There are very few people who don’t have a family member whom they constantly worry will embarrass them in public or with friends.
This isn’t necessarily to say that these people don’t love this family member.
Rather, they are worried that their behavior will be met with confusion by those who don’t know them well.
Redditor Different_Maybe_7047 had grown increasingly frustrated by a habit developed by her sister.
So much so that the original poster (OP) even asked her sister point blank not to partake in this egregious habit on the night of the engagement party.
Unfortunately, the OP’s sister did not honor this request, resulting in the OP deciding that there was only one thing to do.
Worried she might have been too harsh, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for kicking my sister out of my engagement dinner because she wouldn’t stop taking photos and made a scene?”
The OP explained how following her sister’s unruly behavior at her rehearsal dinner, she felt she was left with no other choice.
“I’m blessed to be marrying the love of my life.”
“My engagement party was booked at an upscale restaurant, and prior to the day, I sat my sister down and told her that I wanted the party to be focused on the wedding and to please not go above and beyond to take photos for her social media page.”
“I might get flack for this part, but my sister is trying really hard to become famous online.”
“I’ve never said anything to her because she’s an adult, and this is her life, but for my wedding, I really didn’t want her to pull any of her antics.”
“Because she doesn’t just take a few photos to post.”
“She’s the embarrassing (IMO) caricature of the perpetually online influencer.”
“She’ll order two dishes at a restaurant: one to take photos of because it’s prettier, and the second to actually eat.”
“She’s stopped traffic before to take outfit photos in the street.”
“She’s also staged ‘fake’ things to post online (one time she started crying in a Starbucks and made a fake story up about how the barista bullied her).”
“I want to make it clear that I did not bar my sister from taking photos.”
“I just didn’t want her doing something that would embarrass me.”
“Everything was ok until she literally stood on top of her chair to take a top-down photo of her meal.”
“Everyone was staring and in shock, and a waiter had to come and ask her to sit down.”
“She refused to, and started to loudly argue with the waiter, saying that she was the sister of the bride, and then started to sob that she was getting bullied loudly.”
“I was mortified and immediately had the groomsmen escort her out of the room.”
“She’s since blasted me on social media, calling me an AH for not handling the situation with more grace and empathy.”
“She says that I could have given her a warning instead of kicking her immediately out.”
“I was kind of panicking, so I wonder if I could have handled it better.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for kicking her sister out of her engagement party.
Everyone agreed that the OP had every right to kick her sister out after she ignored her one request, not to mention making a scene.
“You did give her a warning.”
“You did sit her down and told her what exactly she isn’t supposed to do.”
“And she did that anyway.”
“So this is not on you.”
“If a waiter had to come over and ask her to sit down, it is very evident that she was, in fact, creating a scene.”
“People who create scenes and upstage special events get kicked out.”
“That’s the rule.”
“I don’t see how much more gracefully you could have handled this situation.”
“This is your engagement party.”
“It should not be and is not a content source for Miss Influencer.”- HannahPoppyMommy
“She’s an attention addict and the sort that always makes herself out to be the victim when she knows she was the one who effed up.”
“$20 says she finds a way to pull this type of sh*t at your wedding if she attends.”- SolitaryTeaParty
“The waiter asking her to sit down was her warning.”
“Getting kicked out was a natural consequence.”
“I mean, if she had been standing on a chair to get the perfect pic of the happy couple for you, maybe I’d give her a pass.”
“But fighting over a pic of her food and drawing attention away from the occasion?”
“That’s rude.”- Hopeful_Mycologist_9
“I just read this, and I’m already sick of your sister.”
“You should have given her a warning?”
“WTF does she think what you told her ahead of time was?”
“She made herself a spectacle for no reason, embarrassed you, and decided basic restaurant etiquette didn’t apply to her.”
“I’m not sure really sure why a grown woman needs the warning to please not stand on her chair?”
“And plus she caused a scene and argued like a spoiled baby when the waiter tried to ask her nicely to stop.”- These_Mycologist132
“She’s gonna ruin your wedding.”
“Thought on this some more… you’ll feel bad and beg her to behave like a human.”
“She will promise she will.”
“And she will go on to show her complete a** at your wedding.”- Wash_Me_Down
“She got her warning when you asked her to control herself like an adult.”
“There’s no reason she couldn’t go a dinner without posting.”- Guilty-Paramedic-572
“I am wondering if your sister can’t even behave for an engagement dinner, how bad will the actual wedding be?”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have instantly kicked her out, but she ignored your request, so she brought this upon herself.”- Ornery_Pen4842
“Personal opinion here, but I would suggest you distance yourself from your sister to save yourself from the 2nd hand embarrassment.”
“I’m just a random internet person, but the 2nd hand cringe I’d feel for being related to someone who acts this way would be a bit much for an introvert like me to handle.”
“She acted out of line for being asked a simple request to not stand on a chair. She disregarded her ‘warning.'”- Good_From_70
“Her warning came when you initially sat her down and told her what you expected.”
“She is the one wanting all the attention regardless of if she makes sh*t up or not.”
“Make sure you have an ‘unplugged’ wedding, and if her phone comes out, have her removed.”-AKlife420
“And I suggest that if she attends your wedding, it’s under the condition that she gives up any device with a camera & access to social media to an agreed-upon third party for the duration of the event.”
“If she screams about bullying for being asked to stop acting out in public, I wouldn’t put it past her to make a scene on purpose the day of your nuptials.”- Hoseoksnshoes
“It sounds to me that you did exactly the right thing, gracefully and emphatically threw her out.”-DueMap4190
“This was a preview of how your wedding is going to go.”
“You may want to uninvite her now so you don’t have to kick her out during the ceremony.”-smart_farts_1077
“Your sister needs to get a grip and stop acting like the world is her red sea and she is Moses!”
“If she keeps up her current obsession, she will have no family or friends left in short order!”- Comfortable-Sea-2454
“She sounds insufferable.”
“You warned her.”
“You even took the time to sit her down and explain.”- EvolvingWren
“NTA, What kind of warning were you supposed to give her?”
“How were you supposed to know that she was going to go off the deep end and do what she did?”
“She embarrassed herself.”
“If one is going to act like a child, then one gets treated like a child.”
“That was your sister.”- KylieJadaHunter
“Something tells me she is unbothered by the drama she started.”- ferramenta11
“Your sister sounds exhausting.”
“I would escalate and say she does not take pictures at all (at least on her phone) to future events since her judgment about what is ‘above and beyond’ is clearly lacking.”- happy-wacko-cake
It would have been one thing for the OP’s sister to have merely been a bit excessive in taking pictures during the party.
But standing on a chair at any restaurant is poor form, regardless of the occasion, or even the restaurant for that matter.
The OP’s sister should find herself extremely lucky if this didn’t cost her a spot on the guest list for the OP’s wedding.