Back during my office worker days, I had a 30 minute commute to work every morning and another 30 minutes to get home.
And for most of my cubicle career, I carpooled with different coworkers, including my next door neighbor.
Traveling alone for an hour each day seemed wasteful and boring. And splitting the gas expense was a real moneysaver for us both.
But only 8.6% of workers in the United States carpool. The most common way American workers get to their job daily is driving alone in their own vehicle, at 81% of the workforce.
People cite the freedom to run errands after work as the primary reason for not carpooling, using public transportation, walking, or biking to work.
An officer worker who is reconsidering their own carpooling arrangement turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
BeginningJoke3830 asked:
“AITA for not giving my co-worker a ride after he didn’t spot me one dollar at the vending machine?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I usually give my co-worker a ride on the way back from work—usually driving 5 miles out of my way per day to drop him off at his place—because he doesn’t have a car. I’ve been doing that for about two years now and haven’t asked for anything, and he has never offered.”
“Yesterday, I was at the vending machine and wanted a soda. I was short a dollar and had left my wallet in my car.”
“I would usually go get my wallet, but it takes forever to wait for the elevators at my workplace, so I asked if he could spot me a dollar for the soda.”
“He straight up refused and said, ‘Just use your own money, man. I don’t really give money to friends or co-workers, sorry’.”
“I was taken aback by that comment because I’ve probably spent well over $1,500 in gas over the past two years for this guy, and he can’t even spot me a dollar just this once?”
“I got pretty upset by that, and once it hit 5pm, I told him I’m not giving him free rides anymore.”
“He seemed upset and said I was petty.”
“AITA?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“This came off as rather petty and I admit that.”
“Public transit is non existent and he’s a lower level employee who can’t afford a car, but I don’t see that as my problem anymore.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) for calling it quits on his free ride service.
“NTA. I wouldn’t even call it petty in my humble opinion. The co-worker doesn’t believe in involving money with friends (not a terrible idea) but completely ignores all the money you’ve spent on them over time.”
“I would imagine, even if they originally were, they are no longer appreciative of the rides and moreso expect them.”
“I think it would be best to no longer give rides as a favor and charge full value if you want to continue giving them. They’ve made it clear they would not do the same for you.”
“My brother used to be a server at a restaurant and gave a dishwasher a ride home for weeks. He never asked for anything, but did it just to help out.”
“He only stopped after he watched that dishwasher take money off his table while bussing it. Good deeds are great, but always be mindful of your surroundings.”
“Sometimes the cookie just isn’t enough for the mouse.” ~ Prestigious_Card16
“Plus OP only mentioned the cost of GAS, what about the wear and tear on the car? 5 miles M—F for 2 years adds up. The TIME SPENT also adds up. Dude owed OP like 3k+ and couldn’t spare a dollar.”
“He could’ve just lied and said he doesn’t have it, but na dude wanted to shamed him. ‘Sorry man I don’t give rides to coworkers.” ~ GNav
“The standard IRS reimbursement rate is $.70/mile. 5 miles at 5 days for 2 years is almost $1800. He should have ponied up the dollar to OP.” ~ sticksnstone
“It sounds like it’s time for OP to send their colleague an invoice. NTA.” ~ YummyThickNoodle
“NTA—and not petty, either. You just woke up, is all. This is simply not the kind of person to whom one donates $1,500 in gas and Lord-only-knows how much additional drive time over a 2-yr period.”
“You can choose to tell him, in explanation for why he is now cut off, ‘You’re right—good policy. I should never have spotted you that $1,500 in gas, and I should totally have charged you for my time during each 5-mile detour’.”
“Or you can tell him the truth: ‘You’re not the sort of person who deserves the sort of Act of Kindness from which you have been benefitting for the last two frickin’ YEARS’.” ~ Slaator
“NTA. You asked him for a small favour, and he refused and shamed you. You have no obligation to keep offering him a ride. However, you should know that this will drastically deteriorate your relationship, and they will make a big deal of it.” ~ Uldregirne
“NTA. This wasn’t a friendship anyway. This was one person using another for a free ride without any inclination to compensate them in any way.”
