It’s never a fun feeling when our words get misconstrued.
Particularly when our nearest and dearest are offended by something we said that was meant to cause anything but offense.
When people try to twist our words into something completely different than what we meant, however, that can be frustrating to the point of infuriating.
Especially if they are also trying to vilify us in the process.
A recent Redditor and their friends were sharing things they’d accomplished that made them particularly proud.
The original poster (OP) knew exactly what they were most proud of accomplishing.
Unfortunately for the OP, not only did their friends not share their pride in this accomplishment, but they also felt the OP was being mean for being proud of it.
Having some doubts about their behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for sharing my weight loss as ‘what I’m proud I accomplished this year’? My friend says it’s fatphobic.”
The OP shared how their accomplishment rubbed their friends the wrong way:
“The other night, my friends and I were talking about what we’re proud about accomplishing so far this year.”
“We went around the room to share a few things and hype each other up.”
“This was a group of 5 people.”
“My first one was losing 40+ lbs of weight since July 2024 and still being consistent.”
“Between you and me, 30% of the reason why I lost weight was for health, but the other 70% was for looks.”
“Being overweight doesn’t look good on my frame, and I feel and look much better.”
“I’m also losing the weight slowly and healthily, with whole foods and calorie counting, and not once have I felt starved or obsessive over my food.”
“But, I didn’t even say all that.”
“I only said, ‘I’ve lost 40 pounds and counting and I feel so much better’.”
“I mentioned other things too (career + mental health accomplishments), but I noticed everyone was kinda quiet when I said my first one.”
“Very long story short, one of my friends later told me that she didn’t want to hype up my weight loss accomplishment because she said it has twinges of ‘fatphobia’ in it.”
“That, unless I lost weight for health alone, to do it for looks is unhealthy and has roots in fatphobia.”
“That my biggest accomplishment shouldn’t be about making myself smaller.”
“What gets me is that all of my friends are skinny and have been their entire lives.”
“It’s just feels a bit rich coming from them.”
“I have also never, ever mentioned my weight loss goals to them, rubbed it in their face, or put them down nor insulted fat people, because I just don’t think that way.”
“It definitely put a sour taste in my mouth.”
“If I can guess what my friend would say if she spoke about this topic further, her question would be, ‘Why do you perceive yourself as looking better when you’re thin versus when you’re fat?'”
“‘You must value skinniness over fatness — or consider it more beautiful — and that is fatphobic.”
“Idk, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for sharing how proud they were of their weight loss.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s remarks were anything but fat-phobic, and that her friends were being anything but friend-like towards her:
“People who are skinny their whole lives have no idea how difficult it is to lose a fair amount of weight.”
“You deserve to feel good about your accomplishment!”
“NTA.”- sevenfourtime
“NOT fatphobic.”
“Celebrating accomplishment!”
“NTA.”- West_House_2085
“NTA.”
“Losing weight is hard work!”
“I get it.”
“I’ve lost 50 lbs and am afraid to post on social media.”
“I know I’d get the same reaction you’re getting.”
“It sucks that you can’t share your success.”- copi0us
“NTA.”
“Your friends should celebrate your accomplishments with you, not be against you.”
“Congratulations on looking and feeling better!”
“I’m proud of you.”- crowquills
“People are always overly sensitive when other people accomplish what they themselves won’t, but wish they did.”
“Its easier to tear other people down to their level than it is to do what it takes to elevate themselves higher.”
“NTA.”- everydaydefenders
By definition, fat phobia is being prejudiced against people who are overweight.
Never once did the OP say she had anything against overweight individuals, simply that she is now feeling physically and mentally healthier.
Something she has every right to be proud of.
If her friends can’t accept that, then maybe these aren’t the sort of friends the OP should be spending time with.