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Woman Called Out By Cousin For Baking White Chocolate Cake For Chocolate-Themed Party

Woman making a cake
Stefania Pelfini, La Waziya Photography/Getty Images

There’s a grand debate, calling into question whether white chocolate is a form of chocolate and if it is even good.

But one thing we should generally be able to agree upon is that white chocolate will not steal attention away from chocolate, or vice versa, reasoned the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

To make friends in a new area, Redditor Quirky-Quill agreed to make a cake for a chocolate-themed party.

When she was accused of trying to be the center of attention after the party was over, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was wrong for bringing a white chocolate cake to what proved to be a cocoa chocolate-themed party.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for bringing white chocolate cake when asked to bring a chocolate dessert?”

The OP was trying to make new friends in a new city.

“I (24 Female) recently moved to the city most of my paternal families live in. I grew up in another city and went to college on a different coast and wasn’t close with them, spending only six Christmas holidays with them growing up.”

“I visited everyone in person once when I moved so they know I’m living in the same city.”

“I’m a pretty good cook and baker, so when I was invited to a potluck family party at my grandparents’ I brought chicken stew which received a lot of praise.”

“One of my aunts asked if I also bake and I said yes, showing them a few pics of my baked goods.”

The OP was then invited to bake for a themed party.

“My cousin Lisa (30 Female) then invited me to her little girl gathering, telling me it was a drink and dessert party and that the theme was chocolate.”

“I made a beautiful white chocolate cake for the party. It wasn’t big as Lisa told me there would be like ten people attending, but because it was small, I was able to make it a little fancy with silver and white winter decorations.”

“Everyone exclaimed how beautiful the cake was, and when Lisa put it on the table, it stood out as the rest was different shades of chocolate brown.”

“My cake was praised. The food and drink were delicious. I hung out with my cousins and met Lisa’s friends and her husband’s family. I thought everyone was nice.”

But the OP was accused of seeking attention after that.

“Later, Lisa called me, not exactly complaining but telling me next time I should keep to the theme of the party.”

“I told her I did as white chocolate IS chocolate.”

“Lisa said that her husband’s sister and a couple of nieces thought it was inappropriate of me to bring a dish that stood out so much, completely ignoring the party theme.”

“They felt all everyone talked about was my cake. They asked Lisa to tell me to ‘tone it down’ or don’t invite them and me to the same party because they can’t stand someone so attention-seeking.”

“Personally, I don’t think I did anything wrong, but this is a group of three people thinking the same thing…”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Chocolate-white chocolate debate aside, some reassured the OP that she had done nothing wrong.

“OP, your dessert sounds gorgeous and deservedly took center stage for presentation. I am a chocolate lover who dislikes white chocolate. However, I would NEVER speak out against it or offend anyone else’s dessert because that’s just rude. Do these people have main character syndrome?!?” – mcchillz

“I would outright expect to find all varieties of chocolate at a chocolate-themed party, from super dark right through to white chocolate. It’s not a ‘milk chocolate’ themed party, it’s a chocolate-themed party.” – Thequiet01

“If you’re asked to bring a chocolate thing to a party and show up with white chocolate, I can see why people might be annoyed.”

“This is a different situation. They weren’t relying on OP for their chocolate. It was a chocolate-themed dessert party. There were plenty of traditional chocolate desserts for all, so no one was missing out. White chocolate seems like a perfectly fine way to have some variety within the theme.”

“I say that as someone who dislikes white chocolate.” – My_Dramatic_Persona

“I love all forms of chocolate, like white, marble, dark, milk, caramel, peppermint, etc. etc. I think a party with nothing but one kind of chocolate sounds boring, frankly. I think Lisa’s relatives are jealous that OP’s cake was so well received.” – GorgeousGracious

“NTA. I also think that the sisters were complaining because your cake was just spectacularly more beautiful than what they brought. It’s a shame they can’t just appreciate the hard work you put into it and be grateful.”

“I’m guessing if OP had brought a similarly lovely dark chocolate cake, there still would have been shade thrown. The white chocolate is just a red herring.” – Counter_Full

“Digging into the chocolate-not chocolate debate for a moment, good quality white chocolate has cocoa butter, but dark and milk chocolates have that AND cocoa nibs, like the whole cocoa. I’d say that’s vastly different.”

“If you go to various chocolate museums (the ones I went to were in Belgium (the origin of some of the world’s most delicious chocolate) and Germany, but I’m sure there are some in the States and other countries, as well), they explain how white chocolate consists of around 30% and less cocoa, while all other chocolate has 60% and more cocoa, in overall content. (Obviously, cheaper stuff skews the percentages.)”

“So white chocolate is still usually not considered ‘chocolate’ in the more typical sense of the word. I probably wouldn’t have personally tried OP’s cake (I just personally don’t enjoy the flavor and texture of white chocolate), but she’s definitely not an AH for bringing it to a chocolate-themed party.”

“These friends of Lisa are definitely just upset that OP’s a better baker. It’s technically on theme, and who cares HER cake was talked about more?! This party was for Lisa’s daughter; the baked goods are irrelevant because the daughter didn’t make them, they were made for HER and HER friends! Silly drama for absolutely no reason.” – ju-ju-bee

Others agreed and were suspicious that Lisa was the only one who was actually upset.

“NTA. Lisa is jealous. Plain and simple. I guarantee NO ONE said those things to her. No one. She’s lying to you because everyone loved your beautiful cake.”

“I love that you did something different!”

“I’m in no way trying to sound harsh to Lisa. But I do feel it’s jealousy. It’s okay to be different and you filled the theme. They didn’t say, ‘Bring all brown chocolate!'” – PrincessOfIreland

“Does anybody besides me think that Lisa is lying through her teeth about what the other women think? She sounds like the kind of witch that claims her own personal opinion is shared by ‘everybody,’ just to make you feel even worse.” – OnionLayers49

“I think Lisa didn’t like the attention the pretty cake got, and she’s name-dropping the others to add weight to her argument.” – MotherOfMoggles

“I‘m wondering if anyone else really thought badly of OP and the white chocolate cake. Kinda sounds like Lisa is the only one upset, but saying, ‘I felt upstaged and didn’t get all the attention,’ sounds considerably more childish than, ‘My friends and I think you need to tone it down.'” – Ich_bin_keine_banane

“It’s totally not about ‘white chocolate not being chocolate,’ though; that’s just an excuse. Everyone is just mad OP’s cake was so beautiful and got so much praise and attention. Saying it wasn’t on-theme is just them trying to find an excuse for their petty jealousy.” – kaia-bean

“I don’t think you did anything wrong, but I feel like Lisa needs to be called out. Better to just apologize in a group chat.”

“‘Hey everyone, sorry about the white chocolate, I wanted to try out a new recipe and didn’t realize it would upset anyone. I now understand how white chocolate is often not considered chocolate. I will try to stay more within the theme in the future.'”

“This leaves it on a good note and kinda calls out that people complained about white chocolate.” – Simple-Opposite

“I would perhaps be cheeky and reach out to the people and ‘apologize,’ not because I would mean it, but then I would know if she’s full of s**t or not.”

“Something like, ‘Hi, Lisa said you and some others were actually not happy about the white chocolate cake. So, I’m just reaching out to say I’m sorry. If I had only known people did not want any white chocolate there.'”

“If they then answer with ??, what? Then you know she is full of it…” – Consistent-Ocelot-36

The subReddit couldn’t help but shrug at Lisa and potentially others as they stressed about entirely the wrong thing: being upstaged by a beautiful white chocolate cake at a chocolate-themed party when they could have been, wait for it, enjoying more chocolate.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.