in , ,

Woman Called Out For ‘Locking Away’ Menstrual Products After Her In-Laws Keep Stealing Them

HUIZENG HU/Getty Images

Sharing is a two way street.

One always wants to be there for friends and family, and sometimes that means lending them something to help them out.

Things become problematic however, when it is always one person doing the lending, and always one person doing the borrowing.

Redditor 754985949 found herself increasingly frustrated when her mother-in-law and sister-in-law began using items of hers without ever asking, or without replenishing them.

This led the original poster (OP), taking fairly drastic measures to put a stop to it, much to the anger of her mother-in-law.

Worried she may have gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for locking away my menstrual products so nobody else can access them?”

The OP first shared how temporarily moving in with her in-laws posed a number of challenges, with one in-particular centered around a regular occurrence.

“I (23 F[emale]) moved in with my in laws a little over a year ago after getting married.”

“I have a sister-in-law (SIL) who is 14, my mother-in-law (MIL) and their maid who are all menstruating.”

“MIL finds it ‘shameful’ to discuss menstrual cycles or anything period related.”

“We had an argument when I called husband to tell him I ran out of pads and she saw him enter the house with a bag of them.”

“Apparently he shouldn’t even know what they are let alone be purchasing them for me.”

“SIL started her cycle shortly after I moved in.”

“MIL is going through menopause and so is their maid.”

“All of this to say they all have irregular cycles.”

“Mine is regular, frequent and heavy.”

“I can easily get through 14 heavy duty pads in a day.”

In spite of her MIL’s aversion to the topic, she had no trouble borrowing relevant products from the OP, without her permission.

“Over the past 9 months I realized that every time I needed pads, there were none left or they were down to one or two.”

“I realized everyone else was using my pads instead of buying their own.”

“I spoke to the other women in the house and explained that I appreciate that they might get caught short but if they could replace the pads or at least tell me they had run low so I would have some.”

“Every 3 weeks it’s the same thing.”

“I never have pads even though I had at least a few when my cycle ended.”

“So I bought a mini storage locker thing and put it in my en suite bathroom, and I have the only key.”

“This is also where the pads were anyway, so basically they were rifling through our bedroom frequently to access them.”

“SIL found out the hard way and tattled to MIL who went off on me for being self-centred and unsympathetic.”

“I told her I was tired of being taken advantage of and if she was so worried about her daughter then she should actually take steps to provide for her.”

“She dragged husband into it too and said she would throw me out if I don’t apologize for my comments and action.”

“He reminded her that we move out in 2 months anyway and that if she wants me out then we will gladly leave early.”

“She backed down but there is a tension between the in laws and husband & I, with them giving us the silent treatment.”

“Maybe I should not have locked my pads away?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for locking up her menstrual products from her MIL.

Everyone agreed that it was wrong for the OP’s MIL to use her products without her permission or without replenishing them, with many finding her behavior bordering on abusive.


“They kept using your pads because MIL is too ashamed to buy her own Damm sh*t.”

“They are all relying on you for their feminine needs.”

“What happens when you move out?”

“They’ll be forced to go to the store.”-liabilityalt

“Definitely NTA.”

“If they have a maid, they could definitely afford menstrual products.”-weirdopersonlmao



“So it’s shameful for your husband to buy you pads but it isn’t shameful for your MIL to throw a fit and involve her son in the feminine hygiene drama?”



‘They didn’t want to learn it the soft way, they gotta learn it the hard way.’

“You can be glad your husband buys that stuff for you after been raised in such an environment.”-BeJustImmortal


“Just think what it’s teaching this 14-year-old.”

“Be ashamed of your body, other people need to provide for your needs, and whatever you do don’t ask the men in your life for support.:

“Craziness.”- gfdoctor


‘If feel bad for your 14 yr old SIL.”

“Also, it’s shameful for men to know about periods but it’s not shameful to steal from people?”-SnazzySusieQ

“They’re wealthy enough for a maid but can’t afford/too cheap to buy their own pads?”- 4StringLibertine


“She sounds abusive, controlling, and extremely ignorant.”

“Men should know what menstrual products are and what they’re used for.”

“It’s shameful if they don’t.”

‘Her willful ignorance towards health issues is her own problem, until it starts interfering with her child’s life.”-Fatt3stAveng3r


“You gave them ample opportunity to avoid this situation by just replacing what they took.”

“They chose this.”- LadyyHALFrican


“Get a cork board and pin them up individually.”

“I bet your MIL would prefer that you kept them locked away.”- RGeronimoH

“I feel sad for the 14 year old.”

“Her mother is obviously not providing for her.”

“When you talk to your SIL what does she say about this?”

“What is she supposed to do when her mother tells her to take yours and won’t buy her her own?”

“Please consider buying extra for SIL.”

“She’s just a young woman who can’t buy her own.”- WeirdoBardo


“They were stealing from you.”

“You set boundaries that if they get used replace them.”

“They didn’t follow through, so you don’t have to give them access.”

“It’s as simple as that.”

“Also, your MIL is a hypocrite for saying men shouldn’t be involved in such matters, and then tattling in her husband for what you did.”- Purple-Bat811

“If I was your husband, I’d be buying like a box of pads every couple of days and announcing loudly when I got back home, ‘I BOUGHT ANOTHER BOX OF PADS IN CASE ANYONE IN THE HOUSE NEEDS THEM!!’ and then leave them out where everyone can see like in front of the TV or on the dining room table.”

“I’d just keep buying them and buying them until THEY ALL asked me to stop.”

“NTA.”- EighteenRabbit


“Lock your stuff up.”

“They are the AH, that would be so frustrating.”- UnwillingCouchFlower


“Do they not understand how to buy menstrual products?”

“How did MIL/maid manage before you moved in.”

“Was everyone just free bleeding?”

“They’re taking advantage of you.”

“Borrowing once in a while is one thing, consistently abusing convenience is different.”

“Also that shit gets expensive FAST.”

“I would have locked my products up too.”- zbattlev


“It’s one thing if it’s a one time emergency, or even if they regularly used them and replaced the pads.”

“This next part isn’t required of you but would be a very kind thing if you’re capable of doing it.”

“Your SiL clearly needs someone to teach her a healthy attitude about menstruation.”

“Don’t worry about your MiL or the maid.”

“Unless the maid isn’t allowed to buy her own products.”

“But if you can, help your SIL.”- EmpressJainaSolo


“Maybe they should reduce their maid’s hours if they can’t afford pads.”

“Since, they like to steal yours.”

“Also, OP, you should put the lockbox in you and your husband’s room until you leave.”- Kitsumekat

“NTA your MIL is old enough to know better.”

“Maybe you could have a sit down conversation with your young SIL about puberty because you can bet with MIL attitude she hasn’t.”

“SIL needs to advocate for her own needs.”-chubby-wench


“Malicious noncompliance fantasy.”

“Get your most unflappable male friends to show up at the door with a box of pads at a time when the offender will answer the door.”

“‘Hey, I heard NTA was having a problem with people using her pads, so I wanted to make sure you had some of your own’.”- fubo


“How did this woman give birth, let alone more than once, if she’s so aghast at the functions of the uterus? “

“They’re stealing from you, and you asked nicely, so keep your goods locked up.”

“That’s your right.”-SoFunkyMonkey

It is fairly upsetting, particularly in this day and age, that the OP’s MIL would feel the need to shame the OP on what is just a part of life.

Maybe getting kicked out of their house would have been all for the best, as it seems the OP and her husband need to get out of there as soon as possible.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.