Being a good neighbor can mean a lot of different things.
A good neighbor can be helpful and jovial.
They can also just be quiet and leave everyone else alone.
One thing that makes things awkward with neighbors can be assumed expectations.
Case in point…
Redditor DoggoDates wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not watching my neighbor’s kids?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I work from home since 2020.”
“This one older neighbor and I used to have playdates with our dogs while she was laid off.”
“Even after she went back to work, the playdates continued on my midday break.”
“Eventually, my doggo passed but I continued to take my neighbor’s dog out every day.”
“She recently moved so I have about two hours of free time between noon and two.”
“My other neighbor decided I could use my free time to watch her 3 children daily while she runs errands.”
“I declined saying I’m not going to spend my lunch doing that.”
“She said I did it for my other neighbor.”
“But I explained that I already had a bond with the dog before I offered to do that.”
“The mom accused me of not liking children.”
“And I said it’s my lunch and I’m not going to give it up so you can have a free babysitter.”
“The argument continued with her husband when he said I was being selfish for not helping.”
“He pointed out that I took my time to help another neighbor with their dog but won’t lift a finger to help his wife.”
“I finally asked them both to stop bothering me or I’m going to get a restraining order. I’m never going to help them out. “
“They called me rude and said the whole it takes a village concept is dead.”
“They even complained on the nextdoor app about how people treat parents with distain as if raising children is something gross or criminal these days.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Wow. No wonder they don’t have anyone in their village.”
“Your neighbors are awful. NTA.” ~ Just-Fix-2657
“Honestly, I’m not sure it matters that much if they offer something in return.”
“I think it’s rude and entitled that they just think their neighbors should watch their kids just…because?”
“It would also be rude and entitled if a neighbor assumed this person would randomly watch their pet.”
“OP and their old neighbor had a close enough relationship that they created a setup they both enjoyed and were on board with.”
“The fact that those circumstances have changed doesn’t suddenly mean OP’s time is free for anyone else.”
“It doesn’t make them some pet/babysitter who now has an open slot in their schedule.”
“The assumption that OP’s free time is at their neighbor’s disposal is bizarre.”
“NTA and the neighbors are real pieces of work in my opinion.” ~ HellaShelle
“Exactly! I wouldn’t even entertain this conversation with the neighbors since the request is honestly laughable.”
“I feel as though they’re trying to gaslight you into doing what they want when in fact they’re the selfish ones.”
“The whole it takes a village applies to reciprocality in helping others as well which I’m sure is nonexistent given their reasoning.”
“It takes a village might be you mentoring a child or helping from time to time should they find themselves in a bind.”
“What you choose to do with your time is none of their business.” ~ meredare
“I agree. If they’d come to OP and ASKED if they could watch their kids, then had accepted OP’s ‘no’ immediately, that’d be one thing.”
“There’s no harm in asking.”
“But to just demand OP’s time and then try to guilt them into it firmly puts them into AH territory.”
“It takes a village, and there’s a reason the neighbors don’t already have a village around them. NTA.” ~ Beth_Esda
“NTA OP – what the heck is wrong with not wanting to watch someone’s kids and for free.”
“There is nothing wrong with not even liking kids if you don’t like kids.”
“These parents are acting like their kids should be the responsibility of all other people.”
“Clearly, they didn’t think about the fact that the kids were their responsibility and no one else’s before they had the kids.” ~ IgnotusPeverill
“NTA, agreed. WTF am I reading?”
“People watch kids as a job; why would they expect a near stranger to do that stuff for free?”
“No is a complete sentence.”
“Found out that just starring helps if people going to argue.”
“Quiet, judgmental stares.” ~ rahrach
“NTA. OP, these people were massively trying to take advantage of you.”
“Good job putting your foot down, but screenshot and document everything in case you do need to get the police involved.” ~ crystallz2000
“NTA – there is a HUGE difference between a dog and 3 kids.” ~ Pronebasilisk
“Well, NTA of course.
