There are several things which people find synonymous with weddings.
White gowns, tuxedos, cake, dancing, champagne, or at the very least, drinking.
Indeed, for many wildly different reasons, some people simply can’t make it through a wedding without at least one drink.
The sister of Redditor Delicious-Juice-2385 was looking forward to sharing a drink with her on her wedding day.
However, a recent incident in the original poster (OP)’s life meant that getting to enjoy a drink at her sister’s wedding was out of the cards.
Expecting her sister to be understanding, the OP was instead surprised to find her anything but, even going so far as to demand she enjoy at least one drink at her wedding.
Wondering if she had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my sister I won’t drink at her wedding?”
The OP explained why she had to stick to water and soda at her sister’s wedding, and why her sister was unwilling to tolerate this decision.
“I (20 F[emale]) am the maid of honor in my sister’s (32 F) wedding in a few months.”
“My reputation is known as being fun and upbeat and a little wild, and upholding that reputation landed me a MIP/MIC earlier this year, and since it was my first run-in with the law, it scared the sh*t out of me.”
“I turned my life around in a matter of a week or two.”
“Got a good job (for a college student), picked up on my studies, prioritized myself, quit going out, and ditched all the people who only hung around me because of my in’s and popularity at bars/parties.”
“Doing this has helped a lot of my depression IMMENSELY, because I know the people I hold close care about me for me, not for any other benefits.”
“My sister is already a little mad at me, because I got my MIP right before her bachelorette and I refused to use a fake ID to get into the 21+ events she had planned.”
“She told me ‘well, we’ll make an exception for the wedding’.”
“‘My best dance partner can’t be sober’.”
“I recently got the terms of my probation/diversion, of which i sign tomorrow, and I will be subject to provide a urine/blood/breath sample at any point during my probationary period.”
“It’s 6 months of behaving and then it’s off my record permanently, so I don’t want to risk anything that could land me in more trouble.”
“Even if it’s random 2x a month, I could still test positive if I were to be tested the week after her wedding.”
“I broke this news to her, and explained that I wouldn’t be able to drink, and she was visibly hurt.”
“I don’t know why drinking is such a huge deal.”
“She said that it’s just one night, and I can tell my future PO that I’ll be out of town and cannot be tested.”
“I told her I don’t think it works that way.”
“The other bridesmaids have told me I hurt her feelings and are saying I can sacrifice one night since it’ll be my sisters only (hopefully) wedding.”
“My dad is on my side, my mom on the bridesmaids.”
“I would not say myself or anyone in my family has/has had an alcohol problem other than my dad.”
“I used alcohol 2x a week at most for binge-drinking episodes Friday and Saturday nights, and got caught after ‘pregaming’ at home for the bars and holding my friends drink while she used the bathroom.”
“I blew a .09, had rides homes, and only was planning on going out since my friends were leaving for graduate school the next week.”
“I just would like to put in my 6 months of good behavior and have this whole situation be over with, but I don’t want to be a damper at my sisters wedding, so AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No a**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for refusing to drink at her sister’s wedding.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s sister and mother were being a terrible influence on her by convincing her to ignore her sobriety, and applauded the OP for taking responsibility and turning her life around.
“Do not compromise here.”
“Your sister is extremely wrong.”
“You’ll have a fine time being sober.”
“Do not ruin your future.”- Ok_Register3005
“WTF is wrong with your mother and sister?”
“Do you live with a family of alcoholics?”
“Is your sister so insecure and needy that she can’t enjoy her own wedding unless her underage sister is drunk with her?”
“I think the drinking age of 21 in the US is stupid, but that doesn’t change the law or the consequences or your situation.”
“Why is your family willing to risk your entire future for 1 night?”
“Why are people trying to actively pressure you into drinking?”
“Especially your sister, it’s weird, no one likes being pressured to drink when you have a valid reason.”
“Your sister is so wrong and I honestly do not understand why she’s so hurt if you’re not going to drink?”
“Everything will still be enjoyable either way so what the hell is the problem?”- princessvenus04
“You can refuse to drink at her wedding, you didn’t sign for this as a MOH.”
“I imagine that wasn’t the only reason she chose you in the first place?”
“So she can do without you drinking.”
“Don’t take unnecessary risks for a wedding.”
“You are NTA, your sister, the bridesmaids, and your mother, are the a**holes.”
“No-one needs alcohol to have fun.”
“I worked (67 M[ale]) 35 years in retail liquor, ask me what I have seen.”
“Stay 100%+ sober and then never start again.”- My_igloo_is_melting
“It is more important that you maintain your sobriety than that you drink at your sister’s wedding.”
“What kind of person is she that her wedding will be ruined if you don’t drink or get drunk?”
“Doesn’t reflect well on the bride.”
“A word of warning: be VERY careful at wedding events.”
“I would guess your sister and her bridesmaids might try to slip something into your drink.”
“Maybe best to bring your own bottles of water that you open and maybe someone to watch them when you can’t.”- Ducky818
“Refuse to drink, spend the night with any non-alcohol beverage you want.”
“Go with seltzer with lemon or lime and it’ll look like a ‘drink’ to others.”
“If you really want to make sure there’s no tricks introduce yourself to the bartenders, tell the you are underage and both will not and cannot drink no matter what stories the bridal party and other guests tell them.”
“That way nobody can go to them and say something like ‘She’ll ask for a cola but make it with rum’ wink, wink.”
“And only take drinks from them not anyone else so the other bridesmaids, bride etc can’t try to slip you alcohol.”
“You already figured out you don’t need alcohol to have a good time, your Sister and especially your Mother are being ridiculous and don’t seem to care about your future.”
“Stick to your plan and what you’ve already been doing!!”- AliceReadsThis
“NTA, let’s put this another way.”
“It sounds like your sister would like you to break the law and you’ve said you’d rather not.”
“How are you not in the right here?”
“I feel genuinely sad you’re not being backed up by your mom.”
“Look out for yourself OP.”- Amazing-Property-395
“Good freaking grief.”
“If this isn’t the epitome of a toxic relationship I don’t know what is.”
“Do not give in to this.”
“You are doing great and anyone with even half a brain would never ask you to risk this.”
“You can still have a great time sober.”
“And if she holds this against you, that is HER problem.”
“You do you.”
“do no compromise on this.”
“Your sister is an AH for even entertaining the idea of you breaking the law and possibly landing in serious hot water.”- PancakeBuny
“I adore cocktails, beer, wine, but would never once think about being upset because someone else chose not to imbibe, for any reason.”
“Seems like a good excuse to go low or no contact.”
“Your sister honestly doesn’t sound like she cares about you.”
“Just the comment about her dance partner can’t be sober makes her an AH.”
‘Your sister is a very immature 30 year old and I can’t believe your mum would side with them.”
“It makes me wonder if all the women in your family have a problem with drink.”
“Anyone telling you it’s okay because it’s just one night need to understand it could have a major impact on the rest of your life if you were to fail your tests.”
“Do they really want you to make that sort of sacrifice?”
“Be proud of what you’ve achieved and don’t let anyone bully you into drinking.”
“They don’t have your best interests in mind.”- RichSignal7022
No one wants their wedding day to be ruined.
However, the fact that the OP’s sister and mother think that she could possibly ruin the wedding by not drinking is deeply concerning.
One can only hope that they won’t join the unfortunate group of people that the OP had to cut out of her life to stay on the straight and narrow.