Sometimes, younger siblings can't help but get into their older siblings' belongings.
This can be a HUGE issue when it comes to clothes, especially when the borrowed clothes are returned damaged.
Redditor Sporta_narres found themselves in a personal dilemma regarding their sister's bad behavior, so they turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
They asked:
"AITAH for uninviting my sister to my 17th birthday party after she stole my prom dress and destroyed it?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"So I have a younger sister, Bella, who is 15."
"The best way to describe her would be as a brat, and a spoiled one at that."
"She gets whatever, whenever, wherever she wants."
"Good grades? New iPhone."
"She fails a test?"
"Oh, she's just stressed, let's get her ice cream to make her feel a wee bit better."
"Meanwhile, I have to work a part-time job at a cafe to buy my own things."
"My senior prom is coming up."
"I've been saving my tips for 3-4 months to buy this gorgeous silk vintage dress online."
"It cost 250 bucks (and a whole lotta nerves)."
"It arrived last week, and it was literally perfect. "
"Having admired it, I put it into my closet so that Bella wouldn't get her chubby little fingers on it."
"Yesterday I came home from school and saw Bella in the kitchen, wearing MY DRESS."
"She was making a stupid TikTok, the concept of which I actually never understood."
"Like whats the benefit?"
"You're basically being a clown in a digital circus."
"Whatever."
"So, there she was, dressed in my prom dress, which I worked my a** off for, holding a milkshake in her hands or some purple juice."
"Wasnt my main focus at the moment."
"Before I could even scream, she spun around, tripped, and spilled the entire glass of that purple juice all over the front of MY silk dress."
"IT'S RUINED."
"COMPLETELY AND ABSOLUTELY STAINED BECAUSE OF HER STUPID MANIA OF MAKING DUMBA** TIKTOKS!!!"
"I screamed."
"Like, actually screamed."
"I started crying immediately."
"My mom ran in."
"She saw the dress and saw me crying."
"Instead of yelling at Bella, she told ME to calm down."
"She said something in the lines of 'Hey, calm down, stop crying. Bella just wanted to look pretty. We can dry it out and wash it off; it wasn't her fault. Look, she is sad too about what happened.'"
"Bella wasnt sad, or maybe she was, a little bit."
"She was looking at her phone, tears swelling, while constantly tapping and swiping."
"The only thing that little brat was sad about was the ruined TikTok."
"I told them that Bella is banned from my birthday dinner this weekend (we were arranging to go to a nice sushi place with family, where we usually go to big events cuz of the insane atmosphere, it's like a garden-themed neon-lighted Japanese village)."
"I said that I don't even wanna look at her, nor talk to her."
"Like, the brat owes me 250 bucks and a f*cking therapy session."
"I was saving up for this dress for like 4 months."
"My dad stepped in and said that I am actually being the brat and that I was very vindictive and that this type of behavior is not appreciated in this family."
"Yeah, but taking other people's clothes without their consent and ruining them is, apparently."
"And that I can't exclude my sister from the family because of some clothes."
"They said if Bella can't come, they aren't paying for the dinner at all."
"I told them to cancel the dinner then because it wasn't just fabric to me."
"It was hours of hard work, sweat, burnt out nerves."
"The worst thing is that Bella hasn't even considered apologizing."
"She just gives me a disgusted smug look like I'm the one who ruined her dress over a stupid a** TikTok.
"So, yeah."
"It is what it is."
"At least I've got my dignity, right?"
The OP was left to wonder:
"AITAH?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"NTA. The sad reality is that your parents suck."
"But the good news is, you'll be able to grow up into so much more than your sister will ever manage."
"It's a small comfort now, but I know your life is going to be AMAZING real soon and you deserve every bit of it!"
"Your sister and/or parents do absolutely owe you that money, by the way."
"But you're never going to see it."
"I hope you can find another dress for prom."
"Your sister is the golden child, and you are the scapegoat, that will never change."
"Get yourself free of them and go to college and have a good life without them." ~ FeralBorg
"Do you have any other relatives?"
"If so, do they know about your parents' behavior with you?"
"Maybe an intervention can be useful."
