We all have movies, books, and other entertainment that we love, and we’ll often find ways to represent that love, like clothing, merchandise, and special editions of our favorite books and films.
But naming children after characters might not be the best way to represent our favorite fandoms, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
When Redditor New-Fail849 first heard that her younger sister was planning to name her future baby girl after a character from her favorite fantasy book series, she knew that her sister would learn to regret it.
So when her niece came to hate her name as a tween, the Original Poster (OP) couldn’t help but tell her sister, “I told you so.”
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for telling my sister ‘I told you so’ because her tween daughter hates her name?”
The OP tried to warn her sister about the name she had chosen for her future baby.
“I (32 Female) have been having a bit of drama with my younger sister Ramona (30 Female) about her daughter, Egwene (11 Female).”
“Yes, dear reader, that is my niece’s real name and is the root of the issue.”
“Now, I love my younger sister, and we’ve always gotten along pretty well. However, she has always been into nerdy pop culture stuff, she plays D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) weekly, loves Marvel Movies, and is obsessed with fantasy novels. Her favorite, as you may have guessed, is ‘The Wheel of Time’ series.”
“Now I know next to nothing about this series, but I knew enough to know that ‘Egwene al’Vere’ wasn’t a name she came up with on her own.”
“When she announced that was the name she had chosen for her future daughter, there was a bit of confusion and disapproval from the family, but no one strongly pushed back on it.”
“That honor went to me. I tried to approach the subject calmly; I even gave her the ‘You’re naming a human being’ speech; but she said she knew best.”
“After a brief back and forth, I flat-out told her that her daughter was going to get bullied.”
“She blew up at me, and I didn’t push the issue any further because I could see that she wouldn’t budge.”
The OP’s sister later couldn’t understand why she and her daughter were arguing.
“Fast forward to now, and Gwen is a happy and healthy 11-year-old girl. However, she has been voicing lately that she hates her name.”
“The teachers at school always get it wrong, and her classmates tease her constantly. None of this is helped by the fact that Ramona insists on calling her Egwene al’Vere, not just Egwene or Gwen, which she much prefers.”
“Well, the two of them have been bickering a lot lately. Ramona has tried venting that Egwene won’t shut up about her name, and she doesn’t know what she’s gonna do about her.”
“I kind of sarcastically said, ‘If only someone had warned you.'”
“She asked what I meant.”
“I said she named her daughter something stupid and now she was facing the consequences.”
“She said she didn’t know why she even bothered coming to me and she should have known I was just gonna be a b***h.”
“I told her if she had put more thought into naming her child, she wouldn’t be in this situation.”
After the argument, the OP’s sister decided the OP was a bad influence on her daughter.
“Well, she decided Egwene can’t come over to my house anymore because I’m ‘putting bad thoughts into her head.'”
“She’s also roped in our mother who agreed with me about the name, but said it was a low blow to bring up that I had warned her and that I should just suck it up and apologize.”
“I don’t think I need to apologize, but thought I should get an outside opinion.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP her sister had brought this drama on herself.
“Ah, if it’s not the consequences of her own actions. She 100% brought this upon herself and did deserve a satisfying ‘I told you so.'”
“She should have handled it with grace and been like, ‘Yeah, I guess you were right,’ and moved on. But no, she can’t handle the fact that she made a bad choice and now has to suffer the consequences so she is taking it out on you.”
“Your sister sounds insufferable. It might be worth it to apologize just for your niece’s sake though. But do so with the full satisfaction, that you were right, did nothing wrong, and she is being a big baby.” – Trixie_BBW
“NTA. Id**ts deserve to be told, ‘I told you so.’ Your mother is only shutting up now because she doesn’t want to be next on the banned list. Weak and no conviction at all.”
“Lucky for your niece she can change her name to whatever she wants and ask people to call her whatever she wants. My MIL and her sister go by their middle names. Went to school with about eight John/Jonathan’s, and most used other names.” – KindaNewRoundHere
“Whenever a teacher/sub/etc. asks about the name? ‘My mom is an absolute id**t about the ‘Wheels of Time’ series. Everyone told her not to but she just HAD to name me AFTER A CHARACTER IN A BOOK. And not just any character, but one with a horrible name. That’s my mom. Thankfully, it’s close enough to Gwen that I can just go by that. I can’t help that my mom was an id**t but I can at least get a usable nickname!'”
“Gwen needs to verbally throw her mom under the bus. Why? It will help prevent bullying. Her name is stupid, she knows it’s stupid, she’s laying the blame squarely on her mom for the stupid name, so what are they going to make fun of? The name, that she’s already TOLD them she agrees is dumb?”
“Her mom, that she’s already TOLD them is an id**t about her name? Take the wind out of their sails and make them find themselves agreeing with her instead of targeting her, it’ll make things much easier.” – maroongrad
“Nope, she had it coming. NTA.”
“I understand liking a name from a fantasy book/movie or whatever else but she fails to acknowledge how it’ll affect her daughter in the future. I bet she will change her name when she turns 18.” – snookz90
“H**l, she’s not even the one truly living with the consequences! She’s refusing to even acknowledge her daughter hates the name by making a point of publicly calling her by her full name. I honestly see this ending a lot worse than just the kiddo changing their name at 18.”
“Nothing to make you resent your parents like their refusal to see you as a human with your own problems and social hardships that could have easily been dealt with by not being a selfish prick in the first place and their continued denial of the problem when the child literally states the problem to them.” – Substantial_Key4202
“Regardless of what you’ve legally named your child, if they seriously want to be called something else, then you should respect that. A name is a huge aspect of identity and one’s self.”
