As the classic song goes, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!”
However, there are very few situations where that logic is ever justified.
In fact, unless the party’s honoree is crying tears of joy, if they invited others to celebrate a special occasion with them, or are being thrown a party by others to celebrate them, then they should be on their best behavior.
Redditor CricketApart2018 wasn’t particularly excited to attend a recent party her older sister threw, for personal reasons.
After her sister threw an all out tantrum at this party, the original poster (OP) wasted no time in leaving the party.
A move which was very much noticed by her sister, and equally unappreciated.
Wondering if she was being insensitive to her sister’s feelings, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for walking out of my sister’s baby gender reveal party?”
The OP explained why she wasted no time in bolting from her sister’s gender reveal party:
“My sister (37 F[emale]) is expecting her first child and she decided to throw a gender reveal party to find out if they were having a boy or girl.”
“We’re not that close.”
“She’s a decade older than me (27 F) and we’re very different people so it’s not a great combo.”
“Plus my sister can be kind of spoiled and entitled.”
“But still we’re family and I knew my family would expect me to be there for this occasion so we (husband was also invited) went.”
“Some brief background.”
“I have been pregnant four times but I have no living children.”
“Three ended in miscarriage.”
“One ended with my baby being stillborn.”
“My stillborn child should be 1 now.”
“But we don’t get to see them grow up.”
“My husband and I have taken a break to heal so we can be healthy parents if we are lucky enough to have more children.”
“When we got there it looked very much like they knew they were having a girl.”
“There was so much pink.”
“SO much.”
“No blue.”
“Which left us wondering why the gender reveal.”
“When the time came for the reveal everyone found out my sister is expecting a boy.”
“Her reaction was the reason I left.”
“She got so hysterical and furious and she cursed and screamed that she wanted a girl, she was supposed to be having a girl and who the f*ck was punishing her this way.”
“Her husband looked equally upset by the reveal.”
“I heard him say it was all bs and what a waste.”
“My sister’s temper tantrum saddened me and honestly sickened me as someone who would do anything for a child to raise.”
“So we quietly left.”
“But it was noticed.”
“My sister asked what the hell we ran off for without comforting her, and I told her I could not.”
“That her reaction was not something I could understand.”
“She told me to save her from the outrage, and how dare I judge her when she has every right to be upset. Her dream has ended, and she’s now left figuring out what to do with a boy.”
“I told her, given the losses I had faced, I could not understand, and I ended the call.”
“She texted me saying I was a terrible sister.”
“Then my parents called me to say I should have stayed and waited for any feelings until after.”
“They also told me I should just be there for my sister now.”
“That she’s going through something I don’t understand.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for bailing on her sister’s gender reveal party.
Everyone agreed that even if the OP didn’t have her heartbreaking issues with conceiving, her sister’s immature tantrum still more than justified her early departure, while also agreeing that if anyone’s behavior was more shocking, it was the OP’s parents.
“NTA.”
“‘My sister’s temper tantrum saddened me and honestly sickened me as someone who would do anything for a child to raise’.”
“‘So we quietly left’.”
“‘But it was noticed’.”
“‘I don’t understand either your sister’s reaction or your parents.”
“‘Then my parents called me to say I should have stayed and waited for any feelings until after’.”
“‘They also told me I should just be there for my sister now’.”
“‘That she’s going through something I don’t understand’.”
“What your parents said is totally beyond belief.”
“You and your husband would give anything to have a living, healthy child, and your sister threw a tantrum because she is having a boy.”
“Your sister and parents are massive A-H’s!”- Comfortable-Sea-2454
“NTA.”
“Your sister has some definite entitlement issues and throwing a tantrum like a toddler proves she has yet to grow up and be an adult.”
“Other family members supporting her behaviour will only make your sister believe that her narcissistic view on things is right.”
“I’d cut off the lot of them if this is the way they choose to act.”- kiwimuz
“NTA.”
“You wouldn’t be an ahole if you never even tried to have children and walked out simply because you didn’t want to deal with that insane temper tantrum.”
“Like, she knew there was about 50% chance that it would be a boy.”
“If she wasn’t prepared to handle that quite likely outcome, she is sure at hell not prepared to handle a child of either sex.”- Pesec1
“NTA, you lost every child you got pregnant with, and here your sister should be glad she’s going to be having a healthy baby.”
“I would have left after that, too, regardless, because who reacts like that to their baby’s gender reveal?”
“She shouldn’t have put all her eggs in a basket thinking it was a girl.”
“I hope she doesn’t grow to resent the boy as I see in other posts since she really wanted a girl.”
“Hope you are doing okay.”- Purple_Maize536
“NTA.”
“Let me guess they probably have a recording of this attention seeking party too so one day their son can see how disappointed mommy was over him being a boy.”
“If you wouldn’t be happy with either gender, don’t throw a reveal party so you can process your emotions appropriately and away from others.”
“Your feelings are 1000% valid, and it’s sad your sister can’t appreciate the gift of so far having a healthy pregnancy/ baby.”- dirtynerdy585
“I’ve never been pregnant, not planning of having children like ever, and I would’ve walked away all the same.”
“NTA, and I’m really sorry for your losses.”
“Children aren’t toys to play with. They’re human beings.”
“What your sister is going through is called ‘not being mature enough to be a parent’, unfortunately it’s not easy to fix considering she’s almost 40 and not 12.”- daffodilsx
“NTA.”
“Totally understand your point of view.”
“Sounds like she’s the golden child.”
“Maybe it’s time to put some distance between you and them for a little while.”-RutabagaCurious3279
“Your sisters/BIL’s actions are indefensible.”
“I would have left also, NTA.”- GirlDad2023_
“Ugh.”
“I send you a big hug.”
“NTA, and honestly, people like your sister and BIL sickens me.”
“A baby is not a toy.”
“Is a living human being that you and your loved one created together.”
“Isn’t that enough to love the child?”- sinchistesp
“NTA.”
“Your poor nephew.”
“Your sister is going to be a god awful mother.”- AgnarCrackenhammer
“So NTA , One of the many reasons I hate gender reveal parties.”
“Immature, soon-to-be parents that can’t hide their ‘disappointment’ with what they are having.”
“FFS, this is another example of entitled behavior that has its roots in OTT social media and influencers.”
“So many times it’s a gift grab that will be followed by baby showers or ‘god forbid’ baby sprinkles.”
“You should consider a period of no contact with your sister and low contact with your mother after letting your mother know you will shut her down if there is one more mention of your sister.”
“I hope you have an update on here one day with positive news for you.”- lorainnesmith
“NTA.”
“You did what was right for you and your husband.”
“I would LC with your sister and parents.”
“Her reaction is pretty horrible.”- Jax011
“NTA.”
“Your sister is clearly the AH here. Even if there was no history of yours, her tantrums are absolutely not appropriate whatsoever!”- GeneraleHej
It’s pretty shocking that the OP’s parents would actually tell her she needed to “be there for her sister”, when it’s hard to believe the OP’s sister was ever there for her.
Not when she claims her “dreams were crushed” by the fact she’s having a healthy, beautiful baby boy when the OP has had four heartbreaking failed attempts at fulfilling her dream of becoming a parent.
The only thing that’s surprising is that more people didn’t storm out of that gender reveal party…