We’ve all heard of feuding siblings and even issues between twins.
But it’s less common to hear about a twin spreading false allegations about their twin’s partner, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Cute_ginger_2 had spent a lifetime with a twin sister who did not respect her boundaries, but when she was preparing to get married, she was shocked by how far her sister was willing to go to try to sabotage the happy couple.
When her twin sister made a move on her future husband and then made false accusations about him, the Original Poster (OP) knew it was time to cut her out of her life.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for blocking my twin sister because she tried to sleep with my fiancé?”
The OP had a complicated relationship with her twin sister.
“For context, my twin and I are identical twins but different heights due to childhood illness. I am shorter and more petite due to the illness, but I am now a healthy 28 (Female) adult.”
“My fiancé (29 Male) is now my husband.”
“My twin and I already had a complicated relationship due to her not respecting boundaries, expecting me to be available whenever she wanted, and having hissy fits any time I spent time with my own friends.”
“But then SHE would cancel our plans an hour after we were supposed to meet to spend time with her friends. This was a continual ongoing issue throughout our whole lives.”
“To her, I should be available to her 110% of the time, hate any friends I made, hate any guy I dated, I should only want to be with her.”
The OP was furious with her sister for pushing her husband’s boundaries, as well.
“My husband is an amazing, patient, handsome, fun-loving man. I could not ask for a better life partner.”
“When we started dating, my twin reacted to him like all of my exes (interrogated him, assumed he was going to be abusive for (x number of reasons), hostile, etc… to clarify my husband is NOT abusive.”
“My husband knew that being close to my family was REALLY important to me and made his best effort to get my twin’s approval. He jumped through all of the hoops and trials and even made friends (or so we thought) with my twin.”
“He is now also really close with my parents and grandparents and sees them regularly even if I am at work.”
“My twin is also married (and was engaged at the time), so we thought nothing of her now being friendly with my husband.”
But then the OP’s twin sister went way too far.
“One evening while my husband and my twin were hanging out (we were roommates at the time, and the couples were in separate bedrooms), and they had a good chat about life.”
“When they went to hug goodnight, my twin pressed her boobs on my husband and said, ‘I appreciate what we have, whatever this is,’ and tried to kiss him.”
“My husband rejected her advances and then called me immediately afterward (I was at work).”
“I tried asking my twin what happened for context and she just gaslit me about it.”
“She also had a meltdown right before my wedding and has been super petty since.”
“I have now blocked her because she refuses to apologize for trying to sleep with my husband and spreading rumors.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that she was NTA, except for waiting so long to block.
“NTA, I hope her remarks about your spouse haven’t upset him. To be honest, I wouldn’t talk to her again out of respect for him.”
“It’s particularly strange because, according to her husband, identical twins that I have known have generally desired to be treated as unique individuals rather than as deeply ingrained or as people who are out to take each other’s lives.” – xbabyvelvet
“OP, definitely NTA! Please watch your back. Your twin sounds toxic and doesn’t seem to have your best interests at heart.” – Melodic_Ranger926
“OP needs to learn to stop putting her husband in awkward situations. It’s OP’s mess to fix and that’ll start with distancing from said twin. Blocking is a good start.”
“The next step is telling everyone what happened, the history of similar occurrences, and warning everyone not to act as sister’s flying monkeys.”
“If the twin never faces any consequences for being a sh*t sister, why would she bother changing?” – ExcitingTabletop
“The OP should stop placing her husband in uncomfortable situations, OP has to learn. The first step in cleaning up OP’s mess will be to cut ties with said twin.”
“It’s an excellent idea to block. The next step is to explain what happened, provide a history of related incidents, and issue a warning to everyone about acting like their sister’s flying monkeys.”
“Why would Twin bother changing if there are no penalties for being a bad sister?” – butterflyxboo
“For letting her sister treat her husband in this manner, OP is a jerk. OP needed to have established appropriate limits as soon as she began accusing him of being abusive. The husband is lucky that his sister didn’t try to make up a bogus accusation against him.”
“If my spouse put me in a scenario like this with their family, I would be really angry with them and might even reconsider my relationship with them.” – xhoneypeach
Others agreed and were sure the OP’s sister would never take accountability.
“She’s taking her time but eventually, she’ll think to say to you, ‘I was testing him. I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t cheat on you. He passed!'” – nylonvest
“Since the beginning, your sister has been poisonous, and you have tolerated it.”
