Sometimes, people demand something from us and we are absolutely blindsided by the level of entitlement these humans seem to have. How are we to meet that demand reasonably without nearly laughing in their faces?
Reddit user Super_Pizza2985 found himself in a rather outlandish situation where his roommate demanded she and her boyfriend get to keep his apartment because it was working out great for them.
Completely and totally gobsmacked by the audacity of this moment, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” to get a little perspective on how he handled it.
He asked:
“AITA for not wanting to leave my own apartment?”
Our original poster, or OP, set the stage upon which his roommate made such a ridiculous demand.
“I’ll keep this vague to avoid recognition since I’m believe the parts involved actually use reddit.”
“I’m a 28 year old male, and I’ve been friends with my roommate, a 25 female, ever since we were babies.”
“Our families were neighbors and we grew up together. She’s like a little sister to me and has always been.”
These old friends now live together.
“After she graduated college she moved to the same city I currently work in, and since she couldn’t find an apartment close enough to where she worked I told her she could live with me. We’d share bills and become roommates.”
“We never really had problems or fights as we known each other for so long. However, recently, things taken a strange turn. She got involved with someone from her work.”
This new boyfriend seems to have some hang-ups.
“The guy seemed to be a nice guy. I only ever spoken to him three times as they usually keep to her room. But he was very friendly and honestly I was happy she found someone who seemed that nice.”
“After a few months of their relationship, she sent me a text saying she needed to talk with me. I figured there might be something wrong with the apartment.”
“It’s not uncommon for things to break.”
“But I was wrong. When I got home we started to talking. It’s too long to write everything, so I’ll just summarize.”
OP and his roommate had a surprising conversation.
“She told me that while she enjoyed living with me, her boyfriend was starting to get jealous of his woman living with another man.”
“At first I raised an eyebrow but thought that this kind of thing isn’t uncommon. So I was like ‘Oh, it’s fine. Just let me know when you plan on leaving, hope you two find a good place!'”
“However, apparently I was wrong.”
“She told me that she wasn’t leaving.”
“She said that it was impossible to find someone closer to her work and that she was hoping I would let her take the apartment instead, since my work wasn’t close and all that.”
“Thing is, I really love my place. It’s close to the gym, to the grocery store, to pretty much everything.”
“I’m not gonna just leave my place because of something so stupid as this, and I told that flat out that it wasn’t going to happen.”
OP’s roommate was very upset.
“She got visibly upset and started to rant about me being an egoistical a**hole. That I didn’t have empathy to put myself in her shoes.”
“This happened a few days ago, and she’s shut herself in her room only ever leaving to go to work or to pick up her boyfriend, who became really unfriendly to me after that.”
“Now, usually, I can be an a**hole. But I don’t think this was one of these times.”
“So I thought I would ask for Reddit’s verdict.”
“Am I really such an a**hole?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
All agreed OP was not at fault here.
“Lemme get this straight: you have known her for over TWO DECADES. You welcome her into your home, and now she expects you to leave so she can live with her jealous BF that she’s just gotten on with?”
“NTA, bro, she is. Big time. Look at how she treats someone who is like a sibling.”~meatcube
“NTA. Why, siblings (or almost siblings) can be entitled/stupid too! Lol”
“Some people just can’t help themselves!”
“Few years ago , I was looking for a place to rent when I moved to new place for a contract job, there were a couple of others in the same situation.”
“So we thought the group look for a 2/3 bedroom to share. Mean everybody was also secretly looking for single spots and moved in separately, they told after they’ve finalized their plans.”
“So I had to do the same and found something (a bit more expensive because it was at the last minute and I couldn’t stay longer in a hotel ).”
“One of them didn’t like their roommates and called me asking if I wanted to move out of my room and search for a new place to share with them.”
“I laughed to myself and politely declined. I should’ve laughed in their face and asked them if they were for real!”~risfun
“NTA – it was your place first, and she’s the one having an issue with the living situation. If her new bf has such a problem with her living with you then he should offer her to move in with him.”
“What she ends up doing is totally her choice but you shouldn’t be forced to move and I think she’s being incredibly unreasonable.”~Academic_Nobody_4964
“NTA. Your friend is acting like an entitled idiot but I’m more concerned that a guy she’s known for about 5 seconds has her trying to get rid of you to appease his jealousy.”
