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Bride Furious After Her Matron Of Honor Insists On Holding Her Newborn During The Ceremony

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Your wedding is typically one of the most significant days of your life. The soon to be wed spend a lot of time and money making sure their big day is perfect.

How would you feel if someone close to you refused to respect your wishes as part of the wedding party?

What if they made threats of poor behavior? Many would feel hurt and angry.

One bride-to-be found herself at wit’s end with her matron of honor and turned to the “Am The Asshole” (AITA) subReddit for opinions on her sister’s behavior.

Redditor Pasta_on_my_laptop asked:

AITA for not letting my matron of honor hold her baby during my wedding ceremony?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (21) am getting married at the end of July 2021. My sister (29) is my matron of honor and she’s currently pregnant with her fourth child.”

“Her due date is a few weeks before my wedding and I could not be more excited to meet my new nephew. However, she has been making some comments that are a bit worrying to me.”

“She has repeatedly told me that she is going to hold her new baby as she walks down the aisle, regardless of my thoughts (despite the fact that her husband will be at the wedding and able to hold the baby).”

”She plans to hold her baby during the ceremony and even feed him if she needs to. This is not a long Catholic wedding ceremony.”

“Just a regular ol’ cutesy outdoor wedding. Probably 20 minutes long.”

”I told her she should feel welcome to have her new little baby with her during the day while we are getting ready, but when it comes to walking down the aisle, I would not like her to be holding the baby. The baby could cry, poop, need to eat, etc… etc….”

”She has insisted that she will be holding her baby during the wedding—otherwise she will not be in the wedding. In addition to the baby-holding dilemma, she has jokingly told me that she will call me a bad aunt in her wedding speech.”

“Or she will get her other kids to ‘object’ in the middle of my wedding. I think she is trying to be funny, but all of these comments are frustrating and hurting my feelings.”

“AITA for telling my sister she can’t hold her baby during my wedding?”

Redditors use one of four acronyms for judgement.  

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided this OP was NTA.

NTA, NTA, NTA, did I mention NTA? It’s not her ‘show off my baby day’ it’s your wedding day, YOUR wedding day.”

“She set the ultimatum, crazy since we all know ultimatums rarely work out in favor of the issuer, so just say okay I accept yor refusal and find a new maid or matron of honor.”

”She won’t be asked to make a speech since she’s no longer in the wedding party. If you think she’s being serious about the kid objections then I’d disinvite her completely.”~captaininderpanties

NTA. Tell her you’re glad she’s willing to bow out if her conditions aren’t met and that they won’t be.”

“It’s your wedding, not her welcome-our-new-baby party. She’s being unreasonable and selfish.”

”I suspect she has a lot of trouble letting you have the spotlight in general and is desperately searching for ways to make it all about her and her family.”

“I’m serious, please think about whether you want to uninvite her yourself even when she (pretends to) back down.”~ nicolasbaege

NTA ‘I just wanted to touch base with you about the baby. I need to know if you’re going to step sown as maid of honor so I don’t have to find a different person last minute’.”

“‘I know you want to carry the baby down the aiale, but I’m not comfortable with that at my wedding but I totally understand if you want to step down, I know you have a lot on your plate as it is’.”

“Have the person performing the ceremony skip the ‘does anyone object’—it’s not necessary. Make sure the mic is guarded during speeches.”~magjoy72 

NTA. If her husband is there, he can hold the baby for 20 minutes. It’s not even her first kid.”

“By saying that she would have her kids object to your marriage (please let’s hope she is actually joking), it sounds like she really doesn’t care about your wedding being a special day for you.”

You should try sitting her down again and tell her how you feel about her jokes and explain why it would mean a lot for her to not carry her baby down the aisle.”

“If she can’t meet your reasonable expectations, you might want to consider kicking her out of your wedding party/not letting her make a speech.”~anonymouse277

Yup. It sounds like she’s dead set on whipping her boob out in front of everyone and then admonishing anyone who gets offended because she absolutely HAS to nourish her child in the middle of her sister’s vows while all her friends and family are watching.”

“She 100% wants to makes this event all about her and her baby.”

NTA. Kick her out of your wedding party and tell the officiant that you won’t be asking for objections.”

“Then make it clear to your sister that if she wants to start some sh*t to gain attention you’ll ask her to leave and will cut off contact with her.”~Heart_and_Vine

NTA you may have to drop her from the wedding party if she’s not willing to respect YOUR day. In fact, her entire family may find themselves off the guest list with her threats.”

“This isn’t a party for her kids, it’s a party for you and she needs to get over herself. She is so self centered.”~CopsaLau

NTA. Her behavior is very weird. If I were you, I’d take a tact of sympathetic, nice ‘Oh I totally understand if you need to just be with the guests instead of in the ceremony because you need to hold and feed your baby’ like its obvious that of course she can’t hold the baby while walking down the aisle.”

When she says things about ‘jokingly’ calling you a bad aunt or having her children object, I would just react with a total stone face that shows this is not even a little bit funny“~yourlittlebirdie

Hopefully the sister will see this bride’s perspective before the big day.

Written by Heidi Dockery

Heidi Dockery is a Maine artist & nature enthusiast with an affinity for libraries. She studies Criminal Justice with a special focus on psychology & sociology at the University of Maine. When not studying, painting, or re-reading the works of Terry Pratchett, she volunteers & enjoys various activities most would label nerdy.