No two people respond to nicknames the same way.
Some nicknames are bestowed on people out of ridicule or mockery, and as such, people tend to wish people would stick to addressing them by their given name.
Other times, nicknames are given to one another out of love and affection, resulting in people having trouble addressing each other as anything else.
Even if these names might be met with confusion by those unfamiliar with the context.
Redditor throwawaypartydad recently hosted a party to which one of her friends came with her boyfriend.
Little did the original poster (OP) know that this friend had a somewhat unusual nickname for her boyfriend.
A nickname that made the OP and just about everyone else in attendance fairly uncomfortable.
When the OP mentioned this to her friend, it did not go over well, resulting in the OP feeling that there was only one thing to do.
Having second thoughts about her decision, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for kicking a girl out of my party for calling her boyfriend ‘daddy?'”
The OP shared how she felt the way her friend was addressing her boyfriend was bringing down the mood of her party.
“I (24 F[emale]) was hosting a small-scale hangout with about 15 friends. One girl (23 F) is an acquaintance of mine, and she came with her boyfriend.”
“We were all sitting around in the main room and eating pizza when she came to sit and sat on her boyfriend’s lap.”
“A little weird since there were open seats, but I didn’t say anything.”
“While we were talking as a group, she would always refer to her boyfriend as ‘daddy.’”
“She would interject with things like ‘daddy just bought me a new stand mixer’ and ‘daddy looks so handsome in this shirt right! I told him to get it!'”
“At first, we thought she was joking or messing with us, but she continued doing it, and the rest of us were side-eyeing each other and were kind of uncomfortable.”
“I asked her if she could save the pet names for home because some of us were feeling uncomfortable.”
“She got upset and told me to stop making such a big deal over a nickname and slut-shaming her.”
“I told her that wasn’t my intention at all, but I would appreciate it if she could stop because it was killing the vibe.”
“She started ranting at me about a whole lot of stuff, and I just told her and her boyfriend to please leave.”
“Her boyfriend was pissed too, but they eventually got out.”
“The rest of the evening was less uncomfortable and way more peaceful (a few of my friends who didn’t know the girl I kicked thanked me for making her leave), but we all felt kind of awkward because of what happened.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for asking her friend to leave.
Everyone agreed that the OP had every right to ask her friend to go, as they found her behavior inappropriate and unsettling.
“Maybe daddy will punish her for ruining their social outing.”
“NTA.”- fionalorne
“NTA.”
“This kinda sounds like a kink, and it’s not cool to subject others to your kinks without consent.”-ProximaCentauriB15
“NTA.”
“The instant jump to ‘slutshaming’ makes me think it’s a part of their kink.”
“Fine and good for them to do role play and get all kinky, but bringing it into a party involves everyone there in their kink without consent, and indeed despite the clear lack of consent.”-BitterDoGooder
“NTA.”
“Is not a nickname, is a kink.”
“Kinks go to the bedroom, not in public.”- Effective_Shallot948
“NTA.”
“The girl failed at being a good guest at your party.”
“She was informed politely to save the pet names for home.”
“Then, she said you were slut-shaming her.”
“Interesting choice of thought from her, yes?”
“That she assumed you’re not liking the pet name ‘daddy’ was slut-shaming?”
“Sounds like someone believes they are acting like one, and it’s not you.”
“Then she started ranting and being a total AH.”
“She deserved to be booted from the party.”
“And I assume you won’t be inviting her to any other parties after the drama she created at this one.”
Rule 1 of being a good guest is to respect the hosts’ requests.”
“She refused to do that.”
“So insisting she leaves is NTA.”- bmyst70
“NTA.”
“If you just kicked her out without explaining this to her, it’d be different.”
“But you told her she was making people uncomfortable, and she didn’t care.”
“She has to go.”- jrm1102
“NTA.”
“She has forced her kinks onto you without your consent.”
“Making your party an overt part of their sexual relationship.”
“You do not have to tolerate this.”- Shark1927
“She told on herself, right there.”
“She feels insecure about her sexuality, which is why she feels the need to parade it around at a party in the hopes that people will validate her.”
“As soon as everyone (rightfully) got uncomfortable, her worst insecurities were confirmed, and she had a meltdown.”
“People keep confusing ‘tolerance for alternative sexualities’ with ‘yeah, I’m totally fine witnessing this with my own two eyes in a public setting.’”
“Telling someone ‘I don’t want to see or hear about your sex life’ is not the same as telling them ‘you should be ashamed of your sex life.’”
“And it’s obvious that there’s a kinky component to her calling him daddy.”
“NTA.”- RatchedAngle
“NTA.”
“Your party.”
“What you say goes.”- crotch_lake
“NTA, although the title is misleading.”
“You didn’t kick her out for calling her bf ‘daddy’; you kicked her out because she started yelling at you in your own home when you politely asked her to stop using the nickname (of a potentially sexual nature) as it was making everyone uncomfortable.”- DragonMaster7433
“NTA.”
“They brought you and all your other guests in to witness sexual behavior/speech you never consented to.”
“Whether it is a kink or not, that’s not acceptable.”
“You even asked politely initially, and they did not respect that boundary.”
“It would make most people uncomfortable to be around them because it’s just weird.”- Accurate-Tell8
“NTA.”
“She needs to learn not to involve people in her kink involuntarily.”- Possible_Thief
“NTA.”
“It is your party.”
“At first, you didn’t really ask her to leave.”
“You politely just asked her to use the nickname somewhere else.”
“You did not slut shame her.”
“Yet she got so defensive and accused you of doing so.”
“She was the one who caused a scene.”
“And yes, ‘daddy’ to address a BF is just plain weird.”- HannahPoppyMommy
“NTA.”
“It’s not slut shaming. It’s the fact that nobody else consents to her kink.”- Amazing_Excuse_3860
“NTA.”
“Nobody cares if you have sex, but pet names, especially in that vein, are a kink, and plenty of people don’t want a kink in a public setting. It very much feels like they’re projecting onto the people around them and getting off on the voyeuristic nature of it all.”
“I personally wouldn’t want to feel like I was a part of that. You were not wrong for asking some MFs to act normal.”- ScottishMachine
“NTA, she shouldn’t have involved unwilling bystanders in her kinks, especially when repeatedly told that she was making people uncomfortable around her.”
“People like this give the kink community a bad name.”- Silansi
“NTA.”
“She was using a pretty controversial nickname for her bf and just reading this, it feels like she was pulling you into a kink dynamic the way she was going on with it and the accusation of slut shaming.”- Slight_Asparagus4150
“NTA.”
“It’s pretty commonly considered that ‘daddy’ is kink specific and not just a cute pet name.”
“By using it in a social setting, they are pulling the people around them into their dynamic without consent.”
“There are plenty of places that specifically exist where people are safe to play at scenes and dynamics without it being an issue for those around them.”
“They need to do better, fake sh*t like this where they clearly haven’t bothered to do their research and just wanna play 50 shades dress up makes the community look bad.”- gemma5691
“They knew what they were doing.”
“I guarantee it was all part of an elaborate foreplay.”
“NTA.”- Blucola333
“NTA.”
“It’s more than a nickname if she’s saying you are ‘slut shaming’ her, and people shouldn’t force their kinks onto other people (who are not into it).”- Particular-Try5584
What the OP’s friend and her boyfriend do and call each other in private is completely up to them.
This and the way she behaved when the OP tried to ask her to stop using the nickname diplomatically makes it pretty clear that she won’t be invited to any future parties hosted by the OP or anyone in attendance.
From the sound of it, it also seems fairly clear that she won’t be missed.