"I'm sure they'll say that you're 'venting your problems in public,' but it's not helping you."
"On the other side, do you have a closer friend where you can leave your things (the ones you really love/need)?"
"Or buy a safe."
"I know they are expensive as hell, but it could be useful."
"NTA and be sure that your sister will suffer when she grows up."
"The bicycle of consequences rarely got braces when the rock of life is closer." ~ Electronic-Drink559
"It might be time for you to store anything valuable to you under lock and key."
"A footlocker with a combo lock in your bedroom and a lock on the knob to your bedroom door."
When your Mom starts whining, tell her it is because she is raising a young thief." ~ CapableOutside8226
"Remind your mom she's probably raising a future criminal, and the real world won't be so nice to brat Bella when she finally makes it out, and mommy and daddy won't be able to save her anymore."
"I hope you're able to go low contact with them in the future, they sound f**king miserable, and they can all be miserable together without you... lol." ~ videogamekat
"I'm so sorry your parents are raising a spoiled brat."
"And you probably already know this deep down, but she spilled that drink on purpose."
"Sissy is in for a world of hurt if she tries this behavior out in the real world, where she, hopefully, will finally face real consequences." ~ Worldly-Grade5439
"Try taking the dress to a bridal shop."
"They have experience bringing dresses back to life."
"Or they will know where to get it done."
"Your family sucks!"
"Your sister is an a**hole."
"When you turn 18, leave."
"Get a room share, go to grandparents or an aunt or uncle, JUST GO!!"
"They see no value in you or your things."
"I hate that for you, OP."
"Good luck."
"Contact the bridal shop and inquire about their restoration services." ~ gigidiva13
"I came here to say this."
"OP needs to be looking at community colleges (in the US, it can be free in some cases), get an appointment with your school counselor, and tell him or her all that's going on."
"The counselor will assist with FAFSA, explain different types of aid and loans, help you apply to colleges, and all the things - specifically, going on the assumption that you won't be getting help from family."
"To that end, the counselor can brainstorm other families who might possibly step up, practicalities like personal documentation, state medical insurance, and housing programs."
"Connect you with the mental health resources and services you definitely need to take advantage of."
"I'm so sorry, OP."
"I know my input sounds very dry."
"I don't mean to sound cold, my heart breaks for you."
"But I want the very best outcome for you under these stupid, shi**y circumstances, and you must have plans and all the support you can possibly get."
"Let people help, let them love you, keep your head and your grades up, get solid part-time employment and save for a vehicle, pay for your phone and data plan, learn to navigate local transportation, hydrate, floss…"
"I know this is A LOT."
"Overnight, everything has changed, and it's sad and overwhelming."
"But it's one thing for Reddit to say 'just throw your toxic family away' and quite another to absorb just what that means."
"Some very young people on this thread seem to think mom and dad are still going to support you after you cut them off, while you're still dependent."
"Gently- children, you can't lob a grenade at your parents (no matter how well deserved) and think they're going to take you to sushi."
"Sending all my love, OP."
"Holding your hand." ~ Hot-Fishing9744
"You know I'm the guy who ALWAYS disagrees with Reddit and says Reddit overreacts to small things."
"Their answer is ALWAYS to dump the other guy and move on."
"But if everything you said is true, you might actually be justified in doing that to your own parents and your sister."
"I was INFURIATED reading what you wrote."
"I wish you success."
"Never rely on them for anything, and start taking care of yourself."
"There WILL be a day when they need your help, and that's the day for you to tell them, 'Oops, sorry! This sounds as important as my prom, but you'll learn to compromise the way I did.'"
"The best revenge is for you to live a full and successful life."
"Go get that revenge, girl!" ~ Dull-Ninja-7526
Reddit has your back, OP.
You deserve to be treated better than this.
Hopefully, the dress is salvageable.
Try to smile.
Good Luck.
Expectant Dad Of Two Livid After Brother Questions Why He'd Bring Another Kid Into Bleak World
It's no secret that a lot of people are struggling right now, from the cost of living to job insecurity to food insecurity to poor housing. But that doesn't mean we have to stop living.
