When we are going to attend a wedding, we go in with the understanding that there are certain rules, like not drawing attention away from the happy couple or not wearing white.
But for a bride who is more excited about her wedding than the typical bride, it may be especially important to honor that etiquette, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
After having a tough childhood, Redditor heyworldhelp was looking forward to having a beautiful, meaningful wedding day.
But when her friend decided to pull a prank on her that day, the Original Poster (OP) didn’t know what else to do besides ask her to leave.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for throwing my best friend out of my wedding?”
The OP created a very special wedding day for herself and her husband.
“I (28 Female) got married to the love of my life a month ago. It was a small intimate ceremony, with only twenty people.”
“However, our venue was extravagant, and so was everything else, especially my dress. I went a little overboard with the money I spent on my dress (I paid for it myself, so I didn’t break anyone’s bank), but I remain happy with my decision.”
“As a kid who didn’t have the nicest childhood, I always envisioned my wedding to be a special event where it’s all about me and my future husband. I wanted to feel special, and beautiful, both of which I have rarely experienced all my life.”
“This is why we chose to only have the people closest to us attend and put the remaining of our budget into the venue, food, and my dress.”
She also coordinated dress plans with her bridesmaids.
“One of my bridesmaids was my high school best friend, Andy. She and I have been very close since high school, and she’s helped me through a lot.”
“However, back in school, Andy used to be kind of a bully, even towards me. Obviously, this was all back in school, and I thought she’d significantly grown since then.”
“During the wedding planning, Andy asked me if I had a vision in mind for her bridesmaid dress”
“I told her I didn’t really care, and she could wear whatever she wanted, as long as it was a light color that would go well with my dress.”
“She picked out a nice rose gold dress that I thought was rather cute, and I assumed that was that.”
But the OP was shocked when she saw Andy’s dress in person.
“A few days before my wedding, Andy calls me and tells me she has a “surprise” in store for me that she hoped I’d enjoy. I assumed it was a wedding gift or something of the sort, but boy was I wrong!”
“On my wedding day, while I was getting ready, Andy walked in, wearing a lacy white dress.”
“And not just ANY white dress. It was clearly a bridal dress, complete with an elegant headpiece that could pass off as a modern veil.”
“I was flabbergasted and asked her why she was dressed like a bride.”
“Andy then proceeded to tell me that she changed her mind about her former dress and decided she wanted to pick something that would work as a symbol of her sharing in my joy and happiness.”
“She talked about how back in high school, she used to joke all the time about how she’d wear white to my wedding, and how I used to laugh about that.”
“So, this was supposed to be a fun ‘inside joke.'”
“Well, obviously, I didn’t think it was funny. A huge argument ensued, where I basically yelled my lungs off at her.2
“She offered to change back into her rose gold dress, but I was extremely p**sed, I just asked her to leave.”
Andy repeatedly lashed out at the OP for dismissing her from the wedding.
“In the following days, she called me shallow (for picking a dress over inviting more people), and claimed I’m jealous because she looked slimmer in her dress than I did.”
“Eventually, I blocked her.”
“Her husband then called me up to tell me that she’s been depressed lately and just wanted to cheer herself up by looking good and that I overreacted.”
“She told me previously that she’s depressed because she quit her job after her marriage (approximately 2 years ago) and ever since, she’s lonely and stuck in a rut. She is a bit of a thrill-seeker, who needs to have something exciting happening, which she’s lost as a housewife. (Her words, not mine.)”
“Now I know she’s not been doing well, but I don’t think I could let it go, especially since she knew how important the day was to me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP simply discovered who her bridesmaid really was: not a friend.
“Definitely NTA. She f**ked around and found out.”
“You found out she was still awful. Can’t imagine what might possibly be causing her to not be doing so well in life.” – FlameBoi3000
“I’ve got family members who are friends with exactly this type of person and when I ask them why, they say that they’ve been friends for so long and that they don’t wanna end up bitter and lonely and ostracise their friend because their friend is… rude and exhausting to be around.”
“Like people are so terrified of being alone that they’ll cop years of abuse from ‘friends’ rather than make new ones or just learn to be okay being alone.” – bequietbecky
“Dude, she literally said that the girl was her bully in high school but was also her high school best friend. WTF (what the f**k).” – saintphoenixxx
“NTA. You made the right choice. She tried to “cheer herself up” by bullying you. That isn’t a friend. Block her. Move on. And I hope you had an amazing wedding and even more happiness to come.” – del901
“You said, ‘A few days before my wedding, Andy calls me and tells me she has a ‘surprise’ in store for me that she hoped I’d enjoy. I assumed it was a wedding gift, or something of the sort, but boy was I wrong!’ This is malicious intent.”
“Then you said, ‘She talked about how back in high school she used to joke all the time about how she’d wear white to my wedding, and how I used to laugh about that. So, this was supposed to be a fun ‘inside joke.’ A joke that only she remembered TEN years later? Now she’s using a minimizing apology.”
“Then you said, ‘In the following days, she’s called me shallow (for picking a dress over inviting more people).’ Yes, how dare you celebrate YOUR wedding the way YOU wanted to.”
“Then she ‘claimed I’m jealous because she looked slimmer in her dress than I did.’ What a terrible way to shift the blame from her egregious behavior.”
“You said, ‘Her husband then called me up to tell me that she’s been depressed lately and just wanted to cheer herself up by looking good and that I overreacted.’ Sending her spouse to defend her behavior, and dismissing your feelings to the situation.”
“You said, ‘Eventually, I blocked her.’ Best decision you’d ever make. this girl was never your best friend. Best friends don’t treat each other like that. NTA.” – patterson_2384
Others agreed and couldn’t believe Andy would take the “inside joke” so far.
“I’m so appalled it was hard for me to read all that while going cross-eyed from madness.”
“What? Sometimes it’s so hard to believe these are real people because WHAT?!”
“NTA. I’d kick her out of my wedding, and then my life. I hope you had a lovely ceremony and I bet everything was just gorgeous!” – ScumBucket22
“Friend is depressed so somehow that translates into friend gets to take over OP’s wedding???” – One_Ad_704
“This reminds me of the post a few days back where someone ‘joked’ about objecting to the wedding in the middle of the ceremony.”
“There are certain lines you just don’t cross.”
“You are NTA.”
“Your ‘friend’ is at least in this case very much TA. Hopefully, she finds more productive ways to work out her loneliness.” – Dennis_Ogre
“NTA. Good for you for drawing the line.”
“And I don’t believe for one second that she ‘wanted to cheer herself up.’ She knew exactly what she was doing.”
“Wow, the nerve of some people.”
“And Congrats on the marriage!” – LostInNerdWorld
“My favorite bit is the ‘inside joke.'”
“Like, ‘Remember how we used to joke in high school that I was so desperate for attention, I’d even show up at your wedding in my own wedding gown. Ha ha, that was so funny… now for your wedding day, I’m going to do it just so we can have a laugh.'” – DrunkOnRedCordial
“She wanted to upstage you. That comment about you being jealous that she looked slimmer in her dress than you did speaks volumes.”
“If you’re depressed you don’t lift yourself out of it by being a s**tty person at your friend’s wedding. That makes zero sense. You didn’t overreact, her husband needs to stay in his lane.” – CrystalQueen3000
The subReddit was unanimously disgusted on the OP’s behalf because of how her friend treated her at the wedding.
They were actually suspicious if the friend was ever a friend at all, or if she had been planning to upstage the OP all this time, long-con style.
At least the OP still managed to have a beautiful wedding day, barrage of text messages notwithstanding.