They say there is a time and place for everything.
Of course, we usually hear that saying when the time and place are anything but correct.
So, what happens when the time and place aren’t just incorrect but incredibly inappropriate?
That was the problem facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) StitchedAnime when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some outside opinions.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving my friends funeral after her brother tried to kiss me?”
She began with the players involved.
“Alright, here’s the cast.”
“Me (24 Female) Chase (22 Male & is Maggie’s brother)”
And the sad event which brought them together.
“So last month, I get notified from a mutual friend that Maggie (an old friend of mine) had passed, and they were preparing her funeral.”
“They asked if I wanted to go since I was her friend, and I of course said yes.”
“Her brother and I used to be friends, but haven’t talked in a long time.”
“The funeral comes and I’m sitting in the church waiting for everything to start as people arrived.”
“I’m sitting alone close to the front and Chase sits next to me.”
“He’s crying and I try to be there for him and comfort him the best I could, while also trying to process my grief.”
“He leaves my side and goes up with his family when it started, but I can see he keeps eyeing me, which makes me a little uncomfortable, but Chase has always been an awkward kid, so I dismiss it.”
“Big mistake.”
“After the funeral wraps up and everyone is starting to file out to head to her burial at the cemetery, Chase comes up to me as I’m standing away from everyone waiting for my ride to the burial.”
“He starts with casual talk. ‘I know she would have loved you being here.’ & ‘I miss her.’ “
“You know, the usual stuff said between friends. Then it starts to make an awkward turn.”
” ‘I missed seeing you.’ “
“I paused, but I dismissed it, just awkwardly nodding and saying it back to avoid the awkward silence.”
“He’s an awkward guy so I shrugged it off.”
Everything was alright until,
“Then he leaned in and attempted to kiss me.”
“I immediately backed away from him and stared at him in disbelief. ‘What the f*ck are doing?’ “
” ‘What?’ “
” ‘Did you just try to kiss me?’ “
“He huffed and walked away angrily saying ‘you could at least comfort me at my sister’s funeral.’ “
“I step forward and stop him.”
“At this point, I got a few side-eyes, but I was angry. ‘I’m married, why would you even try that? I will comfort you, of course, but trying to kiss me? And at Maggie’s funeral?’ “
” ‘Whatever. He’s not even here with you. Some husband he is.’ he snapped and he walked away to his parent’s car.”
“I stood there in disbelief and internal rage until my ride showed up.”
“I told her what happened and she was in about as much shock as I was.”
“We went to her burial (while Chase angrily stared me down), then I asked her to drop me off back at the church afterwards because I was going home.”
“After I got home, Maggie’s mom messaged me and berated me for leaving early and ‘hurting her babies feelings’. “
“I tried to explain what had happened and that he continuously shot glares at me, but she didn’t listen, hung up on me, and blocked me on everything.”
“I visited her grave a week later and grieved with my husband.”
“Now I keep getting angry messages from her other kids and a few of our mutual friends.”
“I’m really starting to question if I should have stuck it out and stayed for the rest of the memorial, or left when I did.”
OP was left to wonder.
“So Reddit, AITA?”
Having laid out the issue at hand, she turned to Reddit for some outside opinions.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some were stunned.
“NTA WHAT!”
“Have u explained what happened to ur mututal friends?”
“He tried to kiss you and used his dead sibling as a way to cover his creepy advances on you. I’m sorry for everything that happened and for your loss.” ~ Only-Error404
Others offered alternative solutions.
“I’m petty.”
“If I were you, I would take this post to social media without mentioning names and write about horrible friendships, siding with perverts and horrible mothers, and tag everyone who is shaming you/not listening to you.”
“I would use this life experience as a filter to weed real friends from jerks and block them forever.” ~ AgitatedAssignment34
Of course, no one was impressed with Chase.
“NTA”
“What the actual f*ck? The dude knows you’re married and he runs to his mommy to make it better?” ~ Mofukin_Irisden
And,
“He demanded a married woman ‘comfort’ him at a funeral by giving him a sexual favor.”
“This guy has NO respect for women.”
“His sister probably wasn’t treated any better by him when she was alive.” ~ Magus_Corgo
The benefit of the doubt was given – and rapidly revoked.
“Grief sucks and can cause people to act out of turn.”
“But the way mom acted after the way Chase acted tells me that she may have been an enabler all along.”
” ‘Hurting her baby’s feelings ‘? Good lord.”
“Grief doesn’t explain or excuse everything.” ~ Levantine1978
OP did return with some final updates.
“Update:”
“I’ve been reading comments, and I figured it would be best to just block them all and message the other few mutuals who are still backing up Chase.”
“I haven’t gotten any replies from any of them at all.”
“Ty for all the replies on here though! I feel less bad about leaving early, but I still wish the incident didn’t happen at all so I could have stayed for the rest of the funeral.”
“I’m constantly reading the comments and I have to tell everyone thank you for the love.”
“I very much appreciate it ❤ (SIDE NOTE: I did forget to mention that I found out recently that his family have moved a few states away a few weeks ago, so he isn’t in the same state as me.)”
There is a time and place for everything.
Except unwanted advances.
There’s never a time or place for those.
Be wary of opportunistic people in every time and every place, and always remember that your right to say ‘no’ is limitless.