In this day and age one would think people would be more sensitive or at least careful during workplace conversations.
Sometimes what syllables fall out of another person’s mouth can leave everyone’s collective jaw on the floor.
Words have consequences.
Case in point…
Redditor AITA-hrreport wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for reporting my supervisor to HR for calling my daughter stupid?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (27 F[emale]) have a daughter (2 F) who barely speaks.”
“On a regular basis she only says four words, yes, no, Mama and blank (which she means blanket).”
“On a break, but still in the break room, I was talking to a coworker about all the speech therapy her doctor recommended, and how worried I was for her.”
“My boss walked in when I was explaining how few words she says, laughed, and said, ‘She’s probably just stupid.'”
“I froze because I saw red, and my coworker (who is also a childhood friend), grabbed my arm and basically dragged me out before I could do or say anything I’d regret.”
“I started angry crying and she helped me calm down.”
‘When I went back to my station, I ignored my supervisor since I need this job.”
“However, she started making jokes to a coworker about my ‘mute r*tard daughter.'”
“Our stations have cameras with audio, so I immediately called H[uman] R[esources], right in front of her, and made a complaint.”
“She started screaming at me as I was right there, so HR pulled the video and audio.”
“She might get fired since this is her fourth write up in six months.”
“I don’t feel bad, but her supervisor is constantly complaining now that we’re short handed since she can’t come back until the investigation is complete.”
“And how screwed we’ll be if she does get fired.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“My son didn’t speak until he was 3 years old.”
“We were very freaked, and took him to specialists who said he might be non verbal for life.”
“Then he just started chatting away, and never stopped.”
“He’s now a 27 year old happy, healthy, intelligent, awesome human being.”
“F*ck your supervisor and her small minded judgement.”
“I hope she does get fired.”
“You wouldn’t have anything to report if she hadn’t said it in the first place. NTA.” ~ HotChildinDaCity
“I think people forget that kids run on their own schedule.”
“My oldest didn’t talk outside of words like momma and daddy but we taught A[merican] S[ign] L[anguage] so we could communicate.”
“Did speech therapy which didn’t work and then at 3 came to me and said ‘mom can I have a cookie.'”
“I think some kids just want to process words first before they speak because now that same child who didn’t speak is brilliant, reads at a college level and already taking high school math.”
“It says a lot about the boss who thinks it’s ok to call an innocent child r*tarted and stupid.” ~ Current-Joke-6196
“The pediatrician had told me my kid was just manipulating me by pointing and grunting for what he wanted.”
“We had his hearing checked and were told he was uneducable.”
“He started talking at three and a half by directly quoting an old Daffy Duck cartoon.”
“Daffy had seen an airliner and said ‘well, those guys have got this flying south business licked.'”
“We were driving to the airport at the time and my boy saw an airliner take off and came out with the sentence.”
“The first words he ever spoke.”
“The HR director has obviously never had kids and deserves all she gets for her moronic comments. NTA.” ~ Sooz48
“For real. The boys in my family suffer speech delays of varying degrees.”
“Both my brothers, my male cousin, and both of my nephews.”
“They all talk just fine now, except one nephew was diagnosed A[ttention]-D[eficit]/H[yperactivity] D[isorder] and may be on the spectrum so that definitely explains the speech delay.”
“He didn’t really talk until he was 4.”
“He said a few words but nothing like his brother and sisters.”
“His two year old sister’s vocab is quite large compared to his at that age.”
“F**k that supervisor. Completely inappropriate of her.” ~ ThxItsadisorder
“I was 3.5 before I talked and was ‘gifted’ all through school.”
“Became a teacher then an anthropologist then a farmer and now a writer.”
“I do ALL the things! LOL.”
“Both of my children also talked late and they’re perfectly wonderful, bright, talkative kids now.”
“It’s fine.”
“Children grow like flowers and it just takes some longer to bloom.”
“It’s no big delay and a speech delay/impediment is usually not at all tied to an intellectual disability.
“OP, your baby is going to be fine, I’m sure.”
“Your supervisor on the other hand? Well…”
“You can’t fix stupid.” ~ WastelandMama
“This is a great reassurance to OP not to worry too hard, yet.”
