Pets are more than objects people own, like a pair of shoes or a favorite coffee mug, to most pet owners. To ask someone to discard a pet requires a really good reason.
So one boyfriend figured he should check in with the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit before pressing his girlfriend to get rid of her dog.
While he asked AITA at first, in the end it turned out he hadn’t taken action yet, so he asked “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIBTA).
Redditor t_swanr00 asked:
“AITA for asking my [girlfriend] to get rid of her dog?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained (edited sentence length for ease of reading):
“So me (m[ale] 23) and my girlfriend (f[emale] 21) have been dating for two years and we’ve moved in together three months ago.”
“My girlfriend was living with her mother prior and they had a dog for four years. When we were talking about moving in together, she begged me to let her bring her dog.”
“She said she would pay the pet deposit and I wouldn’t have to clean up after her. I never had a pet before but I agreed.”
Unfortunately they’re not one big happy household.
“But after living with them for three months, I don’t think I want the dog around anymore.”
OP then explained why he didn’t want the dog around.
It wasn’t because his girlfriend didn’t do all the things she promised.
“Typically, when I would go to her old house, she would lock the dog out of her bedroom to spend time with me, but now the dog is just everywhere. At night, she’d rather cuddle with the dog than me.”
“She’s takes it for three walks a day. Most times she brings it for car rides and then makes me go into whatever store alone so she can sit in the car with the dog.”
“Wherever my girlfriend goes in the house, the dog follows. If my girlfriend sits or lays down, the dogs sits or lays down with her.”
“And I swear when she comes home, she kisses the dogs face like 20 times before she gives me one single kiss.”
“I asked her last week why she’s so obsessed with her dog and she replied that her family was never affectionate or made her feel safe so when she got the dog and it loved her and wanted to be with her all the time, she and the dog became ‘best friends’.”
“If that’s the case she shouldn’t need the dog anymore because I’m here now to love her and keep her safe.”
So OP’s question was:
“Would I be an asshole if I asked her to give the dog back to her mother?”
While there are multiple responses Redditors can give, the social media platform was united in telling this boyfriend YTA (You’re The A**hole).
“‘…she and the dog became “best friends.” If that’s the case she shouldn’t need the dog anymore because I’m here now to love her and keep her safe…’.”
“Is that how you would feel if her best friend was a human? That she shouldn’t need that relationship any more, because now she has you?”
“That’s insanely jealous, controlling, and petty. Then we’re talking about a DOG??? And you’re jealous of it? How insecure are you?”
“You can tell your gf that you wish you had more 1-on-1 time, like cuddling at night. Or that you wish you had more signs of affection between the two of you.”
“But affection and attention are not limited resources. More for the dog doesn’t mean less for you.”
“If you do ask her to get rid of the dog, she’s not going to automatically transfer that energy onto you. In fact, she’ll probably feel more resentful towards you for asking to give up something she loves.”
“Bad idea. YTA.” ~ booplydooply2
“YTA – I’d leave you before I’d get rid of my pet. You already know how this will end.”
“And LOL @ the comment about her walking her dog 3 times a day. The NERVE.” ~ Johciee
“YTA. You complain that she takes dog for 3 walks a day. Trust me, you would complain much more if she didn’t!” ~ verycrazycatlady6
“YTA- Dude, that is dog ownership. You have to care for it, give it attention, and feed and walk it.
“Imagine if someone only let you go to the bathroom three times a day and you had to plan accordingly? And is it surprising that the dog gets kisses when the dog obviously loves someone who loves it, and follows her when she is its whole world?”
“This is literally what owning a dog is, there is nothing weird or unusual about this. If you can’t handle this, you need to date someone who doesn’t want pets.” ~ ThatCatUnderTheBed
“I cannot understand the level of insecurity that a person would have to hold in order to believe that they have to compete with a pet.”
“It’s an entirely different sort of relationship!” ~ Sweeper1985
“YTA. Do her a favour and break up with her, the resentment will drive you two apart in the future anyway.”
“I have had a dog for 7 years, through 4 bad breakups. Those guys are gone, but my dog is still here, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” ~ Phobiaofyou
Redditor after Redditor came to the same conclusion.
“Seems like OP is jealous of a dog.” ~ batikbaby
The OP added an update after being declared an a**hole by basically everyone.
“ok I get it I’m the asshole. I will not be asking my girlfriend to get rid of her dog.”
“But I’m also not breaking up with her over me being a little jealous.”
He then let everyone know who does most of their grocery shopping to answer several Redditors’ questions…
“The only part where I was like ‘hm, he has a point’ was the bit about the car rides and him going into the store alone. But if he’s never communicated he doesn’t like that…” ~ Upstairs_Bee
…and admits he was complaining about having to spend a few minutes alone in a store.
“Also clarification on shopping. I meant just for trips to the store for a couple things.”
“My gf does most of the grocery shopping for us so I don’t like having to go alone.”
Oof, dude, your update was going so well.
“Aaand there is a reason why. His GF is doing the grocery shopping alone, yet he has the audacity to complain that he occasionally has to go in alone to buy a couple of things.”
“Like he’s afraid he’s going to get lost or what? If she’s solely responsible for this chore, the least he could do is occasionally go in for a couple of things, it’s not going to kill him.”
“His problem isn’t that she brings the dog with them. In his edit he says he’s perfectly ok with letting her do the grocery shopping alone, he’s just whining that he has to occasionally pop into a grocery store for a couple things ALONE.”
“How dare she do this to him? Poor fella!”~ Brookes19
Probably should have kept that shopping clarification to yourself.
Now YTA all over again.
Redditors, when you do your mea culpa update, don’t dig yourself a new hole.