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Guy Called Out By Girlfriend For Keeping Caricature Poking Fun At Her Nose In His Work Cubicle

artist sketching caricature of woman
AGEphotography/Getty Images

A caricature is a “picture, description, or imitation of a person in which certain striking characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic or grotesque effect.”

The impersonations of public figures on Saturday Night Live or South Park are caricatures.

Political cartoonists also use caricatures in their work.

And these cartoonish, exaggerated depictions have become a staple of tourist locations like boardwalks along the beach or ocean piers. Artists will offer quick, often colorful caricatures featuring the subject’s hobby or profession.

The head and facial features are usually oversized and exaggerated so the subject is easily identifiable without the artist needing to spend time capturing details.

However, if a person is insecure or self conscious about something like their hairline or the size of their ears or nose, a caricature is unlikely to be kind.

A man who liked a caricature of himself and his girlfriend found out she wasn’t a fan. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback on his decision to keep the portrait.

WorldlinessNearby865 asked:

“AITA for keeping a caricature of my girlfriend and saying she’s being ridiculous?”

The original poster (OP) explained:

“It’s actually a caricature of the both of us but she’s the one with the problem.”

“A couple weekends ago my girlfriend and I decided to take a walk by the beach and grab some ice cream. We spotted an artist doing cartoonistic drawings of people/couples and figured we’d get one of ourselves.”

“The couple before us got a relatively cute (a bit boring in my opinion) looking cartoon of the two of them, but I knew that with these guys the only guarantee is that the outcome is unpredictable.”

“So yeah, my guy starts drawing us while we just kept talking and eating our ice creams. He eventually finishes and shows us the drawing and it looks SICK AF!”

“I so wish I could upload it so you could see what I’m talking about, but that would obviously be a bad move seeing how she feels about it.”

“I’ve got big a** ears so in the cartoon I’m like a hybrid human Dumbo and my girlfriend looks more realistic (like herself), but her nose has been egregiously exaggerated.”

“She actually has a slightly bigger nose than normal, but its only noticeable when its pointed out/actively compared with others. Anyways, I figured she hated it when she was silent during the reveal then walked off.”

“I paid the man for his work, took the art, then went after my girlfriend. She explained in the car that he basically reignited her insecurity over her nose and didn’t want to see.”

“Alright cool, understood, but I already paid for it so I just kept it in my cubicle at work. Long story short, she saw that the art was in my cubicle and we got in a tiff about that because I apparently shouldn’t have kept it after she told me how it made her feel.”

“I said she was being ridiculous since its in my cubicle and I couldn’t just throw it away.”


The OP summed up their situation. 

“Just it existing seems to be making her insecure which is obviously not ideal.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

A majority of Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole (YTA).

“YTA. How much did you pay for it that you are this hung up on it? Also keeping it isn’t gonna bring the money back. It will harm your relationship.”

“Also, if you really want to keep it, maybe don’t keep it in a spot she can see? It makes her insecure and you know that. She isn’t being ridiculous. You are.” ~ Kari0305

“YTA. Your girlfriend is reconsidering the relationship right now. Not because of the picture, but because of your reaction to her objection.”

“You completely dismissed her feelings and you even hung the picture where it can be seen by others. Your immaturity and lack of compassion is showing.”

“That’s going to prove to be a more expensive picture than you thought. You should have cut your losses at the artist’s fee.” ~ Little_Outside

“YTA. At the very least, put it away. Perhaps your girlfriend is being a bit sensitive, but she has expressed that this is highlighting an insecurity of hers, and you went ahead and displayed it at work.”

“If you want to save it as a memory in an album or memory box, fine. But displaying it is sh*tty given you know it makes her sad.”

“You are communicating to her that her feelings matter less than your slight enjoyment of the art. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to even enjoy a piece of art I knew made my partner feel bad.” ~ gcot802

“Personally, I would never go to a caricature artist because I know I don’t wanna get dragged like that. But, you said yourself that the couple before you got a normal and boring-looking pic.”

“If I saw that, I would think, ‘Oh, he’s not so bad then,’ and maybe give it a shot. I expect that’s what happened with your girlfriend.”

“YTA and an idiot for dying on this hill.” ~ evhanne

“YTA. Is what you paid for it equal to the value of her feelings for you? If she saw it, others can too. You have a space to represent her, and that’s the image of her you chose to display.” ~ chippy-alley

But a substantial number felt the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

“NTA. What the f*ck did she expect when getting a caricature? A beautiful portrait?” ~ Sheev_Palpedeine

“NTA. It is a cartoon drawing, get outta here with the whole ‘ooooh it’s triggered my insecurities and deep rooted psychological trauma’.”

“Literally, the only thing that I think was an a**hole move was putting it up in public when you knew she didn’t like it—that was a bit bold of you. Apart from that, the rest is all petty crap.” ~ Wrong_Midnight_1618

“Yep, maybe I’m an a**hole, but I don’t have much patience for someone who willingly sits for a caricature and then cries that they exaggerated their features. That’s literally what a caricature is.”

“I’m not interested in someone who takes themselves that seriously. Girlfriend isn’t a huge a**hole, but her reaction is tiresome. NTA.” ~ drfuzzysocks

“NTA. You commissioned a caricature and they always exaggerate people’s bodies. Your girlfriend should have either asked the artist to go easy on her or not done it in the first place if she was that sensitive about her nose.”

“You enjoyed the art and hung it in your personal space at work. It’s not like you hung it in your living room beside the TV or something.” ~ Flashy-Equivalent-22

While some thought everyone sucked (ESH).

“Mild ESH…I would further ask OP, is this the relationship you want? There are people that are afraid to be different and they don’t match well with fun seekers.”

“For example, if you’re really into Halloween or LARP and she is scared to wear a real costume because people will make fun of her. Or if you like to do karaoke and she is afraid people will make fun of her voice.”

“Or any of the million other ways you like to express yourself. If she isn’t going to be comfortable in her own skin at your side, maybe you’re not compatible. Are you OK with being less to meet her where she’s at?”

“If this is the relationship you want, you can apologize for hurting her feelings and move on. Sometimes it’s not about being right.” ~ RugbyLapDog

“It doesn’t help that his girlfriend ‘shouldn’t have seen it’. That caricature highlights an insecurity of hers, and his colleagues can now see it regularly.”

“The drawing itself might objectively look fine, but she’s really insecure about it especially about her nose, and might not see it for what it is. Now she thinks that once his colleagues see her exaggerated nose in the drawing, they’ll also see her nose as badly as she sees it.”

“I bet most people would be upset if their partner knowingly chose a picture they think they look absolutely horrendous in to display in their cubicle. Out of all the pictures they would be ok with displaying.”

“It’s a mild ESH for me—nobody is a huge monster here, but they could both do much better. I mentioned why for OP.”

“For his girlfriend, it’s because she treated the artist poorly only because she didn’t like the result, walking away without intending to pay him, and because I don’t think it’s okay to tell your partner to throw away a drawing they paid for, especially when you also requested it and didn’t pay a penny.”

“OP can keep the drawing, but he should keep it in a drawer at home or somewhere out of empathy for his girlfriend’s image issues, somewhere she can’t see it.” ~ andra_quack

“ESH. My dude, her feelings matter, even if you don’t agree with them.”

“Caricature artists exaggerate features, so she’s kind of an a** for agreeing and letting you pay for it if this was going to be a sore spot for her.”

“You’re an a** for steamrolling her feelings.” ~ Tomboyish717

The OP could have been more sensitive to his girlfriend’s feelings, but his girlfriend agreed to have a caricature done.

Overall, Reddit found some fault with both parties.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.