The minute they become engaged, all brides-to-be begin to fantasize about their wedding dress.
Even though they’ll likely only wear it once in their entire life, it will still be the most important dress they’ll ever own.
So, understandably, even the possibility of anything happening to their wedding dress is enough to elicit fury and sadness.
Redditor bridezillaaita3’s wedding dress had particularly special meaning to her, and thus she went to great lengths to protect it.
But despite her best efforts, one of the original poster (OP)’s bridesmaids damaged the dress only minutes before the wedding, expectedly leading to a full on breakdown.
But after being called a “bridezilla” for her behavior, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for going “bridezilla” after my bridesmaid spilled wine on my wedding dress?”
The OP first shared the special meaning behind her wedding dress, and the great lengths she went to to protect it.
“I (27 F[emale]) got married a month ago.”
“My dress was this long, lacy gown that my mom wore at her wedding.”
“My mom passed away about 2 years ago.”
“Because the dress was so important to me, I had a big plan to keep it safe from any damages.”
“I would only wear the dress at the wedding itself, and I would switch to a more casual dress for the reception.”
“When I was wearing the dress, I wouldn’t eat or drink anything except water, and I would stay inside at all times.”
“I promise I’m not usually this crazy about cleanliness, but this was my mom’s dress, and the thought of it being damaged broke my heart.”
“But I also knew I wanted to wear it when I got married to have a piece of her with me.”
“She adored this dress and always dreamed I would wear it.”
“My bridesmaids knew very well about my particularities with the dress.”
“I had a room above the venue where I was getting ready.”
“My dress was hanging in a safe place in the room.”
However, on the day of the wedding, a reckless decision by one of the OP’s bridesmaids resulted in disastrous consequences, both for the dress and the offending bridesmaid.
“On the day of the wedding, I went down to check on something for the wedding, leaving my bridesmaids in the room.”
“Here’s what happened, as they told it to me:
“They opened a bottle of Pinot Noir (my favorite) as a celebration.”
“They poured themselves glasses and began to walk around checking out the room.”
“One of my bridesmaids, ‘Anna’, (27 F[emale]) wanted to get a closer look at my dress.”
“She got really close to it, and she started touching the lace.”
“Somehow, her hand holding the wine glass slipped, and wine spilled all over the bottom of the dress.”
“When I came upstairs, they told me what happened, and I started sobbing.”
“My maid of honor called several professional cleaners, and they said there was no way they could get the dress in before the wedding.”
“They told us ways to save the dress until we could get it into them, so my MOH started doing that.”
“After that call, I became extremely angry.”
“I asked ‘Anna’ what the hell she was doing holding red wine so close to my dress when she knew how careful I was being.”
“She dismissed it and said it wasn’t such a big deal because I was planning to wear the dress, so it could have gotten damaged that way too.”
“I couldn’t believe she said that. I called her thoughtless and careless and stupid.”
“I told her that she was no longer part of the wedding and that I wanted her to leave.”
“She left, and neither of us have reached out to the other since.”
“I got married in the dress I had planned to wear for the reception, and I was heartbroken not to be wearing my mom’s dress.”
“After the wedding, my bridesmaids joked that I was a bridezilla for kicking ‘Anna’ out after she made a ‘honest mistake’.”
“I absolutely don’t think I’m the AH or a bridezilla because Anna’s reaction was so horrible and insincere.”
“But I wanted to get the story off my chest and ask some people who might be more impartial, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not at all an a**hole for kicking the offending bridesmaid out of the wedding party.
Everyone agreed that after knowing how much the OP’s dress meant to her, the bridesmaid in question was reckless, and were shocked by her insincere apology, with some even wondering if she might have done it on purpose.
“NTA at all.”
“If I was Ana, I would have been absolutely mortified and would have been apologizing profusely to you.”
“I also would never have red wine near a wedding dress, especially one that holds so much sentimental value.”- straightaspasta
“Quite frankly your friends calling you a bridezilla and making a joke of this are the assholes.”
“You on the other hand had a very normal reaction when Anna not only crossed a boundary but showed no remorse for doing so.”
“NTA.”- New-Fudge-7871
“NTA.”
“Why the hell would anyone have red wine that close to the dress?”
“She couldn’t have waited to see it without the red wine?”
“I feel so bad you couldn’t wear your mothers dress.”
“And to say it ‘could have been damaged from wearing it’ is the lamest deflective excuse.”
“I would have done the same thing you did.”- No-Rub1544
“Why?”
“WHY would you wander around with a glass of wine next to a white wedding dress that had such extreme sentimental value?”
“NTA.”
“I just.”
“They couldn’t have waited?”
“They couldn’t have waited to have wine?”
“IMO, even if the dress wasn’t sentimental because of your mom, the fact that’s it’s your wedding dress automatically makes it VIP.”
“It doesn’t seem bridezilla or OTT to take precautions not to have big, ugly stains on your wedding dress.”
“And the fact that Anna didn’t seem sorry makes me feel like she deserved to be kicked out.”-loloannd
“I can’t be the only one who thinks she did this on purpose?”
“I’m incredibly uncoordinated and even I wouldn’t do something like this.”- Next-End-4696
“NTA.”
“It wasn’t necessarily the ‘accident’ that sealed it, it was the complete lack of remorse after the fact for me.”
“Has Anna shown a propensity before now to be more of a frenemy?”- No_Performer7787
“NTA.”
“There is no way this was an accident.”-Fainora
“Anna is a HUGE AH!!”
“Bottom line.:
“She was careless.”
“She KNEW it was important to you as it would be for ANY bride but this was EXTRA and EVERYONE was aware.”
“She should never have risked that.”
“If people don’t understand that then they too are AH, but guess who ISN’T one?”
“YOU dear OP.”
“NTA AT ALL.”
“I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
“I think you should stand your ground on this.”
“This wasn’t just a birthday ‘ruined’ or an ‘I forgot the paper plates for the picnic’.”
“This was one of the most important days of your life.”
“She owes you a very sincere apology, showing that she truly understands what she did!”
“Until then, you deserve to be around people who value you and your feelings.”- MajorRockstar79
“Why did they even open a red wine?!”
“It might not have only been Anna trying to sabotage your wedding.”
“Who thinks of opening a red wine before photos, and around a white dress?”
“NTA.”- Sad-File3624
“Anna did that on purpose.”
“NTA.”- Beck2010
“Who even brings a glass of red wine near a wedding dress that hasn’t even been worn to the ceremony yet?”
“Then to say it wasn’t a big deal?”
“NTA.”- Slip_Slip_Knit
“NTA she wast sorry for what she did, that’s why you kicked her out.”
“RED WINE at a wedding is just.. so dumb.”
“Mo protective covering over the dress either?”
“It was all a recipe for mistakes and it seems like an accident, dropping a friend over that would make you the AH but that’s not what happened, she showed she didn’t care about something that mattered a lot to you.”- pareCartographer402
“NTA.”
“But why was there even red wine in the same room as that dress?”
“Not saying any blame is on you, I’m just very confused why red wine was allowed when you were so stern about keeping the dress clean.”- TinyRascalSaurus
One hopes that no one would be so malicious as to intentionally damage the wedding dress of a bride’s late mother on the day of her wedding.
But it’s equally hard to understand why anyone would even think of bringing a glass of red wine in such close proximity to a wedding dress with such emotional value.
Here’s hoping the OP could still enjoy the rest of her wedding, and that she might consider sending the cleaner’s bill to the offending bridesmaid.