For many people, that means still starting and growing their families, while planning how to navigate the world we're currently in, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor DesignerOwn1141 and his wife knew that the world around them wasn't at its best right now, but they were eager to grow their family and were excited to bring a third child into the world.
When they announced their pregnancy, his brother's first reaction was to send him articles about how the world was doomed and shame him for bringing a child into it; the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he needed to block his own brother.
He asked the sub:
The OP and his wife were excited to welcome a third child into their family.
"I am 33 and male. My wife is 29."
"We have two sons, a six-year-old boy and a three-year-old boy. Both are happy, healthy, and well taken care of."
"We love being parents to them, and I work very hard to provide a good life for my family."
"My wife is four months pregnant with our third."
The OP's brother's life was very different from his.
"My younger brother has been something of a failure-to-launch case."
"Despite having every advantage, he never got good grades in school, was addicted to 'League of Legends' so severely that he barely scraped by, and spends his days streaming games to nearly no viewers on Twitch."
"I've watched his stream a few times, but he just rages constantly."
"My wife is too classy to ever say so, but I can tell he makes her uncomfortable."
"He's my brother, so I've long wanted to believe he's just bad at communicating with people, but to be frank, he's sort of just an a**hole. He's unapologetic whenever he says something hurtful and more likely to just double down and say, 'No cap.'"
"But if anyone so much as challenges his views, he throws a huge fit."
The OP tried to share his happy news with his brother, but his brother immediately squandered it.
"Recently, we announced she was pregnant with our third child. It's a joyous occasion for us because we wanted three children, and our other two sons are excited about having another brother or sister."
"When I texted my brother the news, he immediately said he couldn't imagine having children with the world the way it was."
"I asked what he meant, and he started sending me these articles about global warming, the plague in Russia, wars around the world, and so on."
"He seems convinced that the world is going to end in ten years tops, and that I'm only bringing up another child to die in the 'water wars.'"
"I was honestly disgusted with him. To tell someone that their unborn child is going to die, that their other children are going to die, is absolutely abhorrent behavior."
"But since he's always been a sensitive s**thead, I just said, 'Whatever, man,' and stopped reading his texts."
"He wouldn't stop. He kept sending me every doomer article. He said that when the clouds evaporate, the earth is going to get 15 degrees hotter. He said that AI is going to hack every government database. He said that China is going to invade Taiwan, and then it'll be war with the US and allies against Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran."
The OP had had enough of his brother's negative feedback.
"Finally, I just told him I was blocking him and thought little of the decision."
"He went and cried to our parents (again, he's the most sensitive s**tbag in the world), and they told me what I did was over the top."
"I know that if I unblock him, he's just going to doomspam me again."
"Am I wrong for just straight-up saying I never want him in my life again?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that they understood why he felt the need to distance himself from his brother.
"NOR. He sounds insufferable."
"He sounds like one of those people who doesn't like his life and so wants everyone else to be miserable too, or makes excuses for why he didn't do more with his life by blaming his problems on some external crisis." - savingrain
"NOR. He's allowed to protect his peace, especially if his brother keeps ignoring boundaries and turning every conversation into another end-of-the-world prediction, and having kids is hardly a reason to apologize for trying to build a good life despite everything going on." - Upper-Cloud9097
"NOR. But your brother is on his way to a full mental breakdown. Send him back cute dog and cat videos. Cute horse videos. Ozzy animal voiceovers."
"Eventually his phone will start thinking he's like me and his feed will calm down." - Present_Original_797
"I mean, my beliefs and thoughts about the future are along the same lines as him, and that’s why I’m an anti-natalist, but there’s something called tact. And personal choice/autonomy."
"If someone chooses to have kids, that’s their choice, and I’d keep my opinions to myself and be supportive, especially if they’re a family member. Spreading doomer content is extremely insensitive and rude. NOR." - EngineerGold4242
"NOR: I wonder whether your brother is displaying sibling jealousy towards you and your family; he recognizes his own shortcomings and can see where he is in life compared to you, and that is his major issue."