“Eliminate her permanently. No thanks for accepting. Too much harm has been done. In my opinion, I would quickly file for divorce from you if you were my partner and you had forgiven your sister.
“Inform your family that you won’t be at the get-togethers she attends.” – quietxgirl
“NTA for blocking your sister, but YTA for not doing it sooner.”
“She’s a narcissist and evil. You need to shed her and her toxicity from your life immediately. You owe her nothing. You’ve been too nice to her, she doesn’t deserve it, and you are being an AH to yourself and your husband.” – HotRodHomebody
“Your sister has been toxic since day one, and you allowed it.”
“Cut her out for good. No accepting apologies. too much damage is done. Personally, if you were my partner and you forgave your sister after her, Sexually assaulting me and then spreading lies, I’d divorce you in a heartbeat.”
“Tell your family, and gatherings she is in you will not be.” – WinterFront1431
“The twin sister and her husband might need to be reminded of the definitions of slander and false accusations. A cease and desist letter from a lawyer might serve as a solid reminder. Cut communications with your sister and her husband. If anyone else believes her, do the same.”
“You seem unable to put your foot solidly down where your twin is concerned. Your husband sounds like a gem. Protect him. Protect each other.” – AmbienWalrus1
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a few meaningful clarifications.
“I want to say thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and added to this conversation. As I have said to some, this was more of a vent post than genuinely wondering if I was the a**hole.”
“Also, just cause my parents keep trying to guilt trip me into mending things with my twin. So I am posting here because I feel like I am completely rational for cutting her out of my life.”
“But when I visit my parents, they keep trying to get me to make amends with my twin ‘because she is sad and having a hard time.’ So this is more of an (I have cut my twin out for x,y,z reason but my parents are making me feel like an asshole post).”
In short, the OP didn’t intend to end the block.
“At this moment, I have no intention of EVER having contact with her again. Even if she did apologize.”
“When the event first happened, my hope originally was that it was a misunderstanding. It clearly was not, and when she didn’t apologize to my husband, that was it. Out of our lives for good.”
“I wanted her to apologize to my husband for his closure because he didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was. I don’t expect my husband to interact with me ever again, nor would I ask him to. It has been almost a year since we limited and cut off contact.”
“She didn’t start the rumors until after the incident. Like I said, they were good friends up until that point. We obviously started cutting ties after the incident and didn’t hear about the rumors until much later.”
“I wouldn’t force my husband to live or have relations with someone if they were actively trying to sobatoge him or cause him harm.”
“Also, it is only my twin and her husband who are spreading rumors. As I said earlier, no one in my family believes the things she is saying nor agrees with her behavior.”
“The current issue is that my parents want to try to make up with my twin and her husband because they feel bad for her. I have zero plans or wishes to reconnect with my twin.”
The OP was also starting to have issues with her parents.
“The relationship with my parents has become more limited the more they suggest we mend the relationship with my twin. At first, my parents were really supportive, and on board with respecting our cut-off of my twin.”
“Only recently have they started trying to get us to contact her. She lives very far away, so not seeing her has not been a problem. However, I think more recently she’s been contacting my parents about how ‘sad’ she is about the whole thing.”
“Essentially, she is trying to guilt-trip my parents, who then are now trying to guilt-trip us. Which is quickly leading us to cut off contact with my parents more and more.”
“My other siblings have held strong in not allowing my twin any knowledge about my husband and me. We are worried that my parents might start telling my twin about our lives, which is a big no.”
To confirm, the OP’s sister’s husband was also part of the problem.
“People have been asking about her husband’s thoughts on it. My twin essentially has told her husband, ‘Nothing happened,’ and that she did not hit on my husband, that my husband is lying, etc.”
“Her husband believes her and is also pushing the rumors that my husband is a pedophile, etc.”
“Her husband spent so much time trying to s**t talk my husband at the family get-together that different individuals asked them to stop talking about my husband and me because they were getting so annoyed. It’s also how my husband and I found out about the rumors.”
“None of my other siblings believe or agree with the rumors that my twin and husband have spewed. Honestly, the only people still defending my twin and her husband’s actions are my parents.”
The subReddit completely understood why the OP was upset with her sister and encouraged her to block her.
If anything, they argued that the OP should have done it sooner before her sister could do something this serious.