Being asked to be part of a wedding is an honor for many.
But that honor can quickly tarnish when the preparations and details get going.
A lot of issues arise when it comes to what everyone is going to wear.
So is there a compromise in fashion choices when you’re part of the wedding party?
Case in point…
Redditor throwaway5931474 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my friend she’s acting like a bridezilla because of bridesmaid outfits?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’ve got some people telling me I’m in the wrong here, but I’m not sure.”
“I’ve included pics because it’s easier just to show you want they look like instead of describing each dress.”
“My friend D is getting married, and she’s chosen outfits for the bridesmaids.”
“It’s all matching and also goes with her wedding outfit.”
“I’m not a huge fan of this outfit.”
“I told D I think the fit is going to be weird on me, and I’d like to wear something else.”
“It’s still cultural, not a Western dress, and it’ll still go with her wedding dress.”
The bridesmaid first wanted to clue us into the dress she picked.
this is the outfit D chose for bridesmaids
this is similar to the outfit I want, just imagine it in a red shade instead of pink
this is very similar to D’s wedding dress
“And I’d pay for the new outfit myself.”
“D refused because she wants the outfits to be ‘modest.'”
“I replied that there isn’t anything that immodest about the outfit I chose.”
“And I respect her religious beliefs, and she wants to be more modest, but I’m not a part of this religion myself.”
“She still insisted no, even when I tried to compromise, and I said she was acting like a bridezilla.”
“And if that’s the case, I might be backing out as bridesmaid.”
“Her response was ‘okay, sure,’ but she was snarky and got pissed.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“One is like a crop top while the other is a one-piece and is absolutely more modest.”
“I can’t understand how you can’t see the difference in the outfits.”
“Besides, it’s their wedding, not yours. They aren’t being a bridezilla for wanting one outfit over the other.”
“So if showing your midriff is more important than standing for your friend on their big day uuuuh… YTA.” ~ queenofwasps
“Yeah. I was expecting to see the bride had chosen some monstrosity, but I found the bride’s choice very beautiful and the sort of shape that should suit most people.”
“The OP’s alternative was plain weird.”
“I’m Southern European, so wearing a midriff-baring bridesmaid dress would be a very big no-no for me.”
“But maybe in her culture, it’s acceptable?”
“In any case, it is not modest like the bride has requested and would look out of place next to everyone else.” ~ blackbirdonatautwire
“Right? It goes even further than what I would consider acceptable deviation for a maid of honor dress, which sometimes is different than the rest of the bridesmaids.”
“It’s also not complimentary to the bridesmaids’ gowns, either.”
“And while it’s complimentary to the bridal gown, I’d say it’s too similar.”
“Like. An ‘immodest’ version of the bridal gown, almost.”
“I know Indians have a different view on showing up the bride than Americans or other westerners.”
“But… This seems tacky and deliberate.”
“I’m very curious if OP wanted or had something with the groom at some point.”
“This comes off, to me, similarly as a M[other] I[n] L[aw] wearing black, or that one post a bit back where the ex-wife literally came to the wedding in a red wedding gown.” ~ apri08101989
“Seriously. Option one is a clear blending of Indian and European styles.”
“It looks like a full ball gown, which is in line with the bride’s dress.”
“OP wants a more casual, beachy dress with her midriff showing.”
“The two are completely different styles and tastes.”
“OP is a blind AH.” ~ greentea1985
“I clicked on the pictures expecting them to be at least somewhat similar (to maybe sort of justify OP’s claim that her friend was a bridezilla).”
“I literally laughed out loud when I opened OP’s preferred dress because, OF COURSE, the bride can say no to that, especially when she is looking for modest attire.”
“OP, YTA. Big time.”
“Do the bride a favor and drop out of the wedding.” ~ snarkycrocheter
“OP’s main point is that the OG dress that the bride picked would look funny on them.”
“They are both A-line style dresses.”
“They would look basically the same besides so much more skin showing.”
“It is a ridiculous argument based on the style of the two dresses.”
