Everyone wants a little attention every now and then.
Particularly when we go out of our way to do something nice for someone.
Even though the gesture was meant to make someone else feel happy or noticed, we can’t help but want a little acknowledgement or appreciation for our actions.
There are some people, however, who want much more than “a little” acknowledgement.
The aunt of Redditor throwbnna recently baked him a very special cake for his birthday.
Something the original poster (OP) very much appreciated.
However, in the eyes of his aunt, he didn’t appreciate it enough.
Something she made abundantly clear to him over the phone.
Having some doubts about his behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for eating a normal portion of the cake my aunt made for my birthday?”
The OP explained why their aunt felt he was unappreciative of the cake she made for his birthday:
“For context, I (25 M[ale]) love to cook.”
“All the recipes I make, I’ve learned from my late paternal grandfather.”
“One of my grandpa’s dishes that I often make for almost every family gathering is his bananas foster, and for our family, it’s definitely a crowd-pleaser.”
“However, bananas are not my favorite food/flavor.”
“I’ll have a bite of the dish to make sure the dish tastes right, and I’ll usually have a small portion of the bananas foster I’ve made.”
“I celebrated my birthday last week, and many of my friends and family attended, including my aunt (my dad’s older sister by 2 or 3 years).”
“During the party, she approached me and gave me a bananas foster cake she made.”
“I took the cake, thanked my aunt for it, placed it on the dessert table, and got a slice for myself.”
“Admittedly, I did take a smaller portion of the cake, but when I ate it, I definitely thought it was delicious, which I also told my aunt at my party.”
“The day after my party, I received a call from my aunt.”
“Our conversation went like this (not exact words):”
“‘Aunt: Hey OP, did you enjoy the cake I made?”
“‘Me: Yes, it was delicious, which I told you during the party’.”
“‘Aunt: So, why did you get a smaller slice than usual?”
“‘At this point, I was deciding to tell the truth or say a white lie. But I thought if I lied, this might be a bigger issue in the future, so I told her the truth, instead.”
“‘Me: Bananas aren’t my favorite flavor, but since you gifted me that cake, I still had a slice’.”
“‘Aunt: I made that cake for your birthday, so you should have eaten most of it. It was rude of you to put it on the dessert table for everyone else to eat it. It’s like you re-gifted my cake to everyone else’.”
“Me: I’m sorry if it came off that way, but I find it unreasonable for me to have the majority of a cake with a flavor I don’t like. I thought of sharing it with everyone made sure that what you made didn’t go to waste. From the looks of it, a lot of people liked your cake as there was none of it left’.”
“‘Aunt: Also, if you don’t like bananas that much, why do you keep on making dad’s bananas foster?'”
“‘Me: I know it was one of grandpa’s favorite recipes and a lot of people in our family love that dish, so I keep on making it despite my not liking the taste of bananas’.”
“‘Aunt: That is not an excuse to be disrespectful and ungrateful… (she then hangs up)'”
“I don’t think I was disrespectful or ungrateful for what I did.”
“My parents, siblings, and even my cousins (my aunt’s children) are on my side, and some of them thought she overreacted.”
“So, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for eating a regular-sized slice of cake and nothing more.
Everyone agreed that the reaction of the OP’s aunt was absurd, and she didn’t seem to understand the concept of sharing a birthday cake or regifting:
“NTA.”
“Your aunt is unhinged.”
“Obviously, birthday cakes are meant to be shared.”
“Did she expect to sit in the corner and eat the whole thing?”- fndnvolusrgofksb
“NTA.”
“This is a wild take. She thought you should have eaten the majority of the cake by yourself?”
“Does she not understand how cakes work?”- Edges8
“NTA.”
“She’s unhinged. Who the hell expects someone to eat an entire cake by themselves?”-ScheduledYeti284
“When i read the title i was ready to read about how you gorged yourself and didn’t leave enough for guests lol.”
“NTA.”
“Birthday cake is traditionally made for sharing.”