“But I guess you could tell the neighbors that would do for their children what you did for the dog – walk them outside on leashes, let them pee and poop in the grass (be sure to use the scooper!) and let them sniff each other’s rear ends.” ~ Downtown_Evidence_46
“The mom accused me of not liking children.”
“Um… and what if it’s true? It’s not a crime.”
“I’m for helping my neighbors by running errands, helping the eldest with phone and pc, etc… but not with children.”
“I’m not into them, so I never babysit. It’s my right to choose if/when/how to help. NTA.” ~ 000-Hotaru_Tomoe
“NTA – First of all, your time is your own and they are not entitled to it.”
“Second, taking care of one dog is a lot different than taking care of three children.” ~ Forward_Squirrel8879
“NTA, also we don’t treat raising children as gross or criminal, in fact, we wholeheartedly invite parents to do it themselves.” ~ RatioNo1114
“NTA. Your neighbors sound entitled as hell.”
“Taking a dog out during your break is vastly different than watching 3 children!”
“And she wants you to do that daily!? Nope.”
“Entitled AF. You are NTA and good for you for not letting them guilt trip you.” ~ 0eozoe0
“NTA – they are on some other planet.”
“What on earth are they thinking – playdate with a dog does not equal free babysitting.” ~ Extra-Gas-5863
“NTA. Your neighbors are deluded and entitled to *demand* free babysitting from you.”
“Also many people find walking a dog to be a fun activity.”
“It is a great way to exercise as you are walking and it is relaxing.”
“It in no way compares with taking care of two toddlers for two hours every day on one’s lunch break.”
“Also doing a favor for a friend doesn’t mean that you *owe* everyone else in the world your time.”
“Most people do favors for friends and I am including the previous neighbor with the dog as a friend because presumably, they would have bonded over spending time with each other versus someone who just happens to live next door.”
“For a ‘casual’ neighbor I would help them in an emergency type of situation but certainly not in this situation where they are literally asking me to give up my free time on a daily basis to do something I have no interest in doing.” ~ Jujulabee
“NTA-You aren’t the village babysitter or the village birth control advisor.”
“You are in no way responsible to help care for their children.” ~ GothPenguin
“NTA. Wow, what a sense of entitlement!”
“Your dog played with another dog.”
“It’s not the same as babysitting three children… and you should do it for free.”
“And once you said no, they got pushy.”
“Did they think that would persuade you?”
“You handled it perfectly!”
“Of course, their sense of entitlement to your life and time will likely continue, but someday you will be telling this story and laughing.” ~ ClothesQueasy2828
“Wow, the fact that they can’t tell the difference between watching a dog that is likely snoozing on your sofa as opposed to three snot-nosed kids is baffling.”
“Perhaps go on NextDoor and suggest not having kids if they don’t want to take care of them. NTA!” ~ burghgirl17
“OMG your neighbors are entitled AH!”
“It never ceases to amaze me that people think it’s okay to use your personal time to help them out.”
“Especially on the daily…wow.”
“Whether you like children or not has nothing to do with it, and seriously speaking time with a low-maintenance dog can’t compare with watching 3 kids!!!”
“And if they’re anything like their entitled parents it would be a living nightmare.”
“If they don’t stop bothering you call the police.” ~ Drayden71
“NTA – What are these people on?”
“They chose to have the kid, you have no relationship with them other than proximity, why on earth would they think that entitles them to free childcare?” ~ Elivercury
“NTA. Babysitting isn’t something even teenagers do for free, why on earth would they think an adult neighbor would babysit for free IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR WORK DAY?”
“Also, what parent wants someone to watch their kid when they have already said no?”
“Nothing worse than a babysitter who doesn’t want to babysit.”
“The entitlement is STRONG with those two.” ~ mmwhatchasaiyan
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Your time is your time.
Hopefully, you and your neighbors can have a peaceful time going forward.