Public intoxication is tolerated at varying levels depending on the situation and location. Being drunk in a bar is largely overlooked.
Being drunk during Sunday mass or your child’s dance recital? Not so much.
But what about airports?
Alcohol is served in most major airports and by most airlines. Clearly imbibing isn’t shunned behavior.
But once alcohol is combined with attitude and a**holery, people find themselves asked to vacate the premises—sometimes with the assistance of law enforcement.
A newlywed woman found herself with a decision to make at an airport after her husband was denied passage on their flight for his drunken disorderly antics.
When her husband disagreed with her decision, she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
CantaloupeLife7504 asked:
“AITA for not deplaning with my husband after he was kicked off for being too drunk?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (28, female) recently married my husband Adam (30, male).”
“We are the same ethnicity and both speak our language. However I am more fluent as I go to our home country more often.”
“My extended family are all there in our home country. It was just my parents, me and my sisters here.”
“Adam’s grandparents are the ones who came to this country first, so he has most of his family here. We see them more often, so I am close with his family.”
“My parents are divorced and around the time I started dating Adam, my dad moved back to our home country. I regularly call him, but since he moved he has only been able to come see me twice and then was at my wedding.”
“My dad disapproves of Adam.”
“I have had fights with Adam in the past about how I feel I have made more of an effort with his family and he hasn’t done the same for me.”
“Both my parents speak our home language. When we started dating, Adam wasn’t conversationally fluent so there was a barrier to them initially bonding.”
“It was more apparent when my dad came to stay with us, but in the lead up to the wedding my dad stayed with us and it went fine.”
“I have been planning a trip to my home country to surprise my dad and asked Adam to come as well. He agreed and then balked when I said we were going to stay with my dad.”
“He made what I thought was a joke about having to drink before meeting him. I didn’t find it funny and Adam later apologised.”
“Yesterday was our flight.”
“I was going straight to the airport after work, so Adam went early with our suitcases to check in. We were meant to meet up later.”
“However, he was drunk and the flight attendant wouldn’t let him stay on the plane. I called my brother-in-law (BIL) who could take care of Adam and left my BIL’s phone number with the attendant taking care of him.”
“I stayed on my flight. My home country is far away, so my non-refundable tickets were expensive and I took leave off from work for the trip, so I didn’t get off with Adam.”
“Adam is now upset with me, saying I left him alone in a situation where he was drunk and if roles were reversed he would have never left me. But I don’t think that is fair.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“My husband got too drunk at the airport and got kicked off the plane.”
“I didn’t get off with him as tickets are non-refundable and I have wanted to see my dad for ages.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. Dude made a conscious decision to get drunk. I’m sure if he were to suddenly become so ill that he couldn’t fly you would have stayed with him.”
“But this isn’t something that just happened to him or something you did to him. He made a decision to do this to himself and has no one else to blame.”
“Enjoy your visit with your dad!” ~ CommittedIndecisive
“Proud of you for not letting him take you hostage with his behavior and devious attempt to mess up your visit. Don’t ever stop being strong and enforcing those boundaries. Fly on.” ~ FeRaL–KaTT
“NTA. This man deliberately tried to ruin your time with your father because your father doesn’t think highly of him. Let me guess, your father picked up on Adam being immature, spiteful, selfish, and poorly annered.”
“You need to ask yourself what someone who would do this to spite you brings to the table and why you stay with him.” ~ saintandvillian
“NTA. Is he always this manipulative? He planned to get drunk and probably knew they wouldn’t let him on the flight for that reason.”
“He weasled his way out of the trip then gaslighted you and said you were at fault. He’s a grown man, doesn’t he know when he’s getting drunk?”
“Of course he does. You didn’t leave him totally alone, as you called for your BIL.”
“A drunk man alone is different and imo less vulnerable than a drunk woman alone, anyway. Good luck with this marriage.” ~ singingkiltmygrandma
“NTA. If he’s accidentally getting too drunk before a flight at 30, he has a problem. If he did it on purpose, he is a problem.”
“Either way, letting him disrupt your life so you can coddle his drunk a** solves nothing.” ~ dryadduinath
“NTA. Adam is an adult and should, at this point in his life, know how much alcohol he can drink to get tipsy but not totally smashed.”
“He’s old enough to know how you should act on a plane. If this were a small trip that wasn’t at a great cost, time suck, and required to take time off of work, I’d say sure it’d be good to stay with him.”
“But in this situation? Hell, no. He knew there was a long flight ahead, that tickets had been expensive, and that the plan was to visit your family.”
“‘Sorry, Dad, I couldn’t make the flight because my husband, who you already don’t really like, got SO drunk they wouldn’t allow him on the plane’. No. Just, no.” ~ fallingintopolkadots
“NTA: you didn’t leave him alone in a ditch. You left him where people were coming for him and watching out for him.”
“He played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.” ~ DragonBard_Z
“A part of me has come to wonder if this prize was even that drunk or if they just thought that being denied boarding—rather than being an adult who refuses to go, right or wrong—for something would get her to stay behind. NTA.” ~ RumpusParableHere
“I get nervous flying and part of my pre-flying routine is having a beer to relax and forget we’re in a metal tube filled with combustibles 30k feet in the air—don’t come at me, this is how I cope.”
“One time it was raining and cloudy and I knew I was in for a rough take off and probably a flight, so I had a little more than my customary beer. I was tipsy, jamming to the music on my headphones and smiling like an idiot to everyone.”
“I had no issues getting onto the plane.”
“Can’t imagine how drunk your husband had to be to be denied boarding. He probably noticed that he was passing the realm between buzzed, tipsy and drunk and did not stop.”
“Plane tickets are not cheap and the logistics of having to change your trip to accommodate an immature adult is not something you should have to do.”
“Obviously NTA.” ~ BeautifulIsland39
“There’s so many videos online of drunks being denied boarding, but it’s not just about being drunk. It’s being drunk AND loud or belligerent.”
“They want to screen people likely to cause problems with other passengers once the flight‘s in the air. If you board quietly, smiling, I agree, no one’s going to stop you.” ~ Wave_Babies
“I kind of wonder if it was deliberate. Adam expected OP to be booted off the flight with him and ‘oh, noooooo, it is too expensive to visit dad for a few more years’.”
“Regardless, getting drunk at an airport in your home city is not any more unsafe than getting drunk at a pub in your home city. OP organised BIL to collect him and had reasonable expectation of of him being safe under the supervision of the flight attendant until BIL arrived.”
“The husband ought to be apologising profusely to OP and deeply embarrassed. I would feel terrible and mortified if my drunken behaviour nearly put a stop to a much anticipated, expensive trip for my husband.”
“Instead he is doubling down which makes me cynical about his motives for getting drunk. NTA.” ~ Cherry_clafoutis
“Seems like Adam is trying to keep you away from your family. Huge red flag. You make an effort for his family, and he won’t do the same.”
“Hell, I bet it is expected for you to get along with his family, but he doesn’t set those expectations for himself with your family. He knew how important it was for you to see your dad, and yet he still got drunk.”
“He told you he would get drunk before going to meet your dad. He purposely got drunk as a ploy for you both not to go visit your father. I bet he never imagined you would go without him.”
“He could have caught another flight after sobering up. He may have had to pay a bit more, though. Now, he is trying to play victim, saying if roles were reversed.”
“But the roles would never be like that as you would never do that to him. I would rethink this whole relationship and see a marriage councellor. NTA.” ~ Ace_boy08
Most felt Adam was acting a bit go make sure he got booted from the flight.
Or he’s a really sloppy drunk.
Either way, no one faulted the OP for staying on the plane and going on her planned visit.