“OP YTA, and wear the dang dress the bride picked or opt-out.” ~ IndigoTJo
“Not just this, but it’s like OP got all excited being in an Indian wedding, thinking she could wear a sexy dress, and is pissed that she doesn’t get her opportunity to appropriate the culture she imagined when she committed to being a bridesmaid.”
“There is such a vast difference between the dresses.”
“OP YTA for so many reasons.”
“But most importantly for choosing appearance over friendship and then trying to shame her into relenting on her reasonable preference.”
“Drop out. You do not deserve to be in her wedding party as you are not a real friend.” ~ HuntWorldly5532
“So it all depends on which religion OP’s friend is.”
“At my wedding, the two-piece leghna choli would have been appropriate as I am Hindu.”
“But at my friend’s weddings (one is Sikh and the other is Muslim), I know the one-piece gown would been the appropriate outfit.”
“This being said, the bride is well within her right to choose which outfit she wants for her bridesmaids and is paying for the outfits by the sounds of it.”
“OP is being disrespectful of the bride’s wishes and sounds very self-centered. YTA.” ~ Honest_Donut_9868
“One has full stomach and sleeve coverage and is made of a much more formal looking material- a beaded mesh or lace- not a casual floral print.”
“It’s very different in material and cut.”
“Aside from that, if OP isn’t from the culture, they don’t know what subtleties matter a lot (nor do I, but I know there are subtleties in my culture that matter a lot).”
“The bridesmaid dresses also look a lot like the brides but without gold, where the newly selected outfit just looks Indian inspired in the correct color scheme, but has a very different vibe.”
“Again, in a much more casual cut and fabric.”
‘It would stand out in the worst way if the other bridesmaids wear the bride’s preferred dress.”
“It’s kind of insulting to insist they’re the same level of modest.”
“If cost or actual body type was more of an issue (like extremely busty girls not being able to wear unsupportive garments), OP may have had an argument.”
“Lots of brides do get a bit unreasonable.”
“But just not liking something?”
“Plenty of people wear something less than flattering to make their friend happy on their big day.”
“And if this level of modesty is expected by the friend’s guests from her culture, she may be saving OP from a lot of discomfort by insisting she wears something more modest.”
“Looking at the bride’s dress, she seems to be keeping to the same kind of cut, formality, and modesty level, so there’s not even an argument that she’s trying to dress her friends uglier or less flattering to look better.” ~ notthedefaultname
“Also, the suggested bridesmaids’ dress is very like the bride’s dress in style except for the lack of ornamentation that provides visual contrast.”
“Meanwhile, OP’s suggested bridesmaid dress is very like the bride’s dress in color and ornamentation, but not in style, creating visual confusion/competition with the bride.” ~ Normal-Height-8577
“Girl. No. YTA.”
“You are a bridesmaid, and you will wear the most hideous puffy-sleeved, poorly fitting, unflattering dress on the planet if that is what the bride picks.”
“That is your job.”
“This is not your wedding.”
“She gets what she wants for the bridesmaid’s dresses.” ~ Top-Butterfly-9582
“There are plenty of women who follow Islam who wear sarees.”
“There’s also a way to drape them so that they are still modest and don’t show any skin.”
“And many Hindu women also like to be covered too.”
“In fact, there is a story about Draupadi in the Mahabharata where someone tries to strip her of her clothes in court to humiliate her.”
“But she prays to Krishna, and no matter how many lengths of the saree are unraveled from her body, more and more material replaces it, maintaining her modesty and keeping her covered.”
“OP just sounds like she is attention-seeking rather than anything else, and she needs to get over herself. YTA OP.” ~ Jigglypuff-n-stuff
“How is she being a bridezilla for picking out the dress she wants for her bridesmaids? YTA.” ~ QueenOfTheSnarkness
“YTA. If you can’t see that those two dresses are VASTLY different, you should have your eyes checked.”
“It’s her wedding. It isn’t supposed to be about you.”
“I’d hope the friendship means more to you than the dress.” ~ LexGuy12
OP, Reddit is not really feeling your response or your dress selection.
Not your day. Not your choice.
It may be time to evaluate which is more important: your fashion or your friend.