“I’ve given a dollar to a stranger at a vending machine when they were short, and that guy couldn’t give a dollar to someone he seemed to depend on for rides?” ~ Pimped_out_Prius
“What goes around comes around. I’d have done the same thing, or maybe at the moment, just said, but you’re happy to take money in the form of free rides from coworkers?”
“You know, shame him back. Tit for tat, but I’m…. well…. Petty.” ~ Novel_Fox
“NTA. I can’t imagine getting a ride home nightly for 2 years and never offering even a penny for gas! Then to get bent over being asked for a dollar? Your coworker is a sh*tty person.”
“How do you sit in a car with someone for 2 years completely comfortable with never contributing? If this situation ever occurs again, make an agreement—in writing via text or something—that they will pay you X amount for gas.”
“So when you needed to stop for gas on any of those occasions driving him home, he never once offered to pay? Didn’t you resent that at some point?” ~ NWFlint
“He’s lucky you didn’t say, ‘Just use your own car, man, or start giving me gas money. I don’t really give free rides to friends and co-workers.” ~ HyperactivePandah
“If I had a spare dollar on me and a complete stranger asked me for it I’d give it to them, wtf is wrong with him. I wouldn’t call it petty. I’d call it just desserts. NTA.” ~ Comfort_Not_Speed_50
“The person in line in front of me at an estate sale over the weekend was a few bucks short and before I could get my wallet out to offer to cover it THREE other people put their hands out with cash.”
“This was just an estate sale. I see this sometimes at grocery stores, but I never expected to see it between buyers of trinkets at an estate sale.”
“This isn’t petty, it’s karma for your stingy coworker.” ~ CLPDX1
“I remember soon after we combined finances my then fiance came home and mentioned that he’d covered part of someone’s groceries because they didn’t have enough cash for it.”
“He wanted me to know since it was on our joint card and asked if I minded/wanted him to account for it when we made that month’s payment. Obviously, I didn’t mind at all, and I’m glad I married someone whose instinct is always to help out.”
“Helping people out is basic community stuff. We can’t always, but when we can and here the price is a dollar? It should be a default.”
“And that’s before adding in the ongoing favors from OP and that he offered to pay back the dollar immediately.” ~ GimerStick
“NTA—turns out that dollar was pretty expensive for him after all. ‘I thought about it, and you’re absolutely right, so I don’t really give free rides to friends or coworkers. I’m sure you understand perfectly, as it fits with your credo’.” ~ jeremyism_ab
“Better still, ‘You’re right—you’ve opened my eyes to a new outlook on life. Previously, I would do favors and acts of kindness for friends and coworkers, but your stance has changed mine. I’ve decided to be more like you, so moving forward, I won’t be giving you rides—which cost me both time and money.”
“Coworker will be surprised to find that Uber surge pricing or even a bus pass costs more than a dollar.” ~ InfinMD2
“OP’s coworker could’ve said, ‘sorry mate, I just don’t have a dollar on me. Any other time I got you tho’ and that would have made all the difference.”
“But he basically said, ‘I got it on me, but not to give to you’.” ~ donniesuave
“NTA. But 2 years of free rides home? Unless someone lived on my way home, there’s just no way.”
“And even then, I wouldn’t ask for anything, but if you’re getting in my car for free and not offering anything—not even a soft drink or a packet of crisps or something minuscule—then you will be using your 2 feet to get home.”
“As someone else pointed out, a dollar‽‽ I’d gladly give that to a stranger.”
“You give this co worker rides for 2 years they should be jumping at the chance to get you something.”
“People like this just take, take, take, and see nothing wrong. Always cheap as hell.” ~ Kitchen_Wafer785
This coworker made what they think of the OP clear.
They can’t fault the OP now for responding appropriately.