“On what planet does anyone expect the birthday person to eat the majority of it to themself?”-nightcana
“NTA.”
“And if I get a cake for my birthday, it goes on the table.”
“However, perhaps nobody really likes that banana cake, and they all think it is YOUR favorite?”-Missepus
“NTA.”
“That’s silly.”
“No one ever eats most of their own cake.”- Embarrassed-Touch121
“You didn’t make a big deal out of HER making your signature cake better than you do.”
“That’s what the problem is.”
“Cause seriously, who makes someone the cake they make all the time for others?”
“NTA.”- Pretending2BeHere
“I wish it were rude to share your birthday cake; unfortunately, it’s considered rude not to.”
“NTA.”
“I’m hoping aunt was just embarrassed and got defensive.”
“If she makes you something else next time, consider it an apology.”- wren_boy1313
“What lol.”
“NTA, your aunt got offended over nothing, it’s not like you threw it away.”- 0trashgoblin
“NTA.”
“‘Aunt: So, why did you get a smaller slice than usual?'”
“This is ridiculous behavior.”- k23_k23
“Hahahahaha NTA.”
“Birthday cake is for everyone.”
“You make it for others because they enjoy it, but why did no one ask you what your favorite was and make that instead?”- FireApparently
“Expecting the birthday person to eat most of a cake they don’t even like is… odd behavior.”
“NTA.”- True-Dependent-3913
“NTA.”
“Her reaction is crazy and makes no sense.”
“If she TRULY expected you to not put it on the dessert table to share, why would she bring a whole cake to a party?”
“Wouldn’t you think she’d bring it before/after or a smaller portion if it was meant only for you?”
“She’s pissy you weren’t head over heels (aka thanking her incessantly) for a VERY specifically flavored cake she never cared to ask your opinion on.”
“You ate some and were polite about it, that’s plenty for a normal person.”
“The rest is her ego.”- Fair-Cut-2636
“You should have known that when it’s your birthday, you are legally bound to eat between 14.5% and 23.2% of the cake.”
“NTA obviously.”- No-Wear-9042
“NTA.”
“What’s your aunt on about?”
“It’s normal to share the cake someone brings to birthday parties, at least in my country.”
“The opposite would actually be rude.”- SoleSun314
“NTA.”
“You have to eat a majority of the cake?!”
“That’s unhinged.”
“If you’re Bruce Bogtrotter, then your aunt is Trunchbull.”- prl_yshell_s
“NTA Is auntie ok?”
“This is weird behavior.”- Adagio_4_Strings
“I have never heard of this.”
“NTA.”
“I guess she expected you to keep it and eat it yourself, but if I were the one making the cake, I would have asked, ‘Hey, what’s your favorite cake?’ “
“I’ know you make banana foster a lot, but what do you want for your birthday cake?'”
“That simple question could have saved her the butt-hurt in this situation.”
“I should add.”
“I am lactose intolerant and diabetic.”
“What does my mum make for every gathering?”
“Pavlova with fresh cream and fruit.”
“Won’t use lactose free cream cause she ‘doesn’t like the way it whips up’ even though I literally cannot eat it cause I will feel ill/struggle to breathe when my allergic asthma kicks in.”
“She pushes me to have a piece.”
“Every. single. time.”- Kattiaria
The OP later returned with an update, sharing a bit more as to what led to his aunt’s surprising reaction:
“Found out (today) from my cousin that my aunt was upset because…”
“She wanted to be praised more for the cake (which she actually did not make herself).”
“2) She was upset that my grandpa passed the recipes to me and not to her (she never expressed interest in cooking when my grandpa was still alive).”
‘3) She believes I am keeping the recipes to myself (I’m not, and was always willing to share with the rest of the family).”
It seemed like a very nice gesture of the OP’s aunt to make a cake for his birthday.
As it turns out, however, she did so entirely for self-gratification and praise.
Perhaps if she started thinking more of others, and less of herself, she and the OP could enjoy the recipes passed down by the OP’s grandfather together.