“If you care about your friend let her know you’re still on her side but the boyfriend’s behaviour is controlling and dangerous too.”
“www.loveisrespect.org is a good place to start, but your friend might be too deep to see the problem here, all you can do is highlight the boyfriend’s behaviour but don’t give up your apartment.”~Blobfish_Blues
The audacity of his roommate to suggest he is at fault for not agreeing to step aside for her controlling boyfriend was not lost on the Redditors who weighed in.
“NTA. You let her live in YOUR place with you. If she doesn’t want to live with you anymore, she can fucking move.”
“She’s being really selfish and entitled and honestly it sounds like you may consider her a friend, but she only considers you a friend when you do things for her and give her her way.”~the_last_basselope
“NTA – WTF did I just read?”
“She moves into your place to begin with, gets a jealous bf – and is now mad that you‘re not moving out when your only part in creating this situation is that you were kind enough to take her in?”
“That‘s just ridiculous. She needs to leave. And don‘t even get me started on her weirdo bf.”~FeedThePug
“NTA. You originally lived in the apartment on your own and let her be your roommate because she couldn’t afford another place.”
“Now her turning around to this is ridiculous. Give her 30 days to vacate and wash your hands of this issue.”
“When I say ‘this issue’, I mean her as well. You’ve been friends since childhood and she’s turning this on you for a new relationship.”
“Her ego is the one that’s out of check. You had empathy when you let her live with you.”~cheffyjayp
“NTA Listen up, OP. Don’t you dare question your decision or feel guilty about remaining in the home you were living in before you offered her a place to stay!”
“Be calm and rational when she offers her ridiculous arguments.”
“You’re egotistical. Okay…ask her to explain how it’s egotistical for you to remain in the apartment you were living in prior to her moving in. There’s no reasonable answer to that bc it’s not egotistical!”
“You have no empathy. Untrue – you told her you understood her position and there would be no hard feelings if she decided to move out.”
“When she says these things, what she really means is ‘this is what I want. I don’t care if it’s the right or fair thing because I want it so now you should do it.’”
“Talk about a lack of empathy and over-inflated ego.”
“Please do not give in to her absurd demands to upend your life to placate her deranged boyfriend.”
“Since she’s cool with being ‘his woman,’ he can re-home her as you would any other piece of property. FFS.”~JuicyWartRemoval
And she has no legal standing to make him leave.
“NTA but be prepared for them to start sh*t. They’ll start picking at little things and make them a big deal.”
“They will look for ways to to sabotage your living arrangements. They won’t leave voluntarily.”
“They see it as her apartment not yours. I’d make sure all the paperwork is in order and make sure everything is in your name.”
“Why can’t she move in with him? ‘His woman.’ Red flags everywhere.”~tnichols14
“Your home is your sanctuary. Your home should be your safe place and now your friend and her boyfriend are being hostile to you in your sanctuary.”
“Unless she apologises and keeps her insecure bf in line give her 30 days notice or (if you’re feeling generous) until the pandemic eases up to move out. NTA.”~FloppyEaredDog
“Lol, NTA. How can you think you’re the AH here?”
“It’s your place, none of her business if your workplace is far or nearby, as it’s none of your business if she demands such a foolish thing.”
“You showed empathy when she couldn’t find a place to stay when she moved, how this person can be so entitled to call you an empathetic AH?”
“I would’ve told her to grab her things and just leave right on the spot.”
“P. S. The reason behind this is a controlling partner, I don’t know if she realized yet but that’s going to be a problem for her sooner or later.”~Soft_Pilot1025
“NTA. She doesn’t have the right to expect you to rearrange your entire life to accommodate her.”
“She and (presumably) her boyfriend are adults who, as they (I presume) both have paychecks.”
“When combined, their paychecks may be enough to rent something acceptable to them.”
“If the boyfriend is jealous of someone’s brother, he can offer to share an apartment and split costs elsewhere with your roommate.”
“Or he can suck it up and deal with the fact she will interact platonically with other guys at some point.”~SnooDoughnuts7171
Some people just really do not have a valid reason for wanting the things they want, but demand them anyway.
Even if it’s uncomfortable for OP’s roommate, this is one of those situations where she really lashed out at him because he wouldn’t be her doormat.
Hopefully, if her boyfriend is as controlling as he seems, she gets far away from that relationship soon.