When it comes to other people’s love lives, pets, and parenting, so many people have a lot of unsolicited input.
Now a lot of it isn’t all bad.
And tons of it comes down to a mere difference of opinion.
But, there may be better ways than others to deliver these thoughts.
And better ways than others to react.
Case in point…
Redditor LetsTryRedditAgain wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for kicking out of the house my husband’s aunt who criticized my bond with my cat after having a baby?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hey everyone, I find myself in need of some judgment since my family is divided and I still think I’m not the AH.”
“I’m looking for your honest opinions to help me assess if I was in the wrong here.”
“I’m a woman in my late twenties, and I recently became a mother.”
“I have been absolutely loving every aspect of motherhood.”
“Alongside my newfound role as a mom, I have a cherished cat whom I have always shared a deep bond with.”
“Even after the arrival of my baby, I have made it a point to continue involving my cat in our family life.”
“We still go on little walks together around the garden just the two of us, and I make sure to spend quality time snuggling and bonding with her.”
“I also love how much my girl loves and cares for the baby.”
“During a visit from my husband’s family, his aunt decided to share their unsolicited opinion with me.”
“It was kinda out of the blue.”
“My cat is shy with people so she was in my room looking through the window.”
“When she wants my attention she makes a particular ‘meow.'”
“Husband told me and I went to check on her.”
“After I came back his aunt started going on about how having a cat around my baby could potentially be dangerous and implied that I should shift my focus away from my cat.”
“She said it was not natural and that I should just focus on the baby.”
“A cat is a cat.
“I told her to get out of my house NOW.”
“She was astonished and I told her it is extremely rude to go to other people’s houses and start to criticize how they live their lives especially when we barely have a relationship.”
“I have seen the woman three times in my life, one of them was the wedding.”
“She and her sister got out.”
“My husband told me I was right but I was rude and I could have said that in a better way.”
“My S[ister] I[n] L[aw], who was present, thinks I overreacted.”
“I told my best friend and she’s with me but she’s also a cat lover so I don’t know if it counts.”
“So Reddit AITA??”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP and everyone involved WAS the A**hole.
“Eh, Reddit will probably downvote me for this one but I am going with ESH.”
“Yes, your aunt was out of line for what she said.”
“But immediately jumping to kick her daughter out of your home because of it?”
“Yeah, that was an overreaction.”
“Has nothing to do with being a cat lover or not.” ~ schoobydoo42
“Although yes huge reaction, but I think if you consider postpartum her reaction isn’t really that out of the blue.”
“Hormones are still going absolutely wild so it seems completely understandable, NTA.”
‘Aunt should have known better than to go into a freshly new mom’s home and criticize her parenting choices.” ~ Hot_Abbreviations538
“Some folks don’t realize what an emotional/hormonal blender roller coaster postpartum can be.”
“Don’t come into my house where I have achieved a balance that works for me and is safe and healthy for everyone and then be shocked when I don’t want your negativity around me.”
“Nope nope nope, cut that off real quick.”
“Zero tolerance when my life and mental wellness are concerned.”
“Say hi, compliment the baby, visit, then go home.”
“None of that entailed telling OP what to do.” ~ imbringingspartaback
“I was all, have yall forgotten this woman just had a baby?”
“The hormones are surging and this woman is telling her she’s essentially a bad mother for being a loving cat owner.”
“THAT’S WHAT OP HEARD!!”
“She hears this woman she barely knows saying she’s screwing up being a mom because of this cat.”
“I would have laid into that woman for saying that crap when my daughter was an infant myself.”
“Did she overreact? A bit.”
“But this is a very trying and emotionally draining time.”
“Being a new parent is very daunting and every criticism feels like a knife in you because you’re stressed and sleep deprived.”
“NTA. Aunt should have kept her mouth shut.” ~ Jedisilk015
“I think you went too far with the expulsion.”
“You could have said everything you said and she would have withdrawn from the situation after the mood it would have gotten.”
