Weddings are meant to be a celebration.
So why is it that so much drama always tends to unfold?
One word… family.
All that family in one room is not always easy.
Especially when people feel certain people are being difficult for selfish reasons.
Case in point…
Redditor throwaway-plusone wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for bringing my baby to the hotel resort my brother was getting married in?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My brother was getting married, and it was a child-free wedding per future S[ister[ I[n[ L[aw]’s request.”
“The wedding was out of state, so my husband and I were going to make it into a three-day weekend.”
“We had a sitter lined up months ago.”
“The day before we were set to leave, she had to cancel for a family emergency.”
“We tried to find a last-minute sitter that we trusted and could also do just overnight but came up empty.”
“I tried calling and texting my brother about the situation but couldn’t get hold of him.”
“We were both in the wedding party, and I didn’t want to leave my brother and his soon-to-be-wife in a bind.”
“So I called my mother after that since I knew she was with them.”
“I explained the situation, and she said she’d call me back after talking to him.”
“Four hours pass, and we didn’t hear back.”
“We had to make a decision, and since we are currently sharing one vehicle, couldn’t really leave my husband and kid without a vehicle, and had put a lot of money already into the wedding and trip, we just took our baby with us.”
“We got there later than we originally planned and just went to our room.”
“The next afternoon was the wedding, and my husband and I planned to swap time out- I’d go the ceremony and part of the reception while he stayed with the baby, and he could attend the second half of the reception while I stayed with the baby.”
“When the ceremony was over, and we were heading inside to the reception, my husband had the baby inside in her stroller.”
“I joined my husband and went to say hello to some family members and went with him to congratulate my brother and new SIL.”
“Husband said his hellos and congrats, then went back to our room with our child.”
“I left the reception area a few times to bring my husband some small plates of food, so he didn’t have to wait for his turn to eat.”
“On one of my trips back, my brother spoke with me about it being a child-free wedding, and his wife was upset that my husband had the baby in the lobby and that I kept leaving the reception.”
“I told him they can’t be too upset because we didn’t bring the baby into the wedding area or the reception.”
“The rest of the time I was at the reception, I kept getting comments from who I’m guessing were SIL’s family and her bridesmaids about how I was trying to steal her thunder by having my baby there.”
“SIL kept asking why I didn’t just leave them at home and would not accept my reason for not doing so.”
“It’s been a sore spot for my family and her all weekend.”
“The wedding ceremony itself was outside in a courtyard. It was not in a closed-off area.”
“We had to go through the lobby area to get to the reception hall.”
“My husband was in the lobby walking with the baby and getting coffee from the hotel shop.”
“Am I an A-hole for bringing the baby with us?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Short of abandoning your child, WTF else were you supposed to do?!?!?” ~ StAlvis
“Would have loved to hear SIL’s recommendation.”
“Likely requiring duct tape. NTA.” ~ Significant-Fly-8170
“I wonder if SIL thinks a baby is like a cat that you can leave a few bowls of food out and a litter box, and it’ll be fine.”
“But for real, NTA.”
“OP and husband did the best they could in a sh*t situation to honor their obligations, and ya know, not abandon their child.” ~ missmeowwww
“NTA. This.”
“SIL and B[rother] I[n] L[aw] do not get to dictate whether or not the baby is in the resort.”
“The baby was not at the wedding.”
“The baby was not at the reception.”
“Therefore, it was, in fact, a child-free wedding.”
“Your BIL and SIL do not get to dictate how or ever whether your child can be physically present in the resort facility where the wedding is held.”
“You did not steal your SIL’s thunder. “
“The child’s mere presence at the resort and even (gasp) in the lobby – is not stealing SIL’s thunder.”
“You guys were not parading the baby around holding your child up like the Lion King saying, ‘Behold – our progeny is here!'”
“‘Stop and stare at our child.'”
“Your child was in a stroller as your husband went through the lobby.”
“OP, I’m sorry your brother married this drama queen.”
