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Redditor Balks After Jealous Sister Demands To Be Invited On Lavish Trip Paid For By In-Laws

A woman sitting on a deck chair with her head down.
Rafa Elias/Getty Images

As much as parents might try, sibling rivalry is simply unavoidable.

As one child might want the toy or game their older sibling is playing with, while another might want to go on an outing they aren’t old enough for yet.

Thankfully, most parents go through life comforted by the fact that their children will eventually grow out of sibling rivalry.

Unfortunately, many siblings remain jealous of one another well into adulthood.

Such was the case with the sister of Redditor Candid-Pea-9631 who found themself marrying into a family with a lifestyle far different from the one they grew up in.

Upon learning of an upcoming event the original poster (OP) was partaking in entirely funded by their in-laws, their sister expressed their dissatisfaction at always being excluded.

Wondering if they had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for never asking my wealthy in laws to invite my siblings or immediate family on our big vacations?”

The OP explained why their sister felt jealous and angry about not being included on an upcoming family vacation:

“My wife and I have been married for about 8 years now.”

“I had a pretty generic middle class upbringing while her family would be considered ‘old money’.”

“I have no idea how much wealth they actually have but its multi-generational and needless to say they’ll never worry about money.”

“They never give us cash outright, but for each of our kids births they set aside 100k in an interest bearing account for their college and they have been extremely generous with the vacations they’ve taken us on.”

“My wife and I both have pretty good jobs and while we have the security of knowing if we ever needed it, they’d help us, we are able to support our not very fancy lifestyle ourselves.”

“This July we’re going on a trip with our kids and her family, including the nuclear family’s of her two siblings and then a few family friends of theirs. MIL and FIL are paying for everything including the flights, villa were staying at, and various meals and activities.”

“This will be the 5th vacation like this they’ve taken us on.”

“Not including our honeymoon they paid for.”

“I never imagined being this close to that kind of wealth before but I have to say they’ve been nothing but welcoming and generous with me.”

“Even offering me high paying jobs I probably dont deserve and offering to pay for my grad school if I choose to go.”

“My sister recently asked me what my summer plans were and if I had any trips.”

“I told her about this one and she got noticeably annoyed/jealous.”

“She asked me why Ive never asked about inviting her and her family since other friends of the family get invited often to these big trips.”

“Some have had 10-20 non family members there that they hosted/paid for.”

“TBH I never even thought about asking to include my relatives in that, but I feel like that’d come off a little greedy so I just don’t.”

“I told her that, and she thinks I’m being selfish.”

“I think a lot of it is just jealousy which I can understand because she’s complained about never being to Europe and it’s splurging for her to just go on a regional vacation.”

“I do feel like that is kinda totally unrelated to my situation though.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not asking their in-laws to include their sister on family vacations.

Everyone agreed that the OP was entirely correct in believing that his sister was jealous, and that it wasn’t his place to ask for her to be included in a vacation they were not paying for.


“Your sister is jealous.”

“And overstepping.”

“And, yes, you would come off as greedy.”

“It is not your place to suggest to your FIL/MIL more people to bring along on their trip.”

“They are taking their daughter, her children and her husband.”

“You are the +1 in this case — that gives your sister 0 reason to expect to be included.”

“Enjoy your trip.”- ThinkingT00Loud

“You are married to their daughter.”

“You are family.”

“Your sister is not family.”

“NTA.”- AntTrailA


“Her vacations are not your problem to solve.”

“Greedy and tacky, IMHO.”

“Don’t kill the goose that lays the golden eggs.”

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.’

“Don’t needlessly piss off your generous in-laws.”


“NTA if your sister insists.”- KronkLaSworda


“This request is so unbelievably cringe and would potentially ruin your reputation with your in-laws (and wife!) if you went through with it.”

“I’m sure throughout your marriage/relationship she’s had opportunities to build a relationship with them had she really wanted to and the fact the hasn’t is why she isn’t invited to fancy holidays.”-Elivercury


“It would be incredibly inappropriate to ask this.”

“You are married to their daughter, you have married into the family, your siblings/family are just kind of extended family by association.”

“It is also not comparable to family friends being invited, as those are obviously close friends of the nuclear family.”

“If your wife’s family ever offers for your family to go it would be incredibly generous and kind of them, but it definitely should not be expected.”- Level-Tangerine-8172


“Your family are guests on your in-laws trips.”

“The friends of the family are also invited guests by your in-laws.”

“A guest should never ask for an invitation for an unsolicited extra guest.”

“This would come across as tacky, graceless, and greedy.”

“Just tell your sister no.”

“No is a complete sentence.”

“You should not elaborate because then she has an excuse to manuliptuate.”- MarthaT001


“My BIL married into a wealthy family.”

“That family has done these types of vacations.”

“Neither my husband or I would ever think of asking to be invited on those vacations.”- KittyC217


“your in-laws invited your wife’s family, not yours.”

“Let’s be honest, you and the kids are invited because you are family to their daughter.”

“Unless THEY invite your extended family, it’d be horrifically rude to ask them to pay for them.”-WaryScientist


“You’re right.”

“Your sister’s way overstepping.”

“If she wants your in laws to invite & pay for her she can ask them direct.”- Apart-Ad-6518


“Tell your sister to back off politely.”

“Tell her you will not be pestering your in-laws for ANYTHING.”

“Extremely wealthy ppl are generous when they want to be, they also never talked about money or the cost of things.”

“It’s tacky.”

“If start asking about including your mealy mouth sister, they will look at you very differently.”

“I can understand the tinge of jealousy, but do not let her put a battery in your back about including her/her family to a trip you are graciously invited to.”

“You love your wife and her parents love you and show it by being generous.”

“Start yapping about why don’t you include my family AND pay etc.”

“You can expect the trips /generosity to stop and for the dynamic to change.”

“Is it worth it to appease a jealous sister who feels entitled to trips?”


“Better yet do not share the vacation news with your family if they cant just be happy for you.”

“NTA.”- PresentationKey9253


“You are a guest.”

“Yes, you’re family but as long as you aren’t the one paying, you are a guest.”

“It is not your place to invite your family and it’s super rude of your sister to insinuate that kind of entitlement.”

“I had this [very similar] situation.”

“I had a very good friend who was not well off.”

“I like taking luxurious vacations (suites, club level, private tours, spas etc) so I would invite her and pay for both of us.”

“Then she asked if she could invite her mom, I agreed b/c we were childhood friends and her mom was good to me.”

“But then she stopped asking to invite her and just did it.”

“THEN, she started trying to plan vacations that she could bring her [teenaged] son along on, that I would pay for.”

“The trips ended at that point.”

“Apparently, her son was getting upset we hadn’t taken the trip yet.”

“The absolute audacity to have asked me to extend the invitation in the first place.”

“Let this be a warning if you do extend an invite, it will not end there.”

“If you give a silver inch, she’ll take a golden mile and ultimately, you may end up also having in-law troubles as well.”- donttouchmeah

It can’t be fun to see your sibling enjoying an experience you can only dream of affording yourself.

And if the OP was intentionally excluding their sister from large, family gatherings, that would be blatantly unkind.

However, as the OP was an invited guest on this vacation, they are in no position to invite others.

Something the OP’s sister will hopefully realize.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.