It’s the end of 2021, and somehow, we still have to have conversations about the morals around breastfeeding.
Some people are still taking the “breasts are sexual” argument way too far, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor nipple-shirt was furious when a guy she barely knew accused her of sexual harassment, because she was breastfeeding her baby near him.
When he took his argument a step further, the Original Poster (OP) was appalled.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling a man that I didn’t consent to seeing his nipples?”
The OP went out to spend time with a friend.
“I’m 26 [female]. I am a new mom, so I’m pretty much exhausted all the time. I get barely any sleep, and honestly, my body is just so tired.”
“A couple of months ago, one of my friends (26 [female]) called me and my baby to go out, so I thought it’d be nice to take a day trip, since I haven’t done it in so long.”
“She also invited her boyfriend (28 [male]) and one of his friends (28 [male]).”
“We spent the day downtown and ate lunch in a nice restaurant.”
“It was fun until my baby got a little fussy, so I decided to feed her.”
“We were at a park area, so I just sat down on a bench that was relatively out of the way, and started feeding her.”
“My friend and the others were taking some pictures, so I kept our bags next to me to watch them.”
One of the guys who came along yelled at her.
“Her boyfriend’s friend (L) decided to come over to grab something from his bag.”
“When he saw me breastfeeding, he got sooo p**sed.”
“He made a face and demanded I stop feeding because he didn’t consent to seeing my nipples.”
“I apologized and said that I was sitting out of his view and I needed to feed my baby.”
“He started insulting me and getting louder, and I got really embarrassed.”
“I just got up and moved away until my baby was done and then I tucked everything back in.”
“It was a bit awkward after that, and I just told my friend that I was going to go back home and left.”
The OP later went to celebrate her friend’s birthday with her.
“My friend recently turned 26, so she threw a little get-together.”
“My mom watched my baby for me and I went to my friend’s house.”
“She had a couple of other people there, including her bf and L.”
“When L saw me, he rolled his eyes and said, ‘Ugh, not you again.'”
“But the party was fun, and my friend had a great time.”
“Everyone was drinking except for me, because I still needed to go home and take care of my baby.”
“L was pretty rude to me the whole time, but I avoided him.”
During a competition, the OP called L out.
“Soon, there was an arm-wrestling contest between the guys, and L lost to my friend’s bf.”
“He started getting a little angry and asked for a rematch. He then ripped his shirt off and started flexing to prepare.”
“I was honestly grossed out, and when he saw my face, he asked me, ‘What crawled up your a**?'”
“I got a little mad and responded, ‘Please put your shirt back on. I didn’t consent to seeing your nipples.'”
“He said, ‘That doesn’t work because I’m a guy.'”
“I asked him how it was different, and he just rolled his eyes.2
“I was getting angrier now and just repeated, ‘Please put your shirt back on.'”
“It dissolved into an argument that ended with him calling me a b**h, crazy feminist, and an uptight a**hole.”
“Later my friend told me that I probably made too much of a fuss over a shirt.”
“Now I’m wondering, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out this qualified as sexual harassment.
“Seriously, the guy practically sexually harassed her while she was just trying to breastfeed her child.”
“And yes I say sexually harassed, because he kept acting as if what she was doing was sexual when it wasn’t.” – ThePyodeAmedha
“OP, L sexually harassed you, and you need to tell your friend, ‘I do not want to be at any gathering where L is available to sexually harass me again.’ If you and BF invite him, don’t invite me.” – jdtrouble
“It infuriates me when people tell lactating parents to stop feeding their child because it makes them uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable, it’s because they are sexualizing the act of a baby eating. It’s borderline pedophilic in my opinion.” – Tayloren52
Others said no one should have tried to stop the OP from breastfeeding.
“Where I live it’s illegal to stop a woman from breastfeeding in public. You can literally nurse your baby anywhere and no one can tell you to stop.”
“Restaurant? Yes. Clothing store? Yes. Middle of the street? Yes. Church? Yes.” – alexisdr
“I live in Romania and here you can get a fine for discrimination if you ask a woman to cover up while she is feeding a baby.”
“It’s a law that was passed this year, pretty late if you ask me, considering this should have always been a common-sense practice.” – JohnThena
Some said the people in the group were worried about the wrong things.
“The guy was being consistently an a** to OP the whole meeting, to which, surprisingly, nobody bats an eye, but then OP starts talking back to him, and then it’s the end of the world. Absolutely ridiculous. NTA.” – Artistic_Cost_2340
“That guy is a complete d**k! How dare he make a comment about a woman doing something that we were literally made to do. They were made to feed our children and when used for that there is nothing sexual about it.”
“OP was too nice to him frankly. As soon as he started his s**t the first time, I would have told him to F off because he doesn’t get a vote, and being that there are laws allowing it and he came to where she was, not the other way around.”
“Why is OP’s friend even spending time with that guy? I can’t imagine any of my friends choosing to spend time with someone like that.” – JuryNo7670
“NTA. And I find it enraging that your friend or her boyfriend or no one else seems to have stuck up for you.”
“YOU ARE FEEDING YOUR CHILD. IT IS NOT A SEXUAL THING. I get so mad when men act like this it’s so childish.” – KiwimagnoliaA
While the OP thought she might have been wrong for speaking up the way she did, the subReddit didn’t think so. The guy was making an issue out of something that shouldn’t have been, especially since she wasn’t doing it right in front of him in the first place.