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Bride Demands Sister Cancel Surprise Anniversary Trip Because It’s Her Dream Honeymoon Destination

Couple on the beach
Anastasiia Krivenok/Getty Images

Some bridezillas don’t stop at the wedding day.

Redditor Traditional_List_263’s sister is pulling the bride card in regard to her honeymoon.

This put the Original Poster (OP) in a bit of a pickle, pushing her to post on subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

The OP asked:

“AITA for vacationing at my sister’s dream honeymoon destination?”

She went on to explain.

My sister has always been a “wedding” person, as in she’s dreamed and planned her wedding even before meeting her boyfriend.”

“Now that she’s engaged, she wants it all: expensive cinematic venue, guest list in the hundreds, designer dress, etc., and she cares a lot about being the ’the first’ and making everything ‘special and just hers.’”

“I legitimately have nothing against that, and I’m happy that she’s getting what she wants.”

“The issue arose because my boyfriend planned an anniversary getaway to a tropical island that happens to be where my sister planned to honeymoon.”

“I had no idea that she was planning to go there (they hadn’t actually booked anything, she had just ’planned on it).”

“And I didn’t know until I shared the news with my family during a bi-weekly dinner we have together.”

“Additionally, this was a surprise trip planned and paid for by my boyfriend who would absolutely have no way of knowing my sister’s plans (he’s not close with her or her fiancé).”

“She says that if I go there first, I’ll take away the surprise and specialness of the destination, and is insisting that I cancel or change the destination.”

“I’m pretty upset and called her entitled because there’s no way I’m going to tell my boyfriend to change something very nice he did for me!”

“My sister is now threatening to remove me from the wedding if I don’t change my vacation, and my parents are begging me to give in to keep the peace.”

“My boyfriend has offered to pick a new location because he hates seeing me upset and fighting with family, so I wonder if I’m being the AH for being so stubborn about it all.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA. Why should you have to cater to her insane behavior” – Imaginary_Being1949

“NTA. Your sister is being a bridezilla” – Anonymousbootyhole69

“She thinks no one can visit her honeymoon destination before her?”

“That is ridiculous.”


“Personally, I’d skip the wedding. She sounds like a pain in the a**.” – subsailor1968

Hey guys, I’m getting married in like seven years, and I’m gonna be breathing, walking, and eating food at my wedding, and I really deserve for it to be my special day, so y’know, the whole world needs to stop doing all of the things until then please because I don’t anyone to steal my spotlight, ok?”

“Yes, all 7.8 billion of you, after all, I’ve dreamed of this day since I was a little girl, so I should get it the way I want it! Thanks!”

“NTA” – Left-Car6520

You would only be T A if you catered to your entitled sister’s demands.”

“She does not own any destination other than her home.”

“She sounds very extra and exhausting.”

“Your BF spent his money and planned something special. Even though he has stated he would change the destination, probably at a cost, it would be pretty ungrateful.”

“Seriously, if she banned you from the wedding, is that really such a bad thing?”

“NTA” – Odd-End-1405

“would kill to know which special secret groundbreaking place this is lol. NTA.” – casl1999

“NTA. This is INSANE.”

“If your sister wanted to be the first person to set foot on what I assume is an inhabited island, she needed to be born in the Mesozoic Era.”

“And shame on your parents for pressuring you to indulge her on this.” – Shirley_Redemple

“Your sister is acting like a European colonist. She’s not the first to visit anything.
 – green1s

“NTA. Your sister is ridiculous. Her sense of entitlement is obnoxious. But your boyfriend is a keeper.” – introspectiveliar

Can you pass on a message to your sister from me? That was my honeymoon destination, and I don’t give her permission to steal it from me.“


“And now, no one else can ever go to Hawaii on their honeymoon without my permission. /s” – PipB1

“NTA. Make this your hill to die on, or the entitlement will never cease. I foresee a future of her having to be “first” to have a kid, to have birthday extravaganzas, etc.” – vance_mason

NTA – your sister is selfish and entitled. The proper way for her to handle this would be… OMG that’s amazing. I thought about going there. Tell me all about it so I know if it’s worth it.”