“People like her have to spin up drama if there isn’t any, so they have something to complain about.” ~ sometimesblessed
“Between bride’s bridesmaids stirring the pot and bride choosing to go ballistic… if it wasn’t this, it would have been something else that you didn’t do.”
“You messaged both of them and your mother – not one single adult could pick a plan and get back to OP!?”
“I know it’s their wedding weekend, but we all K-N-OW they looked at their phones and chose not to respond.”
“OP, I’m on a bit of a low contact trend – because it makes my life better and easier.”
“No Contact until you’re forced by Easter, Thanksgiving or Xmas.”
“Even then, pleasantries and nothing else.”
“I wish I had been a better defender of myself a lot sooner.”
“You won’t miss anything except the drama they stir when you get pregnant next, and it inconveniences them or them getting attention.”
“I can say with 100% certainty your kids WILL NOT miss having these people as Uncle and Aunt and cousins… oh gawd, run!” ~ No_Appointment_7232
“I can’t imagine handling the situation any better than she did.”
“OP, you were amazing and gracious, and I’m so sorry that you are going to have so many future holidays and get-togethers with your SIL.”
“Prayers up for you. NTA.” ~ No_Education_4771
“NTA. She and her husband did everything they could to accommodate the brother and his bridezilla.”
“The bride acted like the baby was in the front row of the ceremony crying their eyes out.”
“To be annoyed that they were in the lobby, it’s ridiculous.”
“And being jealous of a baby.”
“And I love that the bride thinks finding child care last minute when most child care options are probably at her wedding.”
“My goodness, family functions will be interesting with this SIL.” ~ Mmoct
“Babies should be self-sufficient after 3-6 weeks and require minimal care.”
“After 12 weeks, your baby should be preparing twelve-course tasting menus for his/her three Michelin-starred restaurants, and handling all of the household budgeting and maintenance.”
“Or, at least, that’s what must happen on SIL’s home planet since here on earth, a baby needs a caregiver.” ~ b33r_engineer
“NTA, excited to hear what magical solutions everyone had on offer.”
“You were in the wedding party; you had a solid plan for everything, and you showed up and did an amazing job under those circumstances.” ~ whatsmypassword73
OP came back with a response…
“The magical solutions were…”
“1) Leave my husband without a car while he was home with our baby…”
“2) Leave our child with a babysitter we didn’t know for more than one night…”
“3) My husband languished in the hotel room for hours without eating before he could go downstairs to the reception (hell to the no on room service prices) and…”
“4) Whoever was watching the baby just stay in the room.”
Reddit continued…
“You forgot the solution where someone actually got back to you in a timely manner about you losing your sitter. NTA.” ~ Teevell
“Or even not attending the wedding at all!”
“I admit I see a lot of posts in AITA about people who think that child-free rules at events don’t apply to them.”
“Not the case here.”
“You did the best you could do with a tough situation that, by all accounts, worked.”
“Was it optimal?”
“Maybe not, but did they not realize that this was the only way even to have you there?”
“NTA. In the slightest.” ~ Muhuahahaha
“NTA, but I will say, I personally would have enjoyed option 3.”
“I would have ordered some takeout beforehand and languished the hell out of that room.”
“Hanging out in the lobby with a baby sounds awful.”
“But again, that’s just a personal preference based on my own interests, not a judgment on anything you or your husband should have done instead.” ~ 3YearsinJapan
OP finished with some final thoughts.
“Not attending at all wasn’t completely on the table- we had to buy our dress and suit.”
“Bought tickets to a show and had a paid reservation.”
“Even if we had skipped the wedding, we still would’ve been in the hotel due to the rest of the money we had tied up in what was meant to be an extended weekend.”
“At least we learned she reaaalllyyy loves yakisoba… lol.”
OP, Reddit is with you.
Emergencies happen, and parents have to learn how to deal and adapt.
And does a baby really steal a bride’s thunder?
Hopefully, this doesn’t get out of control with the family.
Good luck.