When a stressful wedding sends the bride to her wits’ end, nobody wants to be in the crossfire.
But some people are just too directly involved with the big day to escape the wrath. For those unlucky few, encountering that unparalleled rage is a done deal.
Redditor GissyMella found herself on the wrong end of an angry bride once upon a time.
The ongoing saga was such an ordeal that she posted her experience to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit to call for some internet feedback.
With the post’s title, GissyMella, the Original Poster (OP) conveyed just how long-lasting the whole ordeal has been.
“AITA for telling my sister I won’t be in her second/makeup wedding?”
She began with the original, inciting incident.
“My [25-year-old female] sister [30-year-old female] got married six years ago. The wedding did not go quite as planned so she and her husband have decided they want a redo and are planning to have their wedding late next year.”
“I was her bridesmaid/kinda maid of honor with one of her friends, and she treated me like sh*t.”
“I was younger then and didn’t really say much because the rest of my family would have told me to deal with it for her day, and be the grownup like I was supposed to be.”
One moment sent OP over the edge.
“The only time I really called my sister out was when she raged at me for not paying off the dress the same day as the others.”
“I had told her before that my payments would be a little late with me being a struggling college student and all that…”
“…but instead of either changing her mind about me being her bridesmaid or offering to pay and I could pay her back she spoke to me like a disobedient child in front of her friends and the ladies at the store.”
And the drama continued after that.
“I was SO stressed out because of her and then at her wedding one of our cousins had a medical emergency followed by our brothers girlfriend going into labor.”
“I bore the brunt of her anger that day and afterward she got pissy with our brothers girlfriend for taking the spotlight from her and now they don’t talk and she doesn’t know our nephew.”
With all that in mind, OP struggled with a recent question.
“So when she asked me again I told her no. She wanted a reason. I told her to reflect on how she treated me at her last wedding and left it there.”
“Now our parents, paternal grandma and paternal aunts and great aunts are all rallying to get me to say yes, and to apologize for saying no.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked to provide feedback by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
“NTA” was by far the most popular response from Redditors.
Many advised against repeating the past.
“NTA. You are a person with free will. If you feel you were treated badly and don’t want to be put in a position where it could happen again, well you have every right to do as you please and shouldn’t feel any guilt for that choice.”
“And is buying your own dress a thing? At my marriage we bought all the clothes, bridesmaids, best man, page boy…..all out of our funds.” — weeble__
“NTA. Don’t put yourself through that again. And you don’t have anything to bloody apologize for.”
“Did your family not see this behaviour from her? Or is she the ‘golden child’ that can do no wrong?” — kma1391
“NTA. I would completely want to avoid being her emotional stress ball. No one wants to bear the brunt of Bridezilla.” — tastyfakes
“NTA- She was a Bridezilla the first time around and has had six years to plan how to be even more demanding the second time around” — Readingreddit12345
Others had some choice words for the very idea of a second wedding.
“NTA. It takes a special kind of person to not be happy with all of the attention they got on their first wedding day.”
“Because that’s all this second wedding is, ‘I didn’t get enough attention the first time round.'”
“She sounds like a nightmare to be perfectly honest. I wouldn’t bother either. Six years has no real significance. Renewing vows at 10, 15 or 20 years? Sure.”
“But six years? Give me a break” — galaxy-parrot
“Your choice. It is a makeup wedding anyway so there is nothing to gain from this other than to appease a spoiled person. NTA.” — Galactic_Beans
“NTA This sounds like a gift grab. Or someone who enjoys the wedding more than the marriage. I don’t think I’d even attend at all, let alone be a bridesmaid again.” — Alternative_Year_340
A few made a point to encourage OP to be straight up with her feelings about it all.
“NTA I’m surprised her marriage has lasted six years. Was her husband blinking S.O.S the last time you saw him?”
“But seriously, tell her and your family the reason, don’t be vague.” — BrownandBlonde
“NTA but I would say that it’s better to state the reasons why you felt uncomfortable last time rather than hoping she’ll figure it out on her own.”
“She probably won’t self-reflect in the way you hope, she could lash out and say that you’re being vague or petty, and that’s not what you want. Good luck.” — WembleyToast
“NTA. In a mass email I would spell out how you were treated. Then state you will not be placed into that position again by an overgrown spoiled brat.” — CompetitiveLecture5
We’ll likely never know what that second wedding looks like, who’s there, and whether history does, in fact, repeat itself.
But if the advice of Redditors is any indication, we know at least one seat will likely be empty.