Redditor throwawaynodog is a 31-year-old female who has been dating a guy, who is a dog owner, for eight months.
Although she is opposed to the idea of herself keeping a dogs as a pet because of their needs she can’t meet, she does not have an issue with her boyfriend having a dog.
All that changed when he came over to her place to help install a new wall mount, and he failed to inform her he was bringing his beloved pet.
After causing major drama, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for kicking out boyfriend because of his dog?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“I know the title is going to get people riled up, but hear me out on this. I (31 female) have been dating ‘Dude’ (29 male) for 8 months. It has been great.”
“He has a dog that is 8, that he has had since she was a puppy. I have nothing against dogs, I’m just not a fan of owning them simply because 1. I live in an apartment and I feel they need a yard and 2. I don’t want to do all the clean up that is involved with them.”
“He takes his dog most places with him, which is fine. She is very well behaved and has never caused any problems.”
“In my place, I have an elderly cat as well as a guinea pig (and gerbils, 3 fish tanks, and a partridge in a pear tree). I usually go over to his place to hang out for the sake of his dog.”
“The other day he offered to come over to my place to hang out and help me install a new wall mount. I said it was fine.”
“Without asking if it was okay first or even bringing it up to me, he had brought his dog with him. My apartment doesn’t allow dogs even as guests, so I had a bit of anxiety about it.”
“His dog was doing fine, when suddenly she started barking like crazy which seemed out of character for her. Dude then said, ‘oh I forgot, you should put your animals away in a locked room’.”
“I asked why and he laughed and said with a smile, ‘dogs name is a murderer. She killed my ex’s rabbits. She got into the cage and everything. They aren’t safe until they are locked in a room’.”
“I was pissed. He knew I had small animals.”
“This wasn’t a surprise thrown at him. And he knew about this issue, and brought his dog over without permission or warning.”
“I told him he needed to leave now, and take the dog with him. He isn’t invited over anymore.”
“He got upset at me and called me a dog hater, said that is just how dogs are and I should be more accepting of her. I didn’t respond, just continued to push him out the door.”
“AITA here?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA, you are not a dog hater for not wanting a dog in your room, and it isn’t even allowed!”
“He also sounds like he is not considerate of your feelings. As he jokes about the dog eating small animals and even bringing the dog without asking.” – mademoiselletal
“NTA. You don’t hate dogs. You don’t even hate his dog. You’re upset because;”
“He didn’t ask if it was okay to bring the dog.”
“He asked you to put up the animals that live in YOUR home, therefore making it THEIR home.”
“He told you a story about the dog that killed rabbits.”
“None of that is normal. I always ask first before I bring my dogs over to someone’s house.”
“You don’t know if they’re scared, or allergic of dogs. You did the right thing by kicking him out.” – Pikachu_Princess90
“NTA and I’m a certifiable dog-nut and work in animal welfare. This is way bigger than being a dog thing, this is a lack of empathy thing.”
“One of my dogs is dog selective. He likes some dogs but doesn’t like others.”
“He’s never hurt another dog but he is a biiiig dog. I do not bring him around other people’s dogs.”
“I made sure the vet knows and we schedule his appointments on cat day or he wears a muzzle if it can’t wait (he’s muzzle trained).”
“Why? Because I love my dog like family and I assume other people love their pets just as much.”
“I would never, ever want to subject another pet owner to the loss of or damage to their pet.” – finntastic74
“NTA. Why on earth didn’t he tell you that he was bringing his dog, AND that it murders smaller animals knowing you have small animals???? What?????”
“This is way bigger than being a dog thing, this is a lack of empathy thing. He has no empathy for the fact you love your critters, too.”
“Lose Dude. You and your pets deserve better.” – Backstreetberlin
“Wait, what the actual f’k?? He knows his dog has killed his ex’s small pets, he knows you have small pets, yet he brought his dog over without a specific dog invite??”
“That’s a huge red flag!”
“OP you are NTA but he sure is. He showed a total disregard for your pets, your apartment snd a lack of respect and consideration for you.”
“Dogs can be trained- my elderly lab (a bird hunting dog by nature) became friends with my green cheek conure, as did my rescue cat- your bf seems really nonchalant about the whole girlfriend pet massacre situation.” – MissionRevolution306
The OP clarified a few points that were raised in the thread.
“My friends are chiming in, telling me this is just my ‘anti dog mentality’ coming out, and that I should be more open to ‘doggos’.”
“It is really frustrating. I don’t understand how some people can be so love blind to a dog.”
She later added:
“Holy sh*t this blew up. I’m on break so work right now but a quick answer to question many have raised about what if when the time came for us to move in togerher: moving in with a partner is not an end game goal for me with relationships.”
“In all of my relationships, even serious and long term, I have preferred to live separately, so the pets having to live together would never be an issue”
Overall, Redditors remained appalled at the boyfriend’s nonplussed attitude when mentioning his dog’s mauling history and still bringing her over to the OP’s apartment.
They also warned her that his behavior was a huge red flag after revealing his lack of respect towards her and her pets.