"Days filled with unfulfilling computer games and doomspamming others, he has a lot of maturing to do. Block him until or unless he decides to join the adult world and be the uncle he is supposed to be." - iron_redditman
"NOR. I have all those fears and as such actively avoid news about them. I skipped whole paragraphs here for that reason too, lol."
"I’d definitely block my sibling or anybody else who did that to me. I already know all these things; I don’t need constant reminders. All I can do is work on improving my little corner of the world and trudge forward."
"Anyway, protect your peace." - hahagato
"You are not obligated to bond with someone just because you share blood. It’s your peace and your family that you need to protect now. If you decide to go zero contact, it’s perfectly okay!"
"Especially because you and your wife are in charge of two, almost three, little guys, and your mental peace affect directly to them."
"PS. Historically, the world has always been on the edge, but nothing stops us to be what we are, humans trying to get over all the s**t! So don’t let those bad things put you down. We can build a better world by raising kind, lovely people, and it seems you and your wife are doing it. Good luck!" - Camigatoespinace92
Others advised the OP to involve his parents in case they could help his brother.
"Unblock him and then send everything he texts you to both mom and dad. No comments, just forward it."
"They'll think you're sending it, and when they complain, you can tell them that you thought they'd be interested in your brother's articles as well."
"NOR." - No_Address687
"NOR. Your parents don't know the half of it. Forward everything and let them read it for themselves." - Available_Agent3305
"NOR. I’d keep him blocked; your parents are wrong. If you want to be petty, start sending your parents article after article of stuff you know they won’t like. They will get the hint soon enough." - OldieButNotMoldy
"I would also go low contact with the OP's parents. OP is clearly NOT the favorite son. Any boundaries he put up with his brother will be considered wrong. NOR." - Interesting_Novel997
"NOR, but also my first reaction is that your brother isn't a 'sensitive s**tbag,' he is struggling with anxiety/depression and maybe undiagnosed neurodivergence and is drowning in his own ruminations. None of that makes this an appropriate response to a pregnancy announcement; it's clearly not. But he sounds like someone who is clearly struggling here."
"If it were me, I'd be sending your parents anything he previously sent you. If they share your concern after reading a few articles, maybe they'll take steps to help him." - 2kidsnomoney---
"NOR. I'm sorry to say this, OP, but your brother has not been socialized normally. He is a chronically online loser who thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and does not understand there are no consequences because there are often no consequences when he does it in a league match or online."
"It frankly sounds like your concern for him and his future is budding into resentment and contempt, and I feel like, as most brothers would, those are not the feelings you want to hold towards him."
"I have a brother like this. He was diagnosed as an adult with Asperger’s and now just a spectrum autism diagnosis, but he’s a real a**."
"You may have to unblock him to communicate fairly. It may be worth doing this in person because it’s easier for the chronically online to 'craft' their retort rather than be a part of a conversation."
"Before you can do that, though, you need to sit down with your parents. You need to explain and be able to articulate that:"
"1. His reaction to the wonderful news of you having another child crossed the line and was inappropriate."
"2. There need to be reasonable consequences or boundaries because you are no longer willing to put up with that."
"3. It is his call at this point whether or not he wants to be in your life and your children’s lives."
"You have to have their buy-in; otherwise they are just going to continue to coddle and enable this behavior."
"Then you need to sit down with him and your parents, intervention style. You need to present the same argument you did to your parents, and in all honestly, I would question him in return: what was he hoping would have been the outcome of that conversation?"
"Did he want you to say he’s so right, so smart? Did he want you to go to your wife and tell her to abort? Does he feel like he is in a place in his life where he can be your family planner and manager? When he crosses a line, what does he feel should happen?"
"Only when he is directly confronted, and you have the right supports in place, can he be presented with how his behavior affected you and what that could possibly mean for his relationship with you and your growing family." - allison_mossie
The subreddit understood feeling burdened by so much negative information during what should be a happy time of planning and anticipating a new addition to the family, but the OP needed time to think about what he wanted his larger family dynamic to look like.
That might mean removing his brother, so that the OP could protect his own, and by extension, his wife's and children's, mental health, but it might mean minimizing contact with other people, too, if they weren't willing to respect the OP's boundaries he had for his family's life.