When family members find themselves in problematic, even dire, situations, it’s second nature to help them out.
But no one should expect help, particularly when it comes to money.
However, as much as we want to help out family members who need it, it is still important for us to look out for ourselves, which might result in us giving these family members much less than they might expect.
Redditor Walkingtosun was moving out of her house, and after learning her aunt and uncle had fallen on hard times and needed a place to live, she was happy to sell it to them.
Her aunt and uncle were anything but happy, however, when the original poster (OP) shared the price she was selling for.
Not only did her aunt and uncle find her greedy for selling at such a high price, but they even managed to put almost her entire family against her, including her own father.
Wondering if she was being. greedy and insensitive, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not selling my house to my aunt and uncle for the price I bought it?”
The OP shared why she was only willing to budge so far on the price when it came to selling her house to her aunt and uncle.
“I (31 F[emale]) bought a home in 2020 for $79,000.”
“It was sold to me by an old school teacher who sold to me over another couple that was offering $99k.”
“The teacher gave me a deal as I couldn’t afford more at the time.”
“I put a lot of work into the house, probably around 10k.”
“Fast forward to the summer of 2022.”
“My uncle had liver disease, transplant, and had to stop working.”
“They made a lot of poor financial decisions and ultimately found themselves in a ton of debt.”
“They couldn’t afford their mortgage, and my grandparents declined to move in with them and sell their house.”
“It would’ve been beneficial for them, as they are elderly, and my entire family assists them with food, transportation, and doctors appointments.”
“No one in my family was upset with them.”
“I offered my aunt and uncle to move in my house, as my fiancé and I were building a new house, and I was basically living with him and never at the house.”
“They were thankful.”
I was renting to them for 800/month but wanted to sell as I couldn’t change my address to the new house. I shared they would get priority.
“I got a realtor who appraised the house at 110k.”
“I was shocked but excited as I have student debt and will have two stepkids.”
“When I told my aunt and uncle, they were furious.”
‘I told them I would go down to 105k, but this was an investment. 30k is a huge difference.”
‘Basically, my family is very angry at me.”
“My father is no longer paying for the wedding, and I regularly get texts saying I’m greedy and basically out of the family. It’s gotten so ugly.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for selling her house to her aunt and uncle at a higher price than what she paid for it.
Everyone agreed that it was very unreasonable for the OP’s aunt and uncle to expect her to sell her house for so much less than the asking price, as well as her family for reacting in such an immature manner.
“You paid $79k in 2020.”
“Adjusting for inflation, that’s now roughly $92k.”
“Add in the $10k of work you’ve done (which you’re probably undervaluing), and you’re really close to the $105k you’re offering.”
“Will this argument go over with your relatives?”
“Probably not, but it’s a sound economic analysis.”
“NTA.”- stannenb
“This is why you don’t over-share information with people.”
“It’s no one’s business what you paid for it or why you got a discount.”
“They can look up on Zillow what it sold for, but you can easily say, ‘Yeah, it had [vague] issues that I repaired’ or other bullsh*t.”
“NTA for asking market value, YTA to yourself for oversharing with friends and family.”-KronkLaSworda
“NTA.”
“I have low tolerance for people who live beyond their means then want to play the ‘but we’re family’ card to guilt family to basically pay for them living beyond their means.”
“It sounds like You are financially sound not only because your teacher cut you a break but because you have made good choices.”
“They’re not financially sound because they made bad choices.”
“You shouldn’t have to pay for their bad choices.”
“The family members that are mad at you..ask them what THEY have sacrificed to help your aunt and uncle.”
“That ought to shut them up.”- _Nana_111
“NTA.”
“They can’t get a free or drastically reduced house just because they are family.”
“If your family is so keen on them having a free home, maybe they should pitch in to buy the house for them.”- Lazuli_Rose
“NTA, you made a big investment in the property, and not only costs to reno it but also your time and energy.”
“Your family is TA here if they’re calling you greedy for trying to recoup your investment and giving your family first option for it.”- heavyhomo
“NTA do not go down to 105K!”
“In fact, it’s a seller’s market… someone may even pay you more than 110K for it if you ever sell up – let people outbid each other and get more if there is interest.”
“It’s insane not to expect a house to appreciate – that’s why you buy houses as an investment and also inflation 100 dollars in 2020 buys less than it does today.”
“Just look on online since 2020 the dollar has appreciated by 15%, and the cumulative price change is a drop 17.21%.”
“So something worth 100 dollars in 2020, to buy it today you would have to pay 117.2 dollars.”
“Tell your dad it’s fine if he doesn’t pay for your wedding – but he will be uninvited and not because he won’t pay that’s on him, but his anger and vitriol and not wanting the best for you.”
“No father would want their kid to lose out on that profit.”
“It’s fine anyone with an opinion cant be part of your life, and they can dedicate their money and time to your aunt and uncle themselves.”- Big__Bang
The OP later returned with a post from her cousin, the child of the offending aunt and uncle, clarifying some aspects of the situation.
“If anyone’s interested, the aunt and uncle are my mother and father.”
“Today, they settled at 97,500.”
“No fees.”
“The family likes to use pressure and manipulation to get other people do to what they want.”
“My dad became sick with liver disease.”
“He drank regardless and pretended it doesn’t exist.”
“Ignoring all his children’s perspectives and advice, I’m a 32 psychologist tried to help on that end.”
“He became sick enough and was asked to leave his job with a year of severance.”
“His health continued to decline, and he received the transplant.”
“A lot of poor financial decisions, and they are living above their means.”
“My mom refuses to get job and give up her volunteer position (she never worked in 40 years).”
“My dad can return to work but can’t cope with the trauma of the near-death experiences and basically turns to drinking.”
“Meanwhile, my brother has given them $60k during a two-year span.”
“They don’t actually address the underlying issues and are asking everyone around to clean up their mess.”
“The messages were so destructive.”
“Saying they’ll never speak to my cousin again, no one will ever forget, she’s greedy and nasty, ‘what about the vacations they took you on as a child?'”
“Saying this happens to her and her future kids.”
“It’s so mean-spirited and it has scared my cousin and hurt her that everyone (sans me or brother) was so easy to write her off.”
“My mother and father see nothing wrong with their behavior and have not even said thank you to [the OP] or even apologized.”
“They’re acting like everything is fine and only because they got their way.”
The story of the OP’s aunt and uncle is a sad one, to say the least.
But it also now seems clear that they seem to rely on the generosity of others to get back on their feet, hence why they expected the OP to do them a favor.
One hopes that they will at least show the OP the appreciation she deserves for still selling to them at a considerably reduced price, even after the trouble they caused her.