Allergies are so unfortunate.
So many people miss out on having the love of a fur baby.
Dander and hair get everywhere.
It can cause a lot of personal problems in relationships.
Once it’s on one’s clothes, people take allergens outside the home.
Redditor Tessy2027 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for keeping my cat even though my roommate’s B[oy]F[riend] is allergic?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My roommate whom I have 10 months left on the lease with is demanding I get rid of the cat l adopted two weeks ago because her boyfriend is allergic and is having ‘severe’ allergic reactions even when he is not around my apartment or my roommate.”
“She knew he was allergic before I adopted the cat and told me I could get the cat if I took precautions to reduce the allergens.”
“An expectation was set that we would see how things go for two weeks – I really meant a little longer than that, but she took it literally.”
“I foolishly said that if, in a week or two after trying the stuff to reduce allergens, then I’d see about rehoming the cat.”
“I know this was dumb, and it was dumb for both of us to agree to this, as I don’t think I could ever actually get rid of a cat like that, especially one that is as sweet and cute and perfect as mine.”
“Her boyfriend hasn’t taken any allergy medication because he feels it’s unnecessary.”
“So now my roommate basically texted me demanding that it’s been two weeks and that it’s not working out and that I have to get rid of my cat.”
“My roommate says she doesn’t want her boyfriend to be allergic to her and is asking when she can expect the cat to be gone.”
“I’ve gone above and beyond to limit the allergens – buying allergy-reducing food, allergy-reducing spray, air purifier, vacuuming regularly, buying Claritin for the boyfriend – and I feel my roommate’s boyfriend should at least try taking allergy medication.”
“He’s acting like I’m asking him to take crazy illegal drugs.”
“I think she’s scared that he’s not going to want to hang out with her anymore.”
“It’s creating a lot of tension, and she’s saying that I’m going back on our agreement.”
“However, I think she needs to wait longer because the allergen-reducing food I have takes 3-4 weeks to even start kicking in, and I think her BF needs to try allergy meds.”
“I don’t want to get rid of her; she is also my E[motional] S[ecurity] A[nimal], and I have legal documentation stating that.”
“If I absolutely have to, I can move her to my boyfriend’s house, who has no pets, but I really don’t want to, and I think she’s being a bit unreasonable since her boyfriend doesn’t live with us and technically should have no say anyways.”
“I acknowledge that there is a certain level of not coolness in me technically going back on our agreement, but neither of us should have even agreed to that.”
“I have a third roommate who is chill with the cat, and I forgot to add that his last GF apparently had a cat.”
“So his allergies couldn’t have been that bad.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Would I be the a**hole if I kept my cat?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, the boyfriend doesn’t live there. I would prepare to move out or get a different roommate, though.” ~ MtnNerd
“If bro hasn’t even tried medicine, then your roommate has no right to demand that of you. NTA.” ~ blobfishhhhhh
“LOL. I can’t help but think bf is attempting one of the most passive-aggressive breakups of all time.” ~ whatthetortoisesaid1
“He is unwilling to try meds.”
“So you can’t assume they wouldn’t work if he never tried.”
“Also, he doesn’t live there.”
“He’s putting restrictions on a household he can choose to avoid.”
“My dad was allergic to cats in a crazy way.”
“He had a serious allergic reaction just from sitting on a couch in a home when their cat had passed away a month before.”
“He had a close friend and coworker with whom he shared an office.”
“My dad took allergy pills, and the guy changed his sweater/jacket, whatever, when he came into the office, and they never had a problem.”
“The issue is this boyfriend is trying to make everyone adapt to him, and he doesn’t live there.”
“If he had a severe peanut allergy, would it be acceptable for him to forbid all his girlfriend’s roommates from eating peanut butter?”
“This is purely a him thing.”
“They can sleep at his place, and her roommate can change clothes when she leaves the house.”
“The entitlement is staggering.” ~ Sloth_Bee
“I think it’ll be hard to tell how much the special food even works because it sounds like he is exaggerating or misattributing his symptoms.”
