero empathy, and ZERO reliability going forward.”
“You’re not the a**hole, but you already know that.”
“Make the right decision.”
“Protect your child.”- Miakki
It’s hard to imagine what is more shocking, that the OP’s husband could do such a reprehensible thing as leave their dog in a field and lie to his wife and daughter, or that he would have the audacity to call his wife and daughter a**holes for checking the dashcam footage and catching him red-handed.
The OP’s husband might want to start looking for apartments.
Judging by this story, if the OP and her daughter were forced to choose between him or the dog, the answer seems pretty obvious.