Bridesmaids try doing their best to ensure the bride’s special day goes smoothly.
The bride is typically entitled to making reasonable requests to accommodate for the wedding of her dreams.
But, how far can she go before her demands creep over into bridezilla territory?
This is something Redditor throwawaydress000, a 25-year-old bridesmaid, is grappling with.
After the Redditor—along with three other bridesmaids—were given specific instructions about their matching dresses for the wedding, she had a conversation with the bride about it.
When it didn’t end well, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for not throwing away a dress.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (25F) best friends wedding was this past weekend. There were 4 bridesmaids in total (including me).”
“We all got the same matching dresses, costing about $220 each. Super pretty, comfortable, and definitely something you could where to another event or just a night out.”
“This morning me and the other 3 bridesmaids got a group text from the bride saying she expected us to not wear the dresses we wore to the wedding anywhere else and to get rid of them because they were only for her special occasion.”
“I replied saying I wouldn’t be tossing out a dress I spent that much money on and now she won’t talk to me. AITA?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA, but she is. This is YOUR dress, bought with YOUR money and is yours to do with what you please.” – Summerh8r
“Then she should buy them from you, full cost. Then she can dispose of them how she pleases. Until then, it’s yours.” – alwaystasks
“So I can see the point to this argument, but can we please move away from our single use, disposable culture? So much time, energy, resources go into making a dress and then just to throw it away after one use is a huge waste!”
“(Because let’s be real, she wouldn’t donate them since someone else would wear her idea).” – RinViisi
“NTA. Most people try to get a bridesmaid dress they can wear again…..” – bissastar
“Both of my bridesmaids told me years later they still have the bridesmaid dress I picked out for them and it’s their go-to stand-by dress.”
“They’ve worn it to other peoples weddings as a guest, to business functions, on dates, and once as part of a Halloween costume (Holly Golightly). It made me really happy that I didn’t totally waste their money simply to be part of my event.” – SeattleTrashPanda
“Who in their right mind thinks they can make someone spend over 200 bucks on an outfit then tell them to get rid of it after the event because they don’t want it be associated with anything else? that pure insanity.” – L3GI0N__1183
“If the bride herself paid for the bridesmaids’ dresses, it would be a somewhat reasonable ask, but asking your bridesmaids (who are supposed to be your closest friends) to eat a $220 loss because you can’t handle the fact that your wedding isn’t going to be the only special night out for the rest of all time is an insane ask.” – SplendidMrDuck
“NTA. I’ve never heard of a bride requesting her bridesmaids do this. You guys paid for the dresses, so why does it matter to her what you end up doing with them?”
“If your friend is honestly refusing to speak to you over something so petty, then is she really that much of a friend?? Sorry you wasted your time and money being a bridesmaid to a bridezilla.” – desert_red_head
“NTA. It’s your dress, do with it as you please. Lol people get psycho over their weddings. If only they gave as much thought to the rest of their lives.” – rajfijfiel
“NTA I used to plan weddings & I am so very sick of the whole ‘but I wanna act rude and entitled because it’s my special daaaay’ BS.”
“It’s a wedding; meant to celebrate a loving union & solemn commitment with friends, family & community. It’s a lovely dress you bought to support her in doing that.”
“So, you did what you were supposed to (I assume). You paid for a dress that she liked (and probably other stuff) and spent the day supporting her and bringing joy to the celebration.”
“What a strange exercise weddings have become in selfishness.” – kassandra_veritas
“NTA. You guys paid for the dresses, so why does it matter to her what you end up doing with them? If your friend is honestly refusing to speak to you over something so petty, then is she really that much of a friend.” – Both_Marsupial5161
“NTA. You shouldn’t wear it to an event before her wedding out of respect and the possibility of it getting damaged beyond repair without being able to replace it.”
“But after her wedding? It’s your dress that you put down a pretty penny for. If you want to wear it to go mud wrestling in, you should.”
“Hopefully this is a temporary bridal bubble and not her usual personality.”
“She would have a better leg to stand on if the wedding got canceled and she didn’t want to see pictures of you on social media wearing it. That would be a tiny bit more understandable.” – Llyndreth
“NTA As someone who has a ton of bridesmaids dresses that will never see the light of day (bubble gum pink anyone?), if I had a pretty one and the bride was being an AH about it, I’d wear it everywhere and insta that thing.”
“Pumping gas? Beautiful dress. Target run? Gonna look fine as hell. Sunday brunch? Gonna look fancy. I’d get the other bridesmaids together and have a photo day roller skating just to spite her. Then I’d have it made into a canvas and put it over my fireplace.” – FlanPatient
Overall, Redditors thought the bride’s demand was excessive and that throwing the dresses they bought for themselves away after one use was wasteful.
They also agreed that a person who gives someone the silent treatment over not getting their way is not worthy of keeping a friendship with.