“However. Still get the speech therapy.”
“If it turns out that there is in fact a speech issue for OP’s kid, having gotten onto speech therapy early on will be a huge benefit to the child.”
“If instead, OP delayed speech therapy to ‘wait and see’ if it resolved itself.”
“OP’s child could end up further behind than necessary.”
“And if OP gets her child the speech therapy and it does turn out to just be wacky timing and no real impediment/developmental delay.”
“The therapy won’t have harmed anything, and will in fact have still been helpful in the child’s speech development.” ~ ReasonableFig2111
“My daughter spoke but barely at age 2.”
“Her teacher in elementary school thought she was technically mute.”
“Turns out she has autism.”
“Oh and by the way she has an IQ over 140 and all that time she wasn’t speaking as a preschooler she was reading.”
“She is the most brilliant person I know and I’m not just saying that as her mom.”
“Also the r word is a slur.”
“It was used in a technical term for people like my uncle (now in his 60s) who had brain damage from measles encephalitis so his mental age was/is 7.”
“Completely different thing, completely different challenges, also a lovely loving person who doesn’t deserve to be the punchline to someone’s joke/teasing.” ~ moonflower311
“My soon to be 18-year-old, only had a few words until right before his third birthday.”
“We had special education at the house trying to pull words out of this kid to no avail.”
“The turning point was at a family gathering when my siblings brought their similarly aged kids who were talking up a storm.”
“Within a couple of hours my son was actively trying to talk to keep up with his cousins.”
“Now he’s a national Honor society kid.”
“Screw the experts and mean bosses.”
“They know nothing!” ~ mostly_bad
“The title mentions she called your daughter stupid.”
“That is bad enough but she called her a ‘mute r*tard.'”
“I’m not sure how you didn’t stand up and bash her head into the desk multiple times… I applaud how maturely you handled this.”
“Definitely NTA.”
“Be proud of yourself and even if your daughter never speaks she’s still a jewel and deserves to be treated as such.”
“Good job Momma!!” ~ MaximusZacharias
“Each kid is different, to my understanding.”
“I’m not a parent, but I know plenty of them and plenty of kids.”
“Some will chat away starting before two and some wait until they’re five.”
“If she gets fired, that isn’t on you, OP.”
“That’s on her for continuously screwing up and getting write ups for said screw ups.”
“Four in six months isn’t on you, that’s 100% on her and her supervisor should’ve seen this coming with write ups that often happening.”
“The angry and frustration by anyone should be directly targeting your supervisor and no one else.”
“You did the exact right thing!”
“Best of luck with your youngin! I’m sure she will be just fine and she has a great mom to make sure of it. NTA.” ~ legeekycupcake
“NTA her own fault for being an idiot about a 2 year old.”
“Some children develop slower in speech, while some people never develop into decent human beings.” ~ Comfortable_Prior873
“NTA. She deserves everything she gets for her hateful conduct.”
“Just so you know, my daughter didn’t really start talking until she was nearly 3.”
“Her doctor said it was well within the norm, and it partially depended on how much we talked to her at home.”
“So we made sure to ‘narrate’ everything we were doing…”
“‘I’m washing your arm now….This is an egg. Now I’m going to scramble it in the pan for your breakfast…'”
“‘Do you like this blue sweater? It’s warm and cozy…. Etc.'”
“The more you talk to her, the more language she’ll pick up.”
“She’s in her 20s now, has a high IQ, a great sense of humor, and she never shuts up, lol.” ~ columbospeugeot
OP added…
“Edit: I have no idea what other stuff she’s been written up for since I only found out when HR informed me that ‘discussing private medical information covered by a coworker’s insurance is worthy of a fourth write up.'”
“She’s decent enough at her job, clients like her, etc.”
“She worked hard to get to her position too.”
“So I have no idea why she’d take pot shots knowing I go to HR (there was a harassment problem with a male coworker).”
“Maybe y’all are right and she’s TRYING to get fired.”
Well OP, Reddit is in your corner.
That sort of language and abuse should never be tolerated.
Reddit agrees, you clearly did what you needed to do.
Best of luck for you and your daughter.