My house, my rules.
That has always been a standard when discussing being a guest in one’s home.
When we stay at another person’s home we’re obligated to not make them feel ill at ease.
They’re doing us the favor.
Apparently some people lost that memo.
Case in point…
Redditor Princessleiawastaken wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for walking around in my underwear when my brother & SIL stay with me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (24 F[emale]) am an I[ntensive] C[are] U[nit] R[egistered] N[urse] working with patients suffering from a wide variety of communicable diseases (MRSA, C-Diff, COVID, etc).”
“It’s inevitable that some germs get on my clothes so I take off my scrubs the minute I get in the house.”
“I come in through a laundry room, take off my clothes down to bra and underwear, and put the scrubs directly in the washing machine.”
“This week my brother (30 M[ale]) and S[ister] I[ln] L[aw] (30 F) are staying at my house because their landlord decided to redo the floors at theirs.”
“It was inconvenient for the landlord to do these loud renovations because both my brother and SIL work from home and need to be on business calls.”
“Staying with me has helped them a lot.”
“However, there was an issue when I came home from work the other day.”
“I took off my clothes in the laundry room like always and walked down the hall, past the living room, and into my bedroom in my underwear/bra like I always do.”
“My brother and SiL looked horrified.”
“When I got re-dressed and came out of my room my SIL had locked herself in her room and my brother was pissed off.”
“He yelled at me for ‘walking around naked’ in front of them.”
“I explained to him why and pointed out I was not naked, I was wearing a bra and underwear.”
“My brother said that’s the same as being naked.”
“I said it’s not, and the bra/underwear are less revealing than some of the bathing suits they’d seen me wear without complaint.”
“He said it’s ‘different’ when it’s a bathing suit vs. underwear.”
“I asked if the different fabric makes him uncomfortable, he told me not to be a smarta**.”
“It’s everyday non-sexy underwear.”
“It’s not like I was wearing lingerie.”
“It’s plain black underwear and a basic bra.”
“My brother told me I should apologize to my SIL for making her uncomfortable and not do it again.”
“He likened it to the crime of flashing!”
“I laughed because that was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard.”
“There was no sexual aspect.”
“Would he rather I spread COVID around the house?”
“He told me to keep a change of clothes in the laundry room and get dressed in there.”
“I told him this is my house, I’ll do what I want.”
“He told our parents.”
“They sided with him.”
“Saying it’s too uncomfortable for a brother to see his sister in underwear.”
“I pointed out that when we were teenagers he would walk around the house in just boxers all the time!”
“I was showing less skin than he was and I actually had reason.”
“My brother said it’s different because he’s a guy.”
“Tonight when I got home from work, I got undressed in the laundry room and walked through the house to my room in my bra/underwear.”
“My brother stomped off.”
“SIL is giving me the silent treatment.”
“My mom is begging me to just change in the laundry room to placate them despite acknowledging that I’m not naked, it’s nothing sexual.”
“I’m the one who actually lives here, and it’s a sexist societal expectation.”
“I still think this is ridiculous.”
“Am I the a**hole?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. It’s weird to me (and I’m in anesthesia) that ICU nurses don’t get hospital scrubs like we do.”
“I never launder my own – I pick them up at the locker room in the morning and dump them there in the evening.”
“It’s so much more hygienic – for staff and for patients.”
“I definitely believe the OP that she buys and launders her own scrubs.”
“Plenty of hospitals are like this and even ones with scrub services only include certain areas (like the OR).”
“I still think it’s bad hospital policy for staff and patients and the public to have contaminated scrubs being worn to and from.” ~ chzsteak-in-paradise
“Brother and SIL indeed have an issue.”
“An issue where they think catching what is potentially on OP’s workwear, or inconveniencing OP in her own home, is more acceptable than OP’s comfort… in her own home.”
“OP is NTA, and would still be NTA if she said to go sleep on Mom’s couch until the renovations are done.”
“The entitlement from brother and SIL is astounding here.” ~ RedditKentiar
“Just for fun, I would buy the tiniest bikini I could find and wear it under my scrubs one day.”
“When I got home, I would take off my scrubs and just walk around in my swimsuit for awhile.”
“Because that’s not offensive to them lolol!! NTA.” ~ MyMurphy2018
“I was gonna say the same thing!”
“If she changes into clothes or a robe in the laundry room, they’ll just have the same germs spread onto them.”
“Plus, I know the annoyance of having to change in a different room than your bedroom that holds all your s**t.”
“I HATE IT!”
“If I forgot to bring my clothes with me when I went to shower and had to walk the short distance to my bedroom with a big towel around me.”
“My brother and SIL wouldn’t freak out and self-isolate.”
“Passive aggressive drama queen is what OP’s SIL is, I can’t stand that.”
“I’d understand them being uncomfortable or awkward, even though when you go into it, it doesn’t make much sense.”
“I’m teaching my son and daughter the same things, and they’re being raised with the same rules because f**k these double standards.”
“But I can even understand why some would be uncomfortable because of what society has taught for so long.”
“It doesn’t give them the right to treat her like this, however.”
“Especially considering she’s doing them a favor and they’re in her home.”
“They’re the AH for how they’ve acted, and how they’ve treated OP.”
“I’d be uncomfortable if my SIL walked through the house in her underwear, but the reason behind it makes so much sense.”
“I’d rather get a text for a heads up that she’s home.”
“And either not look or go in my room for a bit, than catch any of the crap that gets on those scrubs all day.”
“If they can’t deal and want to be this immature and disrespectful, they can go back to their own house.”
“Or better yet, since brother wants to run to mommy because OP isn’t caving to his demands, they can go crash on their parent’s couch.” ~ AsdefronAsh
“NTA. It’s your house.”
“You’re doing them a favor.”
“A huge part of your daily routine is NOT BRINGING MRSA INTO THE HOUSE.”
“The house that you are letting them share.”
“‘Underwear is the name as being naked.'” [pause] “‘Nakedness it is, then!'”
“If they’d been wonderful to you and phrased it as a timid request, I’d say ‘What would it hurt to throw a bathrobe on?'”
“But they were so pushy and indignant that I want to come over and walk around in my underwear with you.”
“Kind of do a pincer approach so no matter where they look there’s a pair of ti**ies coming at them.” ~ onmyknees4anyone
“Maybe start shouting ‘naked lady on parade’ right before you exit the laundry room so they can pull sacks over their heads or run and hide?”
“Oooo, or change into one of your more revealing bathing suits in the laundry room.”
“And then go into the living area and chat like nothing was up.
NTA.” ~ AdministrationThis77
“NTA. Your practice is very pragmatic.”
“They are staying in your home.”
“If they don’t like it, they can look the other way.”
“Plus, running to your parents to tattle is just silly.”
“Your mom needs to mind her own business or take them in while their place is being remodeled.” ~ sbh56
“I love how when you pointed out the boxer situation it’s fine because ‘he’s a guy.'”
“Double standards are ridiculous.
“You need to tell them if it makes them that uncomfortable they can get a hotel room.”
“It’s your house and you’re doing them a favor by letting them stay.”
“They don’t have to be there. NTA.” ~ coxa8c
“Bless your heart.”
“But regarding the clothing situation, tell them to fuck off.”
“I’m an ICU nurse, also strip in my laundry room and walk through the house to my room.”
“During the height of covid I stripped in my backyard before even coming in.”
“It’s your house, and it’s not like you are walking through naked. NTA.” ~ MountainTomato9292
First of all OP… thank you for doing the job you do.
Reddit is with you.
Your house, your rules… especially since it’s for health safety reasons.
Good luck.