We’ve all had one of those jobs that we were not crazy about and that we really did not feel was worth our time. We may have even daydreamed about playing hooky sometimes.
But some people actually go the distance and skip work for other things, side-eyed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Ready for his final day at his old job to pass, Redditor Which-Shower-7639 decided to skip one of his last days to enjoy the weather instead.
But when his wife found out he had been out having fun while she was home alone on her day off, taking care of their baby daughter, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked by how angry she became.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for golfing during work hours while my wife was home with our daughter?”
The OP decided to skip out on his job.
“I work an eight-to-five job and recently quit. My last day is next Friday before starting a new gig.”
“I am in f**k-it mode with my current employer, and the weather was nice, so I went golfing today.”
But the OP also made another decision about his work day.
“I also didn’t tell my wife.”
“My wife works 4 days a week and has Wednesdays off to stay home with our seven-month-old.”
“She usually has dance stuff going on (she teaches), so I watch the kid during that.”
“Honestly, my thought was that I will go golfing during work hours while the opportunity was available instead of taking time out of our weekend together or watching our child while she does other stuff.”
The OP was surprised by how angry his wife was when she found out.
“Low and behold, I got my first hole-in-one today and felt so excited, I texted my wife to tell her about it.”
“Her only reaction was p**sed that I went golfing.”
“When I got home, she was still p**sed and yelled at me that I am being selfish and didn’t come home to be with her to help take care of the child and instead went golfing.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some completely understood why the OP’s wife was so upset.
“YTA. For future reference, the way to handle this was, ‘Hey honey, there’s not much left for me to do at work, so I’m going to take tomorrow off. I’d like to go golfing from 9-12, and then I’ll be home to take the baby, and we can hang out together, or you can go get some alone time. Let me know if you’d rather have the morning instead.'” – Ok_Specialist_2545
“YTA. Your wife works and takes care of your child on her day off. You went golfing instead of going to work and neglected to tell your wife.” – Dinosaur_Doctor
“She doesn’t get a day off. Of course, she’s angry. YTA. You said f**k-it to work while she’s taking care of a seven-month-old and gets no extra time to sit with her thoughts. But good for you, you got a hole in one.”
“I am currently breastfeeding a six-month-old after my only time alone in a day, and I can’t even spend it in my thoughts cause I have to lose this darn baby weight. After having done chores all day while I was entertaining the baby.”
“I know exactly how your wife is feeling. You have no idea how much help you could have been.” – jitsuftchick
“YTA. You went golfing instead of working or taking care of your family. You didn’t tell your wife, and you just said, ‘F**k it, Daddy needs a day on the tee,’ or whatever people like you say.”
“I’m sure your wife would like a random day off too, but she’s too busy raising your kids. You really hit this one out of the park, bud.” – TheBearyPotter
“YTA. Your comments say her ‘day off’ is… her going to another job.”
“If you were going to blow off work, it would have been nice to offer to give HER a day off or even ask her if it would be cool if you played a round or two and then take the kid off her hands for a few hours.”
“She has two jobs and a baby, and you’re ditching work to golf? C’mon, man.” – RamonaAStone
“YTA, especially at the end where you specifically said that she was mad because you were home to help with ‘the child.’ FOR F**K’S SAKE, THAT’S YOUR BABY TOO! Do you even acknowledge that this kid is yours?!”
“Look dude, you pointed out yourself that you didn’t even mention the fact that you went golfing versus going to your job but still thought she’d be happy for your hole-in-one. How clueless could you even be?”
“You don’t seem to care what your family’s needs are and make them out to be last on your list of importance. She was caring for your child, which cominf from another mom, is its own job without working on top of it, and your moronic behind decided to do whatever you wanted instead.”
“You played Hooky, you told on yourself after basically lying to her all day, and now you’re crying because you’re in the doghouse. Yeah, you screwed up. Tell your wife you love her, set her up with some nice flowers and dinner, maybe a bath, and take care of your daughter to give her a break.” – ThrowbackBaby93
“My hubby has every Friday off from work. He takes all three kids to school, goes to golf, and plays nine holes (maybe 18 if he is having a good day and playing fast), then comes home, and we do the shopping.”
“Depending on time before the shopping, he will take me out for a lunch date or at least buy me all my favorite snacks because he knows I am a SAHM and Friday is my only day off (youngest only day at daycare) and he will be leaving me with the kids while he goes out to golf with his mates on the weekend.”
“OP, YTA. You can go out and play golf as much as you want, but remember that while you can say f**k-it, I’m not going to work today, YOUR WIFE CAN’T because that would mean your child gets neglected.”
“It wouldn’t have been hard for you to pick up something for your wife on your way home and say, ‘Sorry, I was selfish and only thought about me today. I got you this, why don’t you go lock yourself in our room or go out for a bit and have some time for yourself? It’s my turn to parent.'”
“But instead of that, you are here asking if you’re an AH because you think your wife is wrong about her feelings being hurt.” – Environmental_Art591
But others felt that the OP taking one day for himself was totally harmless.
“NTA. You took one day off for yourself, and everyone loses their s**t.”
“It might be different if it was a regular thing, but anyone who gets uptight over taking one day off is too tightly wound.”
“If the situation was reversed and your wife did the same to you, the comments would be much different. They’d all be a variant of, ‘NTA, you go, girl! You deserve some personal time, Queen!'” – Whatever-ItsFine
“NTA. As long as this isn’t a weekly/monthly habit. If my husband had an opportunity to go out once and do something he enjoyed, I’d be all for it. I’d maybe ask for an ice cream on his way home or something since we all deserve a little break sometimes.” – mkFeh
“NTA. If it was Thursday, would she still have been mad? If yes, she’d be ridiculous because it has zero impact on her. If not, then she is only mad because it happened to be her day off, prearranged as part of her work schedule. Why does it matter whether you were working or not?”
“Frankly, the fact that you aren’t taking off any time between jobs, it makes sense to screw off to some degree while you can.”
“Now could you or should you have coached or informed things better/differently? Yes, probably, but that doesn’t make you an a**hole.” – xinco64
“NTA for going golfing. Enjoy that nice weather!”
“But slight AH for not telling your wife. You should’ve just given her a quick heads-up that you changed your plans and went golfing. Maybe give her a break one day to go out and enjoy herself away from the baby too. The fact is you both deserve a break once in a while but have to be on the same page.” – GingerPotato92
“NTA. You’ve had a child but it doesn’t condemn you to a life sentence of having someone know/dictate where you are/can be at all times.” – Bookborg98
“NTA. As a mom, I’m glad you took the time to do something you enjoyed. It’s important. Wish my husband did it more. Just make time to let your wife have a break as well.” – AlaskanBrownSugar
“Frankly NTA, healthy relationships have me time in them, and you had yours. Unless you literally never look after your kids and let your wife have me time off, then YTA.” – asdknight
The subReddit was thoroughly divided on this one. Everyone could appreciate needing me time and a nice day out, but they felt more communication was needed between the OP and his wife.
Some were furious with the OP for not communicating better with the OP and prioritizing himself ahead of his wife and child. But others pointed out that it’s important to put yourself first sometimes in order to take care of yourself, as long as your partner is getting what they need, too.