“If he’s having allergic reactions when he’s not at your house and also when your roommate isn’t even around (??), he either has such a strong cat allergy that he probably needs to be on meds all the time just to go out in public, or your cat is not the problem here.”
“But he thinks it is, and it’s convenient for him to ask you to be the only one to sacrifice here.”
“Either way, I don’t think the food will be enough—if he’s being honest about the severity of his allergy, he probably will never be able to comfortably visit a home with cats, and if he’s not, he’ll stick to his guns because he’s already decided what he wants.” ~ Merle8888
“NTA. It sucks that he’s allergic, but he doesn’t have more of a right to be comfortable in your home than you do.”
“You’re paying rent, he’s not.”
“They can spend time together outside of your home.”
“And I think he’s lying about having a reaction to the cat dander on his girlfriend outside of the home.”
“If he’s that allergic to your cat, he’ll be that allergic to a lot of cats, and be having reactions every day to dander on complete strangers.”
“If he were really that allergic to everyday life, he’d be on medication already.” ~peakerforlife
“Does he live there???”
“My entire family is allergic, and I have a cat.”
“If they visit, they know to take their allergy meds.”
“If they stay for a few days, they get a little stuffed up regardless. 🤷🏻♀️”
“NTA, though it wasn’t wise to say you would rehome the cat.” ~ FoodNo672
“It’s not his home, it’s yours.”
“She can go to HIS place to hang if she wants. “
“At least this should keep him from moving in! NTA.” ~ tarmaq
“NTA. Obviously, you should not have even entertained the idea of re-homing the cat, and it is not a promise you should feel any need to follow through on for the sake of someone who isn’t paying rent or contributing to the costs of the home.”
“I would maybe start looking for a new roommate/new living situation.” ~ No-Assignment5538
“NTA. I know somebody terribly allergic to cats.”
“They have come over many a time.”
“All I do is clean my sheets and keep my cat separate from us for a period of time.”
“She takes some medication, and while there are some sniffles here and there, it’s nothing near serious.”
“If somebody is truly having regular allergic reactions that are impeding their quality of life, I heavily doubt they would be unwilling to take medication.”
“His ability not to compromise, in a home that he doesn’t even contribute to, is not your problem.”
“You’ve taken precautions and have been mindful- buying new food, medication, and reducing pet hair around living spaces.” ~ fayegopop
“Light ESH because of you agreeing to the terms.”
“Boyfriend needs to try medicine, and if he’s not willing to, then get your friend to give him money to go get her some clothes to keep ‘uncontaminated’ at his place for her to change into when she visits.”
“Having severe reactions when he’s not around either of you makes me suspicious.” ~ SaltShock
“I’m a crazy cat dad now, and love our 4-footed roommates.”
“I am allergic to cats and did a broad allergen test.”
“I did not react to cats, so they told me cat allergy meds wouldn’t work.”
“I know nothing about the layout of your place, and I’m assuming keeping them just in your space is not an option.”
“Sucks, but if you agreed to conditions as part of the roomie’s acceptance, then I think you need to abide by them. 😞.” ~ WaySuspicious216
“NTA, the allergens of people that aren’t on the lease and don’t pay rent are not your concern.”
“Also, that’s not how pet allergens work.”
“I’d suggest reading up on it.”
“If her boyfriend was THAT allergic to a cat that not being around the allergens gives him allergies, then how do you know it’s YOUR cat?”
“As opposed to his boss’s cat, or the cashier at the grocery store, or his best friend’s sister???” ~ kurious-katttt
“Your roommate was insane to agree to this, but she did, so now she is going to have to be realistic.”
“You are not getting rid of your cat.”
“The boyfriend can take allergy medication or suffer.”
“He doesn’t live there, and he doesn’t get a vote. NTA.” ~ Shortestbreath
For the most part, Reddit is with you, OP.
Your roommate’s BF is not a tenant.
If he has a problem, then he should do something about it.
At the very least, he could try the allergy pills.
Hopefully, you can keep your kitty.
Good Luck.