“If the daughter wants to go by Gwen or even a middle name then the parents should respect that. A child is a human with thoughts and feelings, not a living doll to be dressed and paraded.”
“NTA.” – Dropthetenors
Others agreed and encouraged the OP to do what she could to stay in her niece’s life.
“It sounds like the OP’s niece may need a safe place to vent and talk. Sounds like grandma is going to side with dumba** mom.”
“It’s sad that OP is the only one with a spine in this family. Maybe if everyone had collectively shamed her from the start, it would have prevented years of suffering for niece.” – Rowana133
“NTA. I would consider apologizing ONLY so that you can keep in contact with your niece.”
“Please know you did nothing wrong. I hate the ‘be the bigger person’ concept, but there is an 11-year-old girl who could probably use your support.” – Mysterious-Choice568
“I have had to ‘play nice’ with my brother to stay in my niece’s life (her mom died when she was seven and she calls me her Aunt Mom). My brother is like your sister and has used my niece as leverage against me.”
“Your niece needs you to be someone she can be herself with. Since your sister refuses to be an adult, you have to be one.” – opshleen
“At the rate Mommie Dearest is going, Gwen will most likely change her name and go no contact once she’s 18. OP should hold firm and just make the most out of seeing her niece at family functions or calling and texting her, assuming Gwen has her own phone.”
“If or when Gwen has social media, OP can talk to her there as well. It’s important for Gwen to see people standing up for her and standing up to Mommie Dearest.”
“Modeling healthy boundaries and having a strong backbone is important for children, especially young girls.” – Electronic_Struggle8
“Sometimes you have to be the bigger person to be there for someone.”
“I love Final Fantasy. While I’m childless, I wouldn’t even use one of the more normal names on a kid. I did name my dog after the wolf at 16 because she looks almost identical.”
“But it’s a dog. Weird names work. Don’t do that to a kid.” – Alycion
A few even suggested saving for a gift for her niece’s eighteenth birthday now.
“NTA. Kids aren’t billboards for a person’s fandom. Your sister is an id**t, and I hope your niece legally changes her name as soon as she turns 18.” – BalloonHero142
“That’s a child that is going to pay to legally change their name when they turn 18.”
“If you want to be a good aunt, I’d look into, get all the info and paperwork, and the money for it for her 18th birthday.” – Affectionate_Gas_150
“Best. Birthday. Gift. EVER.” – fly1away
“Can you imagine the sister’s look on her face when OP hands poor Gwen an envelope with everything needed to change her name?” – No_Efficiency_9979
“Do this, but give it to her privately. At any family celebration, give her a more public gift that won’t send her mother into another fit.” – Fenig
“I mean, it really just depends on how petty you want to be. I’d pay to have a lawyer who does this kind of stuff jump out of a giant cake at her 18th birthday holding a beautifully wrapped bundle of paperwork. But that’s just me.” – Impressive_Bus11
“That is genuinely the best gift idea for an 18-year-old. Make a card with a QR code or some s**t, lol (laughing out loud).” – TwoIndependent3006
“Be warned, though, this will probably be the nuclear option for your relationship with your sister, at least if you make it anything other than a quiet arrangement between you and your niece.” – Karcharos
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update.
“This blew up way more than I thought it would; I kind of wrote this just to vent. I appreciate everyone’s input. I had a lot of good advice, a lot bad advice, and some downright weird advice.”
“But I have come to the conclusion I am going to apologize to my sister for my timing and my tone. But I won’t apologize for saying Egwene is a bad name and will make it clear I support my niece over everything.”
“A lot of you suggested setting up a fund for a name change if she wants one at 18, and I think that’s a great idea. I looked it up and to file is about $80 in my state, but I’m sure it’ll be far more than that by then.”
“I’m gonna set aside $200 for now and add to it when I can. Hopefully, it’ll be a nice little whatever-fund when she turns 18.”
The OP also clarified a few points from her original post.
“I just wanted to answer some questions and clear up some things.”
“My sister pronounces her daughter’s name as ‘Eh-Gwen Al Ver-Ray.’ I don’t have the slightest idea how it was originally intended to be pronounced.”
“My sister isn’t abusive or neglectful, nor do I think she’s narcissistic. She is a responsible parent and loves her daughter deeply; she just has poor taste. I talk to my niece regularly and she usually spends the weekend at my house twice a month. she’s never brought up any issues with her mom other than the name.”
“My niece’s father was never in the picture. We have a few ideas of who might be the father, but my sister has never confirmed any of them.”
“I have never told my niece I dislike her name; I don’t even mention it unless I’m sure she’s not in the same building as me. I have told her that she doesn’t have to like her name, and I’ll call her Gwen because that’s what she prefers.”
“I am a woman, there were quite a few comments calling me a big brother which I thought was pretty funny. I’m also a mother to a five-year-old girl to all the people saying I don’t know how hard it is to be a mother. My daughter’s name is Callie if anyone is curious; feel free to judge me, lol (laughing out loud).”
The subReddit was shocked that the sister had chosen such an obviously fantastical name for her daughter, let alone the full version of the name instead of a shortened version.
The book series might be important to her, but her daughter wasn’t meant to be a walking, talking rendition of her favorite fandom, but rather a person growing into her own identity, regardless of her name.