“Go on your trip and tell your sister to get over herself.” – firetothetrees


“She didn’t even tell anyone she planned to go there! You are supposed to magically just know it? She hasn’t even booked it… she just wants to!”

“Please, go and enjoy the vacation that your BF has planned.”

“Remind your ultra-entitled sister that thousands of other people also go to this same island weekly… does she expect them all to stop for her?” – Algebralovr

“NTA- WTF how did you go to a place tons of people go every day, going to ruin the specialness?!?!?!”

“Your sister is an AH!! Go on your trip!!! Have an amazing time!!!”

“And if you get to cut out of what is guaranteed to be a circus wedding, I would consider that a win.
Your sister’s audacity is breathtaking”
– Efficient-Cupcake247

“NTA. If she can’t enjoy her honeymoon destination because someone else has been there before, that’s reeeeeeally going to limit her options.” – magstar222


“Don’t change the destination. You’re not taking anything away from your sister. If you give in and change, she’ll take that as a license to keep demanding.” – KaraFromKrypton

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! OMG, I’m gasping for air. Your sister is being so ludicrous.”

“Does she even think she is mildly a bridezilla? Because she’s right up there fighting for the top spot. Your mother should be talking to HER about being reasonable, not you.”

“Your boyfriend did a very nice thing. Please don’t let it spoil your vacation.”

“Edit: NTA” – GreatWhite012

NTA, Your sister is grossly entitled, and it sounds like almost everyone has enabled it. She doesn’t want you to physically visit or enjoy a place because she might honeymoon there?”

“If they haven’t booked, it’s still a might. She’ll in no way be the first to honeymoon on the island unless it popped out of the ocean yesterday.”

“Please go on your anniversary vacation with your boyfriend and get cut from her wedding. Bridezillas don’t tend to mellow out as the wedding date approaches.”

“Best of luck to the groom. Gift her something you used already or prepaid therapy.” – Used2BLurker

“NTA. She can’t have dibs on a place that she hasn’t even booked.” – MedievalHag


“She doesn’t get to own a destination. She can’t claim a place as hers to visit first.”

“She is entitled.” – Lex1982

“NTA. Your sister does not have exclusive rights to that vacation spot. You going there first in no way will ruin it for her.”

“She’s being incredibly entitled. Let her uninvite you from the wedding.”

“Also, your boyfriend should not change your plans. Your parents are also being ridiculous by telling you to not go to that location.” – IceWarm1980

“Wow, NTA and your sister is being completely unreasonable. Is she like this with other things or just her wedding? Either way, she does not have ownership over an entire island. This is…wild.” – Ok-Original9712

“NTA – and the next time your sister threatens to remove you from the wedding, simply say ’okay.’”

“When your parents ask you to change to keep the peace, tell the sure as long as THEY pay for ALL of the changes, so instead of going for a weeks vacation, go for a month, and instead of whichever tropical island, pick one that is much for expensive.”

“When they say no (and they will), say then you are going on this trip and to shut up about it.” – Life-Wealth-3399

“NTA. Your sister is acting like a brat. Go on your vacation and keep the BF.”

“Your sister is in no way ready for the adult responsibility of marriage until she realizes she doesn’t own everything and she doesn’t always get her way.”

“Your parents sound conflict-averse and likely created this monster by always giving her her way growing up. That sh*t stops NOW.”

“If she tosses you from her wedding, so what? You will have dodged an entire day dedicated to her grandiose sense of self-importance. It’s not a big loss, in my opinion.” – vikingthundergoddess

“NTA, your sister is TA, and is a bridezilla. If you let her force you into changing your vacation plans now, what is to stop her from trying to force you to change future ones if you are going somewhere she wants to go to or are going somewhere she doesn’t like and doesn’t think you should go?”

“Your life choices are not under her control. Set this boundary now and stay with it. You will thank yourself later.”

“Your parents are also TA for enabling your sister and expecting you to let her dictate your and your boyfriend’s plans. Shame on them. I am curious though, is she always like this?” – Visual_Barnacle_2417

Hopefully, the OP and her boyfriend are sipping cocktails on the forbidden beach right now.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)