Going out to eat is one of life’s greatest joys.
Let’s be honest, many of us order out far more than we should.
It’s not always about the food.
More often than not, it’s about social interaction and human connection.
But the food is a big part. Who doesn’t like to treat themselves?
People want to eat out at a place they love and with people who make them comfortable.
That’s why when planned dinners with “loved ones” go awry it can cause quite a stir.
Case in point…
Redditor DragonflySouth4310 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
“AITA for ordering a giant steak against my M[other] I[n] L[aw]’s will, then actually eating it and refusing to cover the entire bill?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“This is ridiculous and I can’t believe I have to ask if I’m an a**hole, but here we go.”
“I (F[emale] 27) have been together with my husband Nate for over ten years and married for 4.”
“I don’t have the best relationship with my MIL as she always seems to police what I eat.”
“Everyone in my family has fast metabolisms.”
“I am also working with horses so due to this burn a lot of calories (talking about 2.5-3k a day) and usually have rather large meals to get the energy back and I still remain skinny.”
“Now to the event.”
“My in-law invited me and Nate for dinner last Friday.”
“I was very busy back then and haven’t eaten since about 6-7 am and also didn’t have a chance to have a snack before heading to the restaurant.”
“So I was starving.”
“I usually have something to eat before seeing my MIL to avoid her comments.”
“Due to this, I ordered a large steak at the restaurant which was meant for two people.”
“It also came with prawns, bacon, and two sides.”
“Please note it was not the most expensive item on the menu as some of my in-laws had significantly pricier dishes and we were all splitting the bill anyway.”
“My MIL started making comments about how I shouldn’t be ordering what I can’t eat since even her husband wouldn’t be able to finish the dish, let alone someone my size.”
“I smiled and said I haven’t eaten since early morning and am starving. If I don’t finish the steak, I will take the leftovers home.”
“I easily finished the steak and was waiting for my dessert when my MIL flipped.”
“She said I am attention seeking and was putting on a show.”
“She also said I have made my F[ather] I[n] L[aw] and B[rother] I[n] L[aw] feel uneasy and that a woman shouldn’t eat that much, it is unhealthy, and something is wrong with me.”
“She has then demanded me and Nate cover the entire bill as she wasn’t planning on ‘such a big expenditure.'”
“I said we are absolutely not covering the entire bill since it was meant to be split equally and reminded her of the dishes she ordered.”
“Which were significantly more expensive compared to my steak (including her starter).”
“As a result, I was called an a**hole who has ruined a family dinner.”
“Nate is on my side, but most of his family are making very passive-aggressive posts on social media about it.”
“And keep sending me different articles about ‘What might cause excessive eating.'”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. I hope you stared your MIL dead straight in the eyes as you took the last bite of your steak.” ~ JoeyShabadoo79
“And as she ate, the MIL unwittingly witnessed a feminist revolt being unleashed as a mere woman ate more than the men!!”
“Then, MIL gasps and withers away in misogyny as OP heads to her happily ever after!” ~ crack_crack9000
“Local woman, denied steak by mother-in-law, resorts to eating mother-in-law. ‘I was hungry’ she said.”
“OP, NTA. Your mother-in-law is bananas.”
“If you refused to pay for you’re agreed upon dinner, then maybe but like.”
“God forbid you eat when you’re hungry.” ~ Radiant-Walrus-4961
“OP, if you and Nate ever have kids, keep them away from MIL at mealtimes as much as possible.”
“She’ll food-police them too and probably single out any girls for an extra dose of toxic food attitudes.”
“No child needs to be set up for eating disorders.”
“It sounds like the whole family has a strange preoccupation with other people’s food intake, to be honest.” ~ OhEstelle
“Some Bobby Hill when he breaks up with the vegetarian energy and I’m so here for it.”
“OP, NTA. My metabolism is the same way, I’d just start sending them articles detailing an overactive metabolism in response to the shameful ones they’re sending to insinuate an E[eating] D[isorder].”
“Thankfully most people believe me when I say I can eat all that.” ~ givemeapuppers
“NTA. I did something similar one time.”
“8th-grade field trip to NYC.”
