Weddings are such a blast.
At least they can be.
There is good music, food and tons of libation.
However once and awhile there is that one person who can bring all the festivities to a crash.
That is why you always chose the speech givers wisely.
Case in point…
Redditor superflousousman wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for referring to my sister in law as, ‘The Shrieker’ in my speech at her wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Recently my (22 M[ale]) older brother (24 M[ale]) got married to his high school sweet heart Sarah.”
“The three of us went to high school together and I lived in their apartment for 2 years while I was in college.”
“So since I met Sarah, we haven’t gotten along.”
“Honestly while in high school I thought she was a huge *itch.”
“But like it was high school and teenage girls aren’t known for their kindness and level headedness.”
“During this period of time I gave her a nickname behind her back.”
“It was, ‘Shriek’ and variations of the word. Shrieker, The Shriek. Things like that.”
“This was for 2 reasons.”
“One, she was always so angry and screamed at people all the time.”
“She was just a loud girl in general.”
“The other reason being that I shared a wall with them when we lived together.”
“I heard a lot of ‘shrieking’ late at night along with the head board hitting my wall which was not pleasant.”
“I was asked to give a speech at my brother’s wedding and during the speech I told this nickname and the reasons why I called her it.”
“So I have told my brother about the nick name but never her.”
“I honestly assumed that my brother would’ve told her.”
“Apparently he did not.”
“While many many people thought the speech I gave was funny, and there were a lot of laughs, even from her side of the new family, she was displeased.”
“She said that the speech was humiliating and that I was trying to make her look bad.”
“I honestly wasn’t.”
“I was just telling a funny story.”
“She said that I tried to ruin her wedding day.”
“I apologized thoroughly for making her feel that way but attested I wasn’t trying to make her look bad or embarrass her.”
“Just telling a story.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“YTA but in a wedding speech in front of both of your families? Double YTA.”
“Editing to explain- this may have been a funny story to you, but I’m sure you knew it wouldn’t be to her.”
“You got your laughs from the guests, but your goal was to embarrass her, at her wedding.”
“You prefaced in your post that you never got along.”
“So it seems like you added this to the speech on purpose to be disrespectful.”
“You’ve been being an a@@ behind her back and decided to let it all out in the open, again, at her wedding.”
“If anything, because you don’t have a good relationship, you should have known to stay away from this story. “
“You can’t have honestly thought she’d have felt good about it.” ~ ckb251
“I gave the speech at my little sister’s wedding.”
“I haven’t always gotten along with her husband.”
“He used to be a little controlling for my tastes, thought I was a bad influence because I was single for over a decade.”
“I, not once, thought to embarrass that man by telling stories that put him in a bad light.”
“I simply said that I initially had reservations about him.”
“But that he’d been so good to my sister and his kids that I was proud to now call him family.”
“He cried… happy tears.”
“YTA, I could have told any number of embarrassing stories from the 8 years I’ve known that man.”
“But I didn’t… and you shouldn’t have, either.”
“But I think you know that.” ~ _cafe_bustelo_
“This! I’ve had a lot of issues with my little sister’s boyfriend.”
“And honestly if she came to me right now saying he had proposed I would not be thrilled and probably actively discourage it.”
“And yet still, I could not even imagine even thinking that it might possibly be an ok idea to bring up negative stories about him in a speech at their friggin’ wedding.”
“OP, you are absolutely classless, clueless, and completely YTA.” ~ jarroz61
“100% pure YTA.”
“You know there was no way she would ever, ever think you calling her an unflattering name for being loud and angry would ever be ok.”
“et alone commenting on the sounds she made during sex with your brother that you overheard by listening through their walls.”
“They allowed you to live with them and this is the way you repay them?”
“Her parents didn’t want to hear that.”
“Your parents didn’t want to hear that.”
“There was no one in the room who wanted to hear about what you overheard about them being intimate.’
“It just comes across as gross, pervy, insulting, degrading and mean.”
“If I was them I would be mortified and so hurt that after everything they have done for you.”
“And after asking you the honor of giving a speech at their wedding THIS is what you think about.”
“You clearly showed you don’t give an F about either of them and wanted to humiliate them.”
“I would cut contact with you and never speak to you again.”
“Even if you apologize, you can never take this back.”
“It was said in front of everyone and probably totally soured their night.”
“And they will always know that you thought getting some awkward laughs was worth more to you than their privacy.” ~ WheyFacedLoon
“I’m not sure anything would balance this out.”
‘I hate name-calling/nicknames (those that aren’t a diminutive of legal names, unless the person has preference).”
“Most of the time these names are not based on positive attributes and are a form of ridicule or bullying.”
“They were kind to him and allowed him to live with them–and this is how he repays them?”
“What f-head. The poor bride.”
“Even if the wedding weren’t the setting and he did it in front of a group of people, he would be the AH.”
“He is shi—-g on her, and he has no g-d right to do so. What a pig.”
I agree that 22 year old is friggin’ clueless.”
“And that he is definitely not marriage material so I hope that doesn’t happen for a long-ass time (if he ever grows up).”
“Definitely YTA, OP.” ~ PickleNotaBigDill
“OP just trashes this poor girl for no reason.”
“First, some bs about teenage girls being a**holes (??!).”
“If you had issues with teenage girls, I mean, the common denominator was you.”
“As for the screaming, if he’s the only one who thinks that and calls her that… Well I guess it’s a compatibility issue and not a loudness issue.”
“Then the dude lived at his brother’s and S[ister] I[n] L[aw]’s for TWO YEARS and has the AUDACITY to complain that they have sex and try to do so quietly despite the thin walls?”
“Like, what did he expect while living at another couple’s apartment, that they wouldn’t have sex at all.”
“Because he’s there? That he’d never accidentally hear something sexual?”
“They were kind enough to welcome him, he could at least not sexualize her in a weird, contemptuous way.”
“And try to humiliate her. At her own wedding.”
“OP YTA so hard. Jesus, question your whole personality please.” ~ Aelle29
“You gave her this nickname in high school and refrained from telling her about it all the way up until her wedding day.”
“If you thought it was such a funny and lighthearted joke why wouldn’t you have shared it with her before/ called her it to her face?”
“You obviously knew she wouldn’t receive it well.”
“Plus I’m pretty sure people were only laughing because they thought you were clueing them in to your inside joke. YTA.” ~ Drunkatthepre
“YTA. Omg, the fact that you seriously asked this shakes my faith in humanity.”
“You made fun of her with a nickname behind her back for years, then decide the absolute best time to tell her about it is at her wedding?”
“I feel YTA isn’t quite strong enough for this one.”
“If I was your brother, I would hope that I could have recovered from the shock fast enough to throttle you before you could get it all out and toss your a** out of the venue.” ~ ihascontract
“YTA, wtf is wrong with you??”
“First off, the nickname is childish and not even funny to begin with.”
“But then to explain it to everyone on what was supposed to be an important day for them, what a major AH you are.” ~ Ok_Image6174
Sorry OP, Reddit seems miffed with you on this one.
Maybe you can watch it back and see where you went wrong.
Hopefully your brother and SIL can come around to your apology.