Some brides spend moths thinking about what they’re going to wear on their big day. But, what if someone shows up wearing a nicer dress, or a nicer necklace.
Redditor BlueRoses95 encountered this very issue with her friend. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for refusing to remove a piece of jewelry at the request of my friend on her wedding day?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (31f) friend (30f), we’ll call Mary, got married last week and I was in her bridal party.”
“For context, we are friends from high school and all of her other bridesmaids were her friends from college who I hadn’t met until her Bachelorette party several months ago.”
“I also wasn’t familiar with anyone at this wedding outside of Mary’s immediate family.”
“I was supposed to attend the wedding with my own fiancé but he contracted Covid 5 days before we were supposed to leave and made the choice to stay home for everyone’s safety (I tested negative and we don’t live together).”
“Our 5th anniversary of our first date was 2 months ago and he got me a beautiful opal necklace on a gold chain specifically to wear to the wedding because it complimented my bridesmaid dress.”
“I asked Mary in our bridal party group chat if she was alright with us wearing our own jewelry to the wedding, she said no problem.”
OP went to the wedding.
“Day of the wedding comes, all of us bridesmaids and Mary meet early in the morning for pictures outside the chapel.”
“Mary sees my necklace and loves it, and actually asked if she could switch her necklace with mine. Some other bridesmaids chime in and say that it would be her ‘something borrowed.'”
“I tried as politely as I could to tell her that my fiancé got this for me to wear to the wedding and especially since he can’t be here, I’d like to keep it on. Mary and the other bridesmaids were persistent, saying it was her wedding and her pictures and I wasn’t being accommodating, but I firmly told them no.”
“Mary then said if I could at least take it off since it looked nicer than her own jewelry.”
“Again, I told her I’d rather not, I’d like to share the wedding photos of myself in the necklace with my fiancé. She was not happy, neither of the bridesmaids were either.”
“I received a lot of cold shoulders and dirty looks at the ceremony and reception. I felt awful. After the first dance, Mary’s sister came up to me to tell just how upset Mary was and rude it was that I upset her so on her big day.”
“Am I an asshole? It’s been more than a week and I’m still thinking about it nonstop and Mary hasn’t answered any of my texts.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“Is it just me.. but now I want to see a picture of this fabulous necklace.” ~ nurse_krachet
“Actually, I’m going to need to borrow it bc it’s beautiful and I can’t have anyone upstage me. Thanks!!!” ~ TheMoatCalin
“Pfft! Everyone knows that opals are bad luck unless it’s your birthstone AND they are bought for you, so the bride should be happy OP saved her marriage on her wedding day. Now hand that necklace over to this October birthday girl.” ~ thegirlj17
“Could you imagine being that spoiled & toxic? My goodness!!!”
“Also, my mom is Oct 2 so I’ll go ahead and take it for her thankyouverymuch.” ~ TheMoatCalin
“Omg I actually snorted. Honestly no offense! it’s very very beautiful but I was expecting it to be massive and flashy from the reaction. Holy crap NTA, she wanted to wear a necklace another woman’s fiancé gift on her wedding day.” ~ BrunchBitches
“I am someone who if I ever got married wouldn’t care too much about the rings (I don’t really do jewelry) and even I take issue with this. Yikes!” ~ hidefromthethunder
It’s OP’s jewelry.
“I’m with you on this one. Given how much of an asshole the bride, and the other bridesmaids were about this necklace; I confess that I expected to see something way more extravagant.”
“The necklace is just a lovely, good quality opal and diamond pendant, and I would say that the size is perfect for the occasion, and keeps it classy. The fact that it was a brand new gift from her partner, who couldn’t come due to covid; of course she’s going to wear it for him to see in the photos.”
“There are so many makers of magnificent bridal jewelry, which is actually costume jewelry but it’s almost impossible to tell that it’s not real. If the bride felt that she needed to outshine everyone else’s jewelry on the day, then I don’t understand why she didn’t buy a great replica piece instead.”
“The level of entitlement, selfishness and downright hostility that OP had to go through from the bride, the bridesmaids and brides sister was completely unacceptable. OP did not do anything wrong.”
“I guess she just learned a valuable lesson about who your friends are; and discovered that these people are not your true friends anymore. You deserve more respect, and these are not the right people to give you that.”
“Don’t worry about them anymore, and don’t attempt to contact them or try to apologize (for what?) They are not your friends. Let the trash take itself out!” ~ Beeesh1
“Yeah. I don’t get the bride or the other bridesmaid’s attitudes, and I literally just got married this summer. I wound up making my own jewelry because the headache of trying to get a custom piece of jewelry that incorporated our birthstones was not worth the money, which probably would have been a multiple of what we spent that day.”
“OP’s necklace is a lovely necklace, but like… wtf? Who demands someone give up something their fiance gave them?” ~ lianali
“Right? I mean, it’s a nice necklace. I would absolutely wear that. But it’s also just, like, a normal necklace.” ~ EGrass
I’m sure the bride’s jewelry was also stunning.