“You lost your reason with unnecessary expulsion. ESH.” ~ someonewithapurpose
“As a cat lover myself, I have to go ESH, her remarks are uncalled for.”
“You can love both your baby and your cat, and although the focus should be your newborn baby it does not mean you have to neglect spending time with a beloved pet.”
“However to immediately throw her out of your house instead of just asking her to keep her opinion to herself or something seems like a huge overreaction.”
“I have to agree with your husband and SIL.” ~ BiscottiLonely8913
“The Aunt was rude but you could have brushed it off and ignored it.”
“You could have laughed in her face.”
“You could have said ‘Thanks for clarifying your opinion.'”
“You could have looked at your hubby and said ‘Wow does all your family share unsolicited opinions.'”
“You could have stared at her and then deliberately changed the subject.”
“Instead you went for the most drama-filled option. Why? ESH.” ~ CraftandEdit
“As my mom used to say ‘that explains, but it doesn’t excuse.'”
“But I think you realize that.”
“I know how hard it can be to determine whether you overreacted or not and it gets tricky to adjust enough but not too much (I myself tend to underreact when people disrespect me because I assume I’m being dramatic for feeling hurt, so yeah 😅).”
“So soft ESH because it was a bit much for this one comment only this one time, although the aunt was an AH for making it.”
“I think you should sit down with your husband and his aunt and apologize for going overboard.”
“Then you -or your husband since he needs to be on your team on this one and she is his aunt after all- should establish some boundaries with his aunt by telling her (calmly but firmly) that, although you reacted a tad too strongly this time, the cat is a member of the family.”
“That she was out of line and that she has to abstain from making unsolicited comments about you as a parent and/or your relationship with your cat if she wants to be allowed in your house going forward.”
“If she continues with the comments next time(s) you see her despite that conversation you will have ground for turning her away at the door.”
“Congrats on your new baby!” ~ Outrageous_Expert_49
“ESH. She was rude.”
“You may have overreacted, though.”
“Still, you’re a new mom, probably exhausted, and new moms got all kinds of sh*t opinions thrown at them.”
“In the big scheme of things, if you don’t care about the relationship with this person (not really knowing them and all), just move on.” ~ Cronically_Awkward
“ESH. You overreacted and she made a comment that was out of line.”
“You do need to be careful with your cat and infant though.”
“Many stories of cats smothering babies on accident.”
“I would try to keep the cat out of the infant’s room because of that.”
“Or at least away from the crib.” ~ Userdub9022
“ESH. I get that you’re upset about what she said, and she shouldn’t have said it at all.”
“But, unless this is something that has happened before, I do think you overreacted by immediately throwing her out.”
“If this is a first-time thing, you should have talked with her and explained how much your cat means to you and that you won’t tolerate that kind of discussion in your home from people who do not live there.”
“If she brings it up again, then you escalate.” ~ Simple_Lavishness460
“ESH. Your reaction was way over the top.”
“You had every right to tell her to please mind her own business, but you went next level and told her to get out of your house NOW.”
“This is your husband’s family.”
“Let him decide who gets kicked out for very slightly offensive comments.” ~ ClarityByHilarity
OP returned with some news…
“I agree with y’all, I overreacted.”
“I’m not going to try and justify myself I have to learn better coping skills for these situations and that’s on top of my list when I go back to therapy in 3 weeks.”
“Just taking a break after labor, adjusting to baby and home etc.”
“I would also like to say I don’t feel like apologizing but I will do it even though I will make clear she was out of line.”
“I must say this woman is a busybody and overstayed her welcome but I was rude and I admit it.”
“Cat and baby get along great.”
“Cat is protective and gentle towards the baby and we have had 0 issues.”
“On the other hand, I got a D[irect] M[essage] saying I should give my baby up for adoption like WTF?”
“That’s an overreaction… lol.”
“Thanks y’all for the feedback.”
Well, OP, Reddit had a ton to say on the matter.
But in the end, you resolved it to the best of your ability.
You’re in an emotional time, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
And good for you for being willing to admit fault and then be willing to learn from mistakes.
Good luck.