“We had to bring our own money to pay for food obviously but our teacher escorts only wanted to eat at the most expensive places that no fricking 8th grader could have afforded OR their parents could have imagined having to send enough money to cover.”
“I was tired of it, not very hungry, and at an expensive place.”
“The only thing on the menu that even sounded appetizing was the chocolate cake.”
“Very decadent very large lol.”
“It’s worth noting that there was a rule that we HAD to order something to eat at each of our stops for ‘health reasons.'”
“So I ordered the cake.”
“When the waitress arrived she made a joke about ‘who was naughty and just ordered dessert’ etc.”
“My teacher was PISSED.”
“She called me down to her end of the table and called me every name under the sun and every version of a fat pig possible.”
“And how I ‘knew that isn’t what she meant by having to order something.'”
“Mind you this CAKE for ONE PERSON was $25… in 2006.”
“You can imagine how expensive the ‘actual’ food was.”
“But at that point, I had already bought and paid for it since it was a group of about 40 children each paying for their own meal the restaurant required us to pay upfront before they would bring the food so there was nothing she could really do.”
“All of this after DAYS of constant bullying on her part.”
“So I sat down and even though it nearly made me puke I ate EVERY SINGLE CRUMB of cake off that plate.”
“It was so decadent it put me off chocolate for months but I didn’t care.”
“I had the biggest s**t-eating grin the entire time and she was so pissed she couldn’t stop me that she didn’t even eat her $150 dinner.”
“She just glared at me the entire time. It was glorious.” ~ Dwestmor1007
“MIL probably claimed that OP ran up the bill and cost her money.”
“The bill was going to be split equally, and MIL’s meal was even more expensive than OP’s, so she was likely counting on more of her costs being covered by others.”
“So she probably claimed OP cost her money and was rude to her, and they don’t want to be her next target so they’re piling on.” ~ calling_water
“This makes me wonder if the MIL is overweight and is on a lot of starvation diets but can’t lose the weight.”
“I find it difficult to lose weight, and I eat less than I should.”
“Yes, it’s frustrating to see people eat what they want and not put on weight, but that’s a ME problem.”
“I would never shame anyone for their body, big or thin.”
“OP is NTA, MIL is clearly jealous with a side of internalized misogyny.” ~ ZeldaMayCry
“Doesn’t matter if she’s overweight.”
“That’s her business alone.”
“Maybe her husband, too, if she is comfortable with that.”
“This isn’t even a #bodybeautiful thing.”
“It’s just none of her business.”
“Maybe if OP’s weight ballooned up, and it was mentioned in a very delicate and empathetic manner, it would be ok to show some concern but shut it down immediately if OP decided to.”
“OP is NTA in a means or manner.”
“Trying to control what someone eats.”
“That’s just ridiculous.”
“And the MIL is either dumb or very sneaky.”
“Trying to get OP to pay for her meal because of what OP ate.”
“It’s an insult to your intelligence too.”
“Low Contact/No Contact with these people.”
“Let your husband deal with them if he wants to.” ~ darcys_beard
“All of your in-laws are in a toxic family with MIL as the head queen bee.”
“They collectively bully you into thinking there’s something wrong with you.”
“You and your husband should start learning about toxic families and how to draw boundaries with these people.”
“They are emotionally abusive.”
“You should head over to r/JUSTNOMIL.”
“Almost everyone there has a story similar to yours.”
“It could be really helpful to learn how to deal with all these people.”
“I’d block them on all social media and go No Contact.” ~ das_whatz_up
“So wait. They expect the bill to be split evenly and for you not to order so much.”
“Meaning, they essentially expected you to pay for their food but them not pay anything towards yours.”
“Yeah, no. You are so NTA, and I think IF you go out to dinner with them again, you and Nate pay your own bill separately.”
“If they chuck a stink about it, send them MIL’s way and remind them that this is the new rule because of MIL’s prior behavior.”
“Oh and in case it wasn’t obvious, always eat the amount you know you need, and don’t let anyone make you feel like an AH for feeding your body the fuel it needs to function.” ~ Environmental_Art591
Well, OP, sounds like Reddit is with you.
You were hungry.
You had to eat.
How much you eat is none of anyone else’s business.
Sounds like some deeper issues may be brewing with the in-laws.
Good luck, and hope you enjoyed the steak.