Perhaps the only thing worse than being lied to is being accused of lying when you have been completely honest.
Sadly, some people are simply so distrustful that if something seems to them even the tiniest bit off, they will often jump to outrageous conclusions.
So distrustful are they, in fact, that they even have trouble accepting that people are telling the truth even when they have cold, hard evidence placed in front of them.
The boyfriend of Redditor houseplantlover9 was less than pleased when she showed disinterest in spending some quality time with him.
He only became more agitated when the original poster (OP) told him the reason for her resistance.
As he believed she was lying and possibly up to something else.
When the OP definitively proved she was telling the truth, however, it didn’t appease the situation at all.
Concerned she may have gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for showing my boyfriend my used sanitary towel in an argument?”
The OP explained how her current condition forced her to resist certain intimate behavior, which her boyfriend refused to believe.
“Me (23 F[emele]) and boyfriend (22 M[ale]) have been together for 6 months.”
“Good relationship, healthy sex life that we talk about a lot and communicate our needs, etc.”
“A month ago I had the implant fitted (contraception) which has given me weird frequent periods.”
“The doctor told me they should go back to normal in a few months and to wait it out, which I’m doing because I like the convenience of the implant.”
“We were in bed yesterday night watching TV and he went to initiate sex.”
“I moved his hand away and said I was still on my period.”
“My period had been going for about a week now so we’d not had sex in that time.”
“Then my boyfriend made a really loud dramatic sigh and moved away from me. I said ‘sorry, I can’t help my periods’.”
“He replied ‘yeah sure’.”
“I said what was that supposed to mean?”
“He wouldn’t give me a straight answer and kept saying ‘whatever’.”
“We didn’t talk for a while and kept watching TV in silence.”
“Then he said ‘if you don’t want to have sex you can just say you know’.”
“I was kind of pissed off at this because I felt like he was saying I was faking being on my period.”
“I told him I really was still on my period.”
“He said no periods last longer than a week, and I told him that the doctor had said this was normal for some people on the implant at first and it will settle.”
“He told me that he didn’t believe me and so I called him an idiot, which wasn’t nice I know.”
“He then started ranting that how could I call him an idiot when I was clearly a liar who must be cheating on him and getting sex elsewhere which is why I am lying about my periods.”
“I couldn’t believe he was saying this because he’s never freaked out on me like this.”
“Cheating has also never ever been mentioned in our relationship ever so I don’t know where this came from.”
“It annoyed me so much that I got out of bed and pulled my trousers and pants down so he could see the sanitary towel that was bloody and shouted ‘could I fake this?'”
“He screamed that I was disgusting and left the room.”
“I started laughing because of the ridiculous of the situation and that pissed him off more, as he grabbed his keys and stormed out of the house.”
“I tried to text him but he ignored me, so I left him to it as I was pretty annoyed by his behavior.”
“I then got a text a few hours later around 11 pm from his sister saying he had gone to his mom and dad’s house and told his sister what happened.”
“She said what I had done was really disgusting and he’s refusing to come back unless I apologize.’
“I told my friend what happened and she said he was being an idiot but that I also needed to apologize because what I did was ‘abhorrent’.”
“I’m annoyed with what he did but also think it was pretty gross of me to do that.”
“I don’t really know why I did it it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for showing her used sanitary pad to her boyfriend.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s boyfriend, both before and after she showed him her pad, was cause for concern, with many urging her to question if staying in this relationship was a good idea.
“And he also really needs to get educated about female health if he’s gonna be in an adult relationship.”
“Some women’s periods last 3 days, some last up to 10 days.”
“Every woman is different, so straight away his argument was dumb, as well as offensive to you.”
“I’d say don’t apologize to him, you showed him proof that you weren’t lying after he started making wild accusations, if anyone is owed an apology it’s you.”- Octiiiiiiii
“He didn’t believe you and you provided proof.”
“Also, him telling his whole family is a major WTF.”- ABGStatus
“How is what you did consider gross and disgusting?”
“You gave him the evidence, and it sounds as if he would not have believed you without evidence.”
“What IS gross and disgusting is how he started accusing you of those awful things instead of trying to understand what you are having to deal with right now bc of the implant.”- YuckFou_and_MourYom
“It’s only been six months you may want to cut your losses now.”
“Date someone who is an actual adult with communication skills.”
“This guy is immature and rude.”- KindergartenBullsh*t
“How is it even gross.”
“He was acting like a [email protected], why would you apologize when he called you a liar and a cheater?”
“Also, are you living together after 6 months?”- Timmetie
“So he’s got no problem having sex with you, but periods make him freak out like that?”
“Cut your losses, honey, and dump this guy.”
“Any man who whines like that because they can’t have sex (and also why is period sex such a big deal?) and then loses his sh*t like that upon being called out for his sh*t, is not mature enough to be having any sex.”
“He needs to get over himself.”
“And telling you that no periods last longer than a week!”
“I wish I had the confidence of a man who has no idea what he’s talking about.”
“Your boy needs a biology lesson.”- manz02
“But also please DUMP HIM.”
“That relationship sounds exhausting that he gets upset when you don’t want to have sex and you have to prove that you’re not lying.”- gennyforyourthots
“If you’re too grossed by what comes out, best not put anything in.”
“As I told my college ex, who was grossed out by the fact that I needed to buy tampons in a drugstore when shopping with him.”- sihaya_wiosnapustyni
The OP later gave an update sharing how reading the responses from the Reddit community gave her a new perspective on her relationship, and also shared where things with her boyfriend currently stand.
“This has really changed my perspective on things.”
“I think I was so thinking about the sanitary towel thing that I hadn’t really realized how bad his behavior was.”
“His mom actually sent me a message on Facebook saying what I did was disgusting and really abnormal and that she doesn’t think me and my boyfriend should date anymore.”
“I can’t believe his mom is messaging me about this.”
“I blocked her and messaged him that he needs to come and pick up his stuff that he’s left at mine.”
“Luckily it isn’t much.”
“He hasn’t replied but I saw that he has shared a post on Facebook about women being crazy.”
“So I guess we’re done.”
“Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond.”
“And sorry to everyone else who is dealing with annoying periods due to contraception!”
As the saying goes, the truth hurts.
It wasn’t exactly necessary for the OP to show her boyfriend her bloody sanitary pad.
However, it’s unlikely that he would have ever believed her had she not done just that.
Especially given the accusations of cheating.
Moreover, the fact that he chose not to apologize when he was proven unquestionably wrong and instead only got even angrier leaves one to think that the OP might indeed be better off should her relationship definitely be over.
One can only hope her next partner will be infinitely more trusting.