Your boyfriend’s mother not liking you because they think you’re not good enough for their son is unfortunately an all too common situation.
But for one person on Reddit, their boyfriend’s mother took things to a startlingly cruel extent–sticking them in coach for a family vacation instead of first class like the rest of the family, because of their blue collar background.
They weren’t sure about how they handled things, so they went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the username NoTGoingThank on the site, asked:
“AITA for refusing to get on a flight?”
They explained:
“My boyfriend’s parents paid for them, my boyfriend’s siblings and their SO to all go on a flight to Cabo for spring break. Becky his mom hasn’t seem to like me for some reason she always makes snide remarks about my parents blue collar jobs and my field is nursing.”
“We get to the airport and Becky got 7 other people first class tickets and me 1 coach ticket. She told me I was used to it and she had a free coach ticket so I should be grateful for going.”
“They all did their express check ins and left me in the long line for me to think about what the heck is going on. I had to keep from crying the whole time in line.”
“I got up to the counter and there was a baggage fee to me. My boyfriend at the time never once helped me through the coach line or said anything to his mom.”
“I looked over at his mom’s smug face as I was about to pay the checked baggage fee. And I let all of my frustrations out on the attendant and started crying.”
“Basically she said don’t go with that family sweetie they don’t appreciate you. Continues to cry and took my luggage and got out and got out of line with the super sweet check in woman.”
“I was so upset on how I was treated and started crying on my boyfriend in the airport about how his mother was treating me.”
“I broke up with him at the airport and his mother was so embarrassed. I told her what a b*tch she was.”
“My boyfriend has been blowing up my phone saying how could I do that to his mother and just back out of a vacation very last minute and wasted everyone’s time and money.”
Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
As you might imagine, they were emphatically on OP’s side and found their ex-boyfriend’s mother’s behavior shockingly inappropriate.
“NTA, the check in lady was correct. If you would have got on the plane, you would have been treated like this for the entire vacation. It was absolutely the right decision to stand up for yourself.
“As far as wasting money, she said the ticket was free and I’m sure she didn’t spend much on your hotel accommodations.”
“As far as wasting time, you wasted enough of your own time on a relationship with your boyfriend if he isn’t going to stand up for you.”
“They are going to say that you should be happy for any kind of vacation and not look down on a coach ticket, but his mother was being pointedly rude to you.” –Complex-Lemon371
“Godd*mn, I hope nice things happen to that check in lady. Public-facing airport employees are one of the professions that’s really been made to eat sh*t in the last couple years, and the fact that this person still has the bandwidth for a life-changing amount of compassion is super impressive.”
“And not only did OP not waste anything she should feel bad about, she provided a public fu*king service to the rest of this sh*tty family by dragging this passive-aggressive conflict into the light.”
“The other SOs got important information about their MIL, because surely she’ll have to fixate on another one of them to haze (and she’ll probably use the vacation as an opportunity to do so, since she has all these frustrations to vent about being “embarrassed”!).”
“And OP’s ex and his siblings were all confronted with what is sure to be a defining problem in their personal lives — do you prioritize mommy and her money at the cost of letting your SO be treated like sh*t and potentially never having a healthy romantic relationship?”
“They may well opt to keep doing that, but at least they can’t deny that those are the terms anymore.” –yet_another_sock
“The mom was absolutely not embarrassed so OP had BETTER NOT FEEL GUILTY!”
“Mom set this up from the get-go. She spent absolutely nothing to insult OP: free ticket and an extra probably even undeclared person in the hotel room.”
“I’m quite sure OP would have been on the hook for all costs: meals, transportation that there just doesn’t happen to be extra room for her on, etc.”
“Mom wanted two things out of this: to get rid of OP and to be a ‘victim’. And with OP’s boyfriend firmly in his mother’s pocket, she was going to get both, one way or the other.”
“In the immortal words of wisdom: ‘A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.'”
“OP did the best and only thing she could do for her own sanity. ABSOLUTELY not an AH.” –quats5
“When a stranger sees how your family treats your partner for a couple of minutes and immediately tells them to break up with you, I don’t understand how that doesn’t make you at least think not everything is as cool as you thought it was.” –letstrythisagain30
“Someone give that check in lady a golden star and a hug for seeing right through all that and calling it out for OP. Random people appear in our lives for the right reason and this lady was one of them.”
“(Heck I’d call the airline to thank the lady because they probably never get a thank you)”
“Good for you OP for walking away and breaking up with him. Keep those messages though- it sure sounds like they are the type of people to keep after you and you do NOT need that.”
“A clear record of their behavior will help protect you going forward (including calls and texts etc)” –S3xySouthernB
“NTA!”
“The fact she got seven (7)!!! other people first class tickets and yet magically the budget ran out when it came to you tells you everything you need to know OP.”
“Boyfriends mom was pulling a most assholish power play on you, indirectly saying you’re not good enough for the family by directly refusing to let you fly in first class with them.”
“‘Hahahahah let’s put the garbage in second class where she belongs’ – I bet she thought she was so damn smart with that move lol.”
“The fact that boyfriend didn’t even speak up once in your favor shows that he’s so deep in mommy’s back pocket that he’s either willfully or unknowingly refusing to recognise her appalling behavior and that’s a major red flag as well. As in run for the hills red flag.”
“You’re on the ground right now, but in the future you’re free to soar and find someone far better than a spineless momma’s boy and his garbage family.” –mumismatist
“NTA! Good for you! Had you gone, you would have been mistreated the whole time and I bet you anything, you would have made to feel like this vacation was a handout to you.”
“The mother should have either bought everyone coach, gotten you a first class ticket, or your AH boyfriend should have switched his ticket and allowed you to sit in fc. That would have been the gentleman thing to do.”
“OH AND YOU DIDN’T EMBARRASS HIS MOMMY! She did that all to herself and she’s feeling that way, because deep down she knows what she did was rotten and that makes her, TAH!” –WillLoveCoffee4Ever1
“I can only imagine what other things were in store for OP once they got to Cabo. Mommy paying for everyone’s food except hers, fancy adjacent suites for everyone but her, reservations for seven instead of eight, etc.”
“It was going to be a whole trip of unexpected fees and differential treatment while her boyfriend gaslit her about not being grateful for being allowed on the trip in the first place.” –TremulousHand
“NTA. You got out of a really miserable situation. His mother would likely continue to treat you like second class scum, and he would defend her and allow her to do so. Breaking up with him was the best thing you could have done for the peace and happiness of your future self.”
“If he’s going to blow up your phone about his mom and her ‘waste of time and money,’ block him. You don’t owe this piece of sh*t family anything, certainly not free space in your head and added stress.” –ShrekWife666
Hopefully OP can have better luck with their next boyfriend’s family.