When ThrowRAbiglover and her boyfriend experimented with their lovemaking, the result was a mutual win.
But when she was asked why she hadn’t tried the rear maneuver before with her ex, her response was a big fail.
After she upset him, she took to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit where she asked:
“AITA for lying to my boyfriend about the size of his penis compared to my ex’s?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“Last night my (22 F[emale]) boyfriend (26 M[ale]) and I tried anal. It was both our first time doing it and we both enjoyed it. Me especially.”
“My boyfriend noticed this and afterwards asked why I hadn’t tried it with my ex to which I replied (without thinking) ‘Uhh, because I don’t have a death wish.’”
“Confused, he asked me what I meant. Realizing I kinda trapped myself in a corner, I was just honest and said ‘His dick was too big.'”
“My boyfriend froze and turned to me and asked how that’d be possible since I had told him (during sex) that he was the biggest I’d ever had. I kinda just shrugged and said that was just dirty talk that I thought he’d like to hear.”
“He got really upset and said I was an a**hole for saying something like that and not meaning it. I told him I was sorry and that I liked the size of his penis much more than my ex’s. That didn’t help.”
“He left my apartment in a fit of rage and won’t return any of my calls or texts. I feel bad but I think he’s overreacting.”
“I talked about it with a friend and she said she tells her boyfriend the exact same thing even though it’s not true. AITA here?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
“OP lied unnecessarily, then minimizes her SOs feelings about being lied to, about something intimate. Anytime someone lies unnecessarily to their partner, then minimizes their feelings of being hurt when lied to, that makes them an a**hole.”
“Adult conversations are hard, doesn’t give you a pass to lie to get out of hard relationship conversations, that makes you an a**hole.”
“Besides, if it ‘really shouldn’t be that big of a deal’ then why did you lie in the first place, why not tell the truth… Blathering about overreacting is just signaling that you knew it would upset your partner, and being truthful wasn’t the most convenient thing for you, and now you want to make it the other person’s problem that you were dishonest.” – airplane_porn
“I’m gonna go with NAH.”
“You didn’t say it maliciously or anything, and the fact that you told him he was the biggest you’ve had shouldn’t be held against you – all guys want to hear that.”
“But at the same time, he can still be a little upset because for some reason us guys are self-conscious over our special little fellas, so to hear that your ex was bigger must be a bit of a kick in the teeth.”
“It might be because guys equate having a bigger package to having better sex, but he will feel incompetent compared to your ex.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong ladies, but it would be akin to saying his ex had bigger breasts or a tighter vagina? Please do not quote me on that.”
“Let him cool off and then have a chat with him and explain that bigger is not always better.” – prinkly
“Even better yet, tell him that the person a penis is attached to is wayyyyy more important than the penis itself.”
“Stop this weird obsession with penis size. Neither size is ‘better’ because it’s largely irrelevant, except for some edge cases where both extremes are bad. The person matters, not the penis.” – Nemento
Redditor owenrhys broke down the reasons explaining why the boyfriend was so upset.
“(a) she lied to him.”
“(b) she told him her ex had a much bigger penis than him in a graphic and flippant way, even though he categorically didn’t ask to know.”
“(c) he’s now insecure about the size of his penis compared to his ex. Penis size is a massive deal for men because of a societal stigma perpetuated by both men and women.”
“(d) she then disregarded his feelings and has accused him of ‘overreacting.'”
Here’s a big tip.
“LADIES: DO NOT TELL A GUY THAT HE’S THE BIGGEST YOU’VE EVER HAD IF THAT IS NOT A TRUE STATEMENT”
“Seriously, just don’t. No, not all guys want to hear that. If you need to comment on the size of his penis, just say ‘wow, it’s so big!'”
“You don’t need to bring up other guys and make a comparison to other penises to make him feel good. Think of anything else to say. Seriously.” – ban_circumvention_
“If a girl told me I was her biggest, I would ask if this was her first time.” – CaptainShitHead1
Here’s the thing about penis size.
“For many women, a massive penis is a problem. An ex of mine had an 8.5-inch one and we couldn’t go too fast in certain positions, couldn’t get too enthusiastic, couldn’t do anal.”
“It was limiting and I felt like we couldn’t really lose ourselves in the sex without the risk of permanently damaging my cervix. I genuinely prefer ‘average’ d*cks and, judging from my conversations with female friends, I’m not unusual in this.” – ugly-doris
“Honestly, a lot of times bigger d*ck = worse sex, because a straight man who knows he’s huge is more likely to think his Magic D*ck will do all the work.”
“More average sized guys tend to realize that some work is required if they want their lady to have a good time.” – sukinsyn
“big d*ck or small d*ck: until they learn that women usually (obvsly each case is different) don’t orgasm from penetration alone, they’re gonna be lousy in bed.” – laughingnottocry
Let’s get real.
“Not all men are concerned about size, but to be fair, it is something that is put out in the ether A LOT.”
“Just like with girls being objectified in basically every form of media ever and so have unhealthy expectations as to their bodies, men have something similar with size.”
“Now, I am not on the pity party train there: we don’t exactly get the short end of the stick (pun super intended). But I also think we need to grow up a bit collectively. If the other person is happy, and you both are enjoying it genuinely, then who gives a sh*t about the rest?”
“Like, you’d rather be too big and it be unpleasant, just so you can go back to your ‘bros’ and tell them you were too big so she hated it? It just makes no sense to me.”
“To be fair, though, don’t lie about stuff like that. It’s that kind of nonsense that worsens stereotypes and stigmas. It’s like pretending to have an orgasm. Just don’t. :)” – DilbertedOttawa
“Compatibility is the absolute most important! I would prefer average over large any day! Any time the topic of size comes up, I try to speak in terms of compatibility rather than actually comparing length and girth.”
“That way I don’t have to be dishonest to my partner and the conversation has more merit in my mind than ‘who is bigger?’ For example, my BF is slightly larger than I usually prefer, but is absolutely dedicated to the point of obsession with warming me up first.”
“So the size-that would otherwise be uncomfortable for me-in this case is balanced by the extra work he enjoys putting in to the experience. So we are still sexually compatible.”
“There are also different favorite positions that affect compatibility and feel different based on size, preferred speed and depth, and angle (which is dependent on a lot of different things too!) so that the same act with two different people can feel entirely different.”
“D*ck size is such a small factor overall. Anyone who asks me for a comparison of my exes gets a full explanation of my feelings on this and after about 15 minutes of my ranting, they usually don’t ask again lol” – LizaRhea
While many Redditors said that the OP shouldn’t have lied to her boyfriend about his size, a good majority of the comments emphasized that bigger isn’t always better.