A woman who was never really close with her sister finally lost her patience over her tendency to belittle others constantly.
After the revelation of a secret turned a family dinner into chaos, Redditor aitakelpie turned to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“aita for telling people about my sister’s weight loss surgery after she body-shamed my boyfriend?”
The Original Poster (OP) began her post by describing her relationship with her younger sister.
“Made a throwaway. Fyi, my sister and I have almost never gotten along well, and we’re not close at all.”
“My sister is 28 f[emale] and I’m 25 f[emale]. She is the type of person who always compares herself to others and puts down people to lift herself up.”
“She makes snide remarks about appearances, relationships, people’s kids, etc, and she’d been like this forever. My parent’s always kind of coddled us growing up and we grew up in a well-off, privileged household.”
“We had more opportunity than most, and I kinda think this made her have a big head.”
Their life of privilege especially benefitted the OP’s younger sister.
“When my sister was in high school she was very overweight. My parents ended up paying for her to get weight loss surgery at 18 and then paid for a personal trainer for her for like three years, and also partially paid for excess skin removal.”
“She looks great now but other than immediate family pretty much no one knows about it and she tells people her weight loss was diet and going to the gym.”
“I’ve been dating my bf for a little over a year, we’ve been living together for a few months. He’s insecure about being heavy set and asked me to start working out with him a couple weeks ago since my gym reopened.”
“I agreed and we started going together, and he’s been really good about working out even tho he had to get over some anxieties at first. He’s lost almost 10lbs so far.”
“This past weekend I was at a family get-together at my parent’s house. Yes, I know [the virus] is still very much a thing, but our state is reopening for now.”
“My bf couldn’t come, but my sister + her bf, aunt & uncle, three cousins + one of their wives, and parents were there. We were catching up and I mentioned my boyfriend and I working out together.”
“My sister said something along the lines of ‘oh thank goodness, he really needs it.’ I asked what that meant and she said people like him are so at risk for diabetes and he was just SO unhealthy before and he obviously had a problem.”
“I should also say while he’s overweight, he’s not morbidly obese or anything.”
“I got angry and (kinda loudly) said that not everyone could have their parents pay for weight loss surgery.”
“She got all sheepish and asked for me to quiet down but I told her she’s a hypocrite and had no room to talk about unhealthy lifestyles when she needed surgery for being pre-diabetic at 18.”
“At this point everyone was listening and my mom stepped in to separate us. My sister stormed out of the room and my mom said I shouldn’t have announced her surgery to the house and she wasn’t trying to be offensive (which I think is bs).”
“I refused to apologize and left. I don’t wanna play these little games with her anymore.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
A majority of Redditors were quick to agree that the younger sister needed a reality check.
“NTA. Some people need to be hit with the harsh truth every now and then to come back down to reality.” – milbea
“Nice. NTA- some people need to be knocked down a peg or two.”
“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones & sooner or later someone will lob one towards you.”
“She of all people should learn to keep her mouth shut instead of judging others. OP you did her a favor & maybe now she’ll get off her high horse before someone else calls her out.”
“NTA – well done.” – 20MLSE20
This Redditor didn’t agree with the OP’s reaction but still settled for NTA.
“I must say that some people would call you TA since you openly shared private information about someone, but she wasn’t being fair either.”
“She was making fun of your boyfriend and being a total hypocrite. She doesn’t care about his well-being, it was juicy. She was also being a total prick by telling people that it was all ‘hard work.’ No, it was dad’s hard earned money.”
“She needed a taste of her medicine, NTA.” – Son_ofa_BiscuitEater
Some Redditors felt ESH.
“ESH. She was rude and unkind, you were wrong to reveal private medical information out of spite.” – Ricoret
“Your sister was awful but just blurting out medical history as a retort was not cool. Your sister is more of an asshole. But yeah. ESH” – ItsBenpai
“Came here to say this. It is not ok to reveal a person’s medical past, period. Even if provoked. (Yes, she is definitely the instigating asshole, but not the only AH in the room.)” – ansibil
Although some believed the OP was out of line herself, many agreed her response was still warranted.
“Is there a category for ‘sometimes you just have to be an a**hole’ because I think that applies sometimes.” – edgarecayce
“JAH: justified a**hole.” – Tovrill
“Yeah, this is a situation I’d say OP is an a**hole, but for entirely justifiable and fair reasons.”
“The rest of her family are assholes for sh**ty reasons.” – Blossomie
“NTA!! It might be wrong to share personal, medical information of someone else, but this to me isn’t a ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ situation.”
“She was quite literally pretending to be someone she wasn’t so she could appear better than someone else. That’s despicable, and call-out worthy. Not only is it abhorrent to be that judgmental, but she needs to also remember how it felt to be at square one and honor that journey.”
“Also it happened among family, who have presumably been in your family most of your lives(?) so I really don’t think your announcement should have been made a big deal out of.”
“Like omg your aunt who watched the transition happen in real time 10 years ago now know that your sister had some help. So what? It was 10 years ago, and a handful of family members.” – ogdeloon
Redditor akatherder made a thought-provoking comment about the sister’s journey to health that prompted her remark.
“Info: is there any chance she was just bad at expressing that she’s proud he made the decision to get healthier? She didn’t say anything hateful like ‘oh good he’s such a fat slob.'”
“She may have been relating his condition to her health issues and she’s happy he’s turning it around instead of going down the path she did.”
“I can see where most people take her ‘he really needs it’ comment as an insult. That’s my gut reaction too. But if that’s what she said verbatim, she may not have been intending to insult him. She’s happy he identified and embarked on a weight loss journey.”
This Redditor also couldn’t detect an insult from the sister and commented on how some Redditors approach particular threads with their guns drawn.
“Reddit loves to call pretty much any weight-related comment ‘fat shaming’. I don’t see that she was insulting, honestly.”
“I came in here guns blazing, ready to NTA this all the way through… but your sister’s comment sounded more like concern than anything else, albeit poorly worded.”
“YTA for immediately revealing private medical info instead of addressing your concerns and giving her a chance to explain herself.” – TinkerBob7926
But the general lesson to be learned here—as this Redditor succinctly put it—was:
“No one is in any position to